Anonymous
Australia 🌶️ Spicy
Bored
Today, I caught myself thinking about what to cook for dinner tonight. During sex. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anon
🌶️ Spicy
Time to shop
Today, I made my whole grocery list out in my head. While having sex with my fiancee. FML
Anonymous
Gloucester, United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
First time
Today, I had sex for the first time. I realised that I was more satisfied by last night's dinner. FML
Anonymous
Lebanon 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML
Anonymous
Altoona, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Surprise!
Today, after my girlfriend had said she was cooking surprise dinner for me this week, the crazy thing is I came home early from work and the surprise dinner was she was eating some dude's cock and balls. FML
PTKFML
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, while in the middle of having sex with my husband, instead of saying something sexy in my ear, he whispered, "We are so gonna make pizza after this." FML
Krissy
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Hangry sex
Today, during sex, my boyfriend stopped and asked if he could eat a sandwich while we do it. FML
Anonymous
A man without a plan
Today, I was going to surprise my partner with a romantic dinner, but when I got home I realized I had forgotten the main ingredient: the food. FML
Anonymous
Newnan, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was listening to a local radio station, and they did a segment called "food porn." As they were sexually describing various types of food, I actually found myself getting turned on over a pizza. FML
Ouch
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I thought it would be sexy to cook dinner in lingerie. Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was cooking. I jumped and burned my boobs with boiling cooking oil. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Right place, wrong time
Today, I was sitting on the couch, computer next to me, lotion on the floor, and my dick in my hand when my roommate walked in on me. Scared and looking me right in the face he says, "What's for dinner?" FML
Top comments
tinker9107 1
Was it that boring ?
thisisafunnyname 12
Maybe instead of "get out more" you should say "get it in more"
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Comments (175)
Johnny6speed 0
Or bacon, sausage and eggs then use the bacon grease to pour on the eggs and spread some on your toast. Just make sure to do it before it congeals. Oh and as an after breakfast snack or a appetizer for dinner you could deep fry balls of bacon grease. I call then bacon balls. MMMMMMM good.
Skylar246 5
Can I join?
cash_monkey72 9
Sausage, right?
tennis06 7
sandwhich
mama2b3 20
If you're that distracted during sex, maybe instead of complaining about it you should take charge a little bit. It's hard to get bored and zone out if ur doing something other than just laying there.
marissamay25 3
That's funny:D
robynnicole 0
Tuna? XD
76transam 0
I just threw up in my mouth a little bit
radiculous 1
That's just sad OP..... Buy a pair of velvet hand cuffs for the next time you **** and I assure you you'll end up with some food on you and not on your mind (like whipped cream or chocolate)
cobanjo 2
Sex
KiddNYC1O 22
What ever it is you're lodging up there, get it bigger.