Today, at the microbiology lab, I discovered that the guy who took the shift before me didn't sterilize the work space very well. I am now blowing chunks from both ends from a very nasty strain of E. Coli. My company blames me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at work in a lab. I spent all day growing a large bacterial culture. I went to retrieve it, only to find that someone had turned the incubation shaker up too high, and my flask had flown off and shattered. Not only did I lose all my work, but now the whole room is a biohazard. FML
Today, I was teaching my microbiology lab class as a graduate TA. Some dumbass frat boy dared his friend to drink a tube of E. coli and the idiot did it. Now everything in the lab is contaminated with vomit. FML
Today, I was sick from both ends at work. My boss wouldn't let me go home, and told me to borrow a pair of spare pants to change into. I suffered another bout of gastroenteritis and shit someone else's pants. FML
Today, I was working as a paramedic when my patient's colostomy bag exploded all over me. I was covered in fecal matter, with 5 hours left on my shift. FML
Today, I work in a grocery store and a woman suffering from diarrhea somehow managed to get shit up and down two of the store aisles, then go to the ladies room and mess up the stall. I was the only one working trained in deal with bio-hazardous waste so I had to clean it up. FML
Today, it was my first day as a pharm tech. Two hours into my shift, I came down with awful food poisoning, causing me to go to the restroom multiple times before eventually leaving. I'd filled multiple controlled substances today and can't help but think my coworkers are thinking I'm a drug addict. FML
Today, at work I had to spend two hours cleaning up stinky toilet water. Why? Because yesterday, I forgot to turn on the septic tank pumps. The tank overflowed, and so did all the toilets. My boss is not happy. FML
Today, I have food poisoning. My boss told me that if I didn't come into work, I'd be fired. Not 30 minutes after sitting down, I sneezed and shat my pants. My boss still won't let me leave. FML
Today, as if having diarrhea at work wasn’t bad enough, my office’s aggressively flushing toilet sprayed me with my own liquid shit. FML
Today, someone had explosive diarrhea in my bathroom at work and didn't clean it up. I'm the only woman in the office and I have only one toilet with no window or fan, so I have to leave the door open to air it out. It's right beside the canteen. Everyone will think it was me. FML
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Top comments
stinkmeaner 3
Thats why you should sterilize before you start your shift!!!
perdix 31
Or about finding a job.
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Comments (131)
crazyrunnergirl 7
I feel a lawsuit coming on
Kuromaus 8
I'm saying both FYL and YDI. When working with bacteria like that in a lab, never trust the handiwork of the person before you and always sterilize /before/ you start working. Of course, I myself accidentally spilled E. Coli on my hands from being shoved into while working with it, so yeah, I can relate.
Greenpenguin999 7
Start coming to work in a giant hamster ball
cwc2311 4
Yeah, I definitely feel bad for you but you should always take the precaution of sterilizing your workspace before you start. Never trust the person before you.
bubo_fml 11
Perfect excuse for when you get an STD..."No baby, I got the clap from the lab! Honest!"
geon_olam 17
Sure u didn't get it from eating ur own feces?
greenmen 12
Should give it back to him ????????????
DocBastard 40
I'm very confused here. Maybe someone can explain. Even if your work space wasn't sterilised, how did you get infected with a fecal-oral bacteria? The only way would be for you to put your HANDS in your MOUTH. No matter how terminally sterile something in your lab may be, keep you ******* mouth away from it, idiot! Or am I missing something and owe OP an apology?
TheDrifter 24
All I can think of is that possibly op was resting his/her forearms on the counter and then sneezed into the elbow? Possible transferrance that way? Or they were terminally stupid enough to eat lunch off a work table in the microbiology lab. Whats the gestation period before symptoms for E Coli?
antmanzero 8
I was wondering the same thing, Doc. I think OP's just a dumbass. Just like at least half of the human population. I'm such a downer. :3
ZuzySuzy 2
oh come on. if you're working with pathogenic bacteria, at least use sterile technique. never, ever trust the people before you. I'm a sophomore, and I know better than that.
cheeyeah 0
Should of washed your hands!!