Today, I woke up to the sound of a Suburban crashing through my fence and striking the tree in my front yard. After filling out the police report, the driver repeatedly asked me to give him a lift to work. He seemed confused by my speechlessness. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I totaled my car, because I mistook the leaves blowing across the road for a child. I swerved and hit a tree. The home owner wants to sue for "harming his tree" and hospital wants to test my mental stability. FML
Today, I was driving home when a guy crashed into me from behind. I got out of my car and told him that I was going to call the cops. He then asked me if we could move to a corner because we were blocking the way, so we then got back in to move. I looked in the mirror to see him driving off. FML
Today, I woke up to find the entire driver's side of my car wrecked. Front door, back door, front and rear bumper smashed to shit. A drunk driver had hit it the previous night and ran. Don't worry though, he stopped and left his insurance information. He keyed it into the undamaged side of my car. FML
Today, I got into a car accident. The guy wouldn't give me his information, but instead stood there saying, "Like a good neighbor, Statefarm is there." FML
Today, I was driving around my campsite at dark in the middle of a forest. My father thought it would be funny to run up to my window, put his face against the glass and scream. I drove into a tree. FML
Today, I awoke to the sound of my neighbors attacking my car with a baseball bat accusing me of calling the cops on them. I did call the cops on them, after they screamed at me last night, drunkenly, to call the cops for them because they thought they were being robbed. FML
Today, I saw a bad car wreck. I pulled over and ran to the car to find an unconscious man behind the wheel. Another car pulled up, and a guy got out. I was relieved to have help, until, to my horror, he started trying to hit on me. I was stuck with him until the ambulance arrived. FML
Today, I woke up and saw my new car was gone and my son seemed very shifty. When I questioned him with the cops, he admitted to taking it for a joyride and "leaving it" behind a derelict mall. We drove over. It was wrapped around a light post, completely destroyed. FML
Today, I decided to be a good driver and not run through the yellow light. As soon as I stopped my car another came and rear-ended me. The guy told me to go in the parking lot so we can exchange information. So I drove into the parking lot, I turned my head and watched him drive away. FML
Today, while driving into work, a guy cut me off and I yelled some nasty things out of my window at him. He heard me, followed me to work, took a baseball bat out and then chased me into the office. He also smashed my windshield on his way out. FML
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Top comments
soccerguy2 11
just give him the keys for your car. he seems like a good trustworthy driver.
AngrehPirate 0
What a greedy man...
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Comments (120)
AngrehPirate 0
What a greedy man...
BarDownDaily 12
Was he intoxicated? That's my only logical explanation?
AngrehPirate 0
The point is it clearly isn't ops fault. Yet he files out a report and even has the nerve to ask op for a ride..
AngrehPirate 0
Today, I misread FML. FML. The guy fills out the police report that op has him fill out, but still asks op for a ride. Moreover leaving op speechless
bulgeinmypants 0
I thought the guy was filing a report on OP. That would've made it worse.
zachattack112492 4
Could of asked for a sandwich
Jaxx66 21
Hell. I wouldn't give him a ride. Should have told the cop you were being harassed too.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
I doubt he would be driving to work intoxicated, 10. Could have been a deer, a squirrel, bee in the car, avoiding a reckless driver, ice on the road, hot naked chicks taking a morning jog while rubbing oil all over each other, what have you.
pixelpies 4
70- i love when they do that!
n_epic_fail 14
How is he going to pay for the damage if he's out of a job op?
BlackCloudedSldr 5
It's called insurance. You have to have it in order to own a vehicle. Insurance pays it.
LO388 7
Maybe he seemed confused from his concussion.
kolk777 10
You don't need insurance to own a vehicle, you need insurance to legally drive a vehicle.
ninjuh_wingman 29
Did you say yes?
pinkcrayola 0
Of course. What was he going to do, say no after the wonderful bonding experience they had?
LexSwift 17
You already filed a police report. Just give the guy a ride.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
You sure it wasn't you? You seem strangely sympathetic.
downtime 13
Sympathy has nothing to do with it. It wasn't an act of malice, shit happens. If it's convenient for you to drive him somewhere then why not? Unless you just don't like giving strangers a ride somewhere, in which case just advise him of that. There really isn't any harm in him asking...
ShroomsOnAcid 17
It was a joke, 58. I do agree with you though.
downtime 13
Of course you agree with me, who doesn't?! :P
TPSerigne 9
And stupid comments make people exercise their right to use the thumbs down button.
downtime 13
93, I'm aware of how the system works. It was obvious the comment would be buried from the minute I typed it, the entire thing was tongue in cheek and wouldn't actually work if people didn't disagree with it...pretty obvious really.
soccerguy2 11
just give him the keys for your car. he seems like a good trustworthy driver.
tellithowitis 13
I can not agree with you more.
bizarre_ftw 22
Yeah, the city trusted him with a drivers license, why can't you trust him with your car?
tttt122345 0
Win!
IntoTheClouds 42
I'm sorry, that sucks.
ariannaimelda 7
Some people are just clueless. Hope your fence gets fixed soon OP!
TexasMud 8
But not the OP! He/she is able to tell what kind of vehicle is crashing just by the sound of the accident, I wish I knew my cars as well as the OP!
MontesC 0
I think that driver that hit your tree just wrote an FML too
godisnowhere41 5
He's either overly friendly, very slow, or just plain stupid
J3R3MYY 14
I choose d) all of the above.
KiddNYC1O 22
Apparently, he's not that slow.
antmanzero 8
Just give him a ******* ride, it was an accident. its not like he hit the tree on purpose.. -.-
antmanzero 8
And before the grammar Nazis hit me, *It's.
Jirekianu2 19
So if I smashed into your yard and ****** up something cause I'm a distracted driver you'll give me a ride?
Jaxx66 21
Nope. Apparently he wasn't paying enough attention or he'd of made it to work himself. He deserves to call in and explain why he's late.
downtime 13
Quite the assumptive lot aren't we? It doesn't say why the crash occurred. The guy could have been swerving out of the way of a small child for all you know. The fact is, regardless of the situation, theres no need to be a douche about it. If you don't want to give someone a ride then that's your perogative, but to act like it's a big problem for them to even ask is hardly mature behaviour.
lolyeahthatsme 11
Hey mr.dick, he most likely could have prevented the crash so stfu.
downtime 13
So your point is what? If there's a possibility of preventing a crash you deserve to be villified by immature fools? Naw, lets leave thinking for the adults, hey little guy?
tttt122345 0
Seriously, what's done is done. He was an idiot for doing that but be the better person and just give him a ride.
antmanzero 8
Could've sworn I replied earlier. Hmmph, effing mobile version. Anywho, yes, I would give the guy a ride, if I had the time and it wasn't too much of a hassle, like a 30 minute one-way drive.
xShannonxSammyx 7
The world is full of morons.
Xaviexis 6
I would give the guy a ride assuming he didn't look like he might try to kill me, eat me, or hump me, just to make it an even better story to tell people afterwards.
godisnowhere41 5
If you'ld give him a ride just to make a good story than I'm sure him humpin you would make it an even better story to tell