Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was watching porn with no headphones, because my roommate had left for work. He didn’t fill me in that his girlfriend was, one, even over at our place, and two was using the room next to me to teach her third grade class. Yeah. I’m going to get headphones. FML
Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML
Today, I listened to my roommate having sex from 3 a.m. until 6 a.m. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML
Today, I wanted to sleep in after a rough week, only to be woken up by my roommate's sex screams and the pounding of her bed against the wall. Earplugs did not help. FML
Today, I took advantage of the fact that my wife was sleeping to watch porn on my computer. I put headphones on so that she wouldn't hear, but It wasn't until she came out of the bedroom that I realised I hadn't plugged them in properly. FML
Today, at 1 a.m., I had my headphones on trying to watch porn. I live in an apartment with thin ass walls anyway, and I didn’t realize my headphone jack had come undone. The volume was terrible on the video so I raised it louder, not realizing it until like maybe halfway through the video, and my window was also open. FML
Today, I was lying in bed, trying to sleep, when I heard my parents having sex, so I put on my headphones. After listening to music for a good long while, I figured they were done by now, so I took off the headphones just in time to hear them finish. FML
Today, I was watching porn in the living room with the volume turned up, because I was under the impression that my family had already left for vacation. It turns out my cousin and his girlfriend were upstairs the entire time. FML
Today, I was getting ready for bed, when I decided to watch some porno on the computer. Suddenly someone from my messenger list says, "You might want to turn off the 'What You're Listening To' option if you're watching porn." I snapped and exited the porn. 63 people saw. FML
Today, I sat in the bathroom on my phone to rub one out after a long day. Wanting to hear the action, I upped the volume until the sound was low enough for me to hear, despite the volume being near max. I continued until I realized my phone was connected to my headset outside near my family. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
crazybaish69 0
WOW thats bad.
icanhazfmlz 0
What a nice roommate.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (78)
crazybaish69 0
WOW thats bad.
XYZzzzzzzz 0
a few strokes... i dont need to hear that
immazombeastxD 0
atleast he didn't snap 'it' in 2
QuantumLegend 0
at least his roommate "gave him a hand"
lindsey_grace 3
hahahahahaahahaha!
Guatican 6
#76, you my friend deserve a medal.
deeznutzismine 0
classy.
joojoo_fml 0
i guess those headphones weren't really noise-canceling.
blinkingstarlet 15
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
That's exactly what I was thinking.
swag2314 0
That's what the thumbs up bouton is for.
nachiketin 11
If you re-read the FML you will realize that he had not plugged in the headphones.
JazzHandsFML 28
quite the illiterate group we have here.
threefitty25 0
Haha I got a worse one. I caught my roomate "finishing" on his girl, he had left the door unlocked and the mood music up. He never heard me walk in.
Nice_but_Unlucky 0
that isn't worse
seanoc69 7
That's just creepy
icanhazfmlz 0
What a nice roommate.
Blind_Ninja 0
This story is bogus. If the head phones weren't plugged in, you would have known. Unless, of course, you're that much of an idiot and you just assumed that your movie had no sound and, by some miracle of God, those noise-canceling headphones actually cancel noise even when they're not outputting sound. If you're going to make up a story for this site, at least make it good. You fail. Epically.
TBR 0
noise canceling head phones cancel all sound just enough that any sounds coming from inside are louder. So he would still hear it and possibly think it was a quiet movie(as some are.) I must say however only an awesome roommate would plug in the headphones he could have done a lot worse.(yelled at you to stop or my favorite punch you) lol
Nate_87 0
If ones headphones are half way in the jack, then sound is emitted from both the computer speakers, and the headphones. Also, the headphones might be the ones that cancel out the inside noise, rather than the inside. Either way, pretty funny scenario, but as the Blind Ninja pointed out, could be fake, just because of the wording.
Seegtease 0
It would be literally impossible for somebody to have headphones on, have loud speakers, and not notice that the sound was coming from the speakers instead of the headphones. Anybody try it. There's no way to confuse the two. Ever.
Hannah_fml 0
I agree on all points with #14, TBR.