Anonymous
Australia 🌶️ Spicy
Bored
Today, I caught myself thinking about what to cook for dinner tonight. During sex. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anon
🌶️ Spicy
Time to shop
Today, I made my whole grocery list out in my head. While having sex with my fiancee. FML
Anonymous
Gloucester, United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
First time
Today, I had sex for the first time. I realised that I was more satisfied by last night's dinner. FML
Anonymous
Lebanon 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML
Anonymous
Altoona, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Surprise!
Today, after my girlfriend had said she was cooking surprise dinner for me this week, the crazy thing is I came home early from work and the surprise dinner was she was eating some dude's cock and balls. FML
PTKFML
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, while in the middle of having sex with my husband, instead of saying something sexy in my ear, he whispered, "We are so gonna make pizza after this." FML
Krissy
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Hangry sex
Today, during sex, my boyfriend stopped and asked if he could eat a sandwich while we do it. FML
Anonymous
A man without a plan
Today, I was going to surprise my partner with a romantic dinner, but when I got home I realized I had forgotten the main ingredient: the food. FML
Anonymous
Newnan, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was listening to a local radio station, and they did a segment called "food porn." As they were sexually describing various types of food, I actually found myself getting turned on over a pizza. FML
Ouch
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I thought it would be sexy to cook dinner in lingerie. Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was cooking. I jumped and burned my boobs with boiling cooking oil. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Right place, wrong time
Today, I was sitting on the couch, computer next to me, lotion on the floor, and my dick in my hand when my roommate walked in on me. Scared and looking me right in the face he says, "What's for dinner?" FML
Top comments
tinker9107 1
Was it that boring ?
thisisafunnyname 12
Maybe instead of "get out more" you should say "get it in more"
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Comments (175)
perdix 31
Cocktail weenies not satisfying you? You ought to boil a kielbasa or a bratwurst, but two pickled eggs at one end, all on a bed of blackened alfalfa sprouts. Put mayonnaise on top. That will fill you right up!
msjoyfull84 0
Fmls like this make me thankful for my man!!
xxsilentxheartxx 0
Ahahah! Jenna Marbles
helpme37 0
I don't agree ur life sucks I agree it sex life sucks if ur thinking about dinner!!! So sorry for you
LateandGreat 11
Its strange how a lot of people are just assuming outright that the OP is a woman.
Strwbry3Shortcke 8
I know everyone already said it but: Jenna Marbles! HAHA! That sucks though, try cosmopolitan.com, they've got some great articles on sex and relationships to spice up your life in the bedroom!
mosquito19 14
you eat too much. loose some weight
Broncasaurus 4
You must be the perfect woman
sandinthewaves 5
That's actually a problem a lot of people have no matter how good the sex is.
Shayton 12
Bacon!