Today, I got a text message while driving home. I checked after arriving, and found it was a kinky text from my boyfriend, so I sent him an even kinkier reply. He later raged at me, because I somehow should have known he was showing off his phone to his mom when I sent my reply. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I sent a kinky text message to my boyfriend. Within minutes I got a reply of, "Whoever this is, fuck off and give my girlfriend's phone back." Apparently I'm so bad at writing sexy messages that my boyfriend thought it was a prank from someone who'd stolen my phone. FML
Today, I sent a romantic, flirty text to my boyfriend. A few minutes later, I got a reply from… my mom, saying, “I don’t think this was meant for me, but thanks for making my day awkward.” FML
Today, as I was driving my dad home, I got a text message. My dad, who doesn't want me texting while I'm driving, decided to read the text message to me. He began to repeat a message from my boyfriend recounting the amazing sex we had the night before. FML
Today, I thought it would be hot if I sent my boyfriend kinky message. He didn't reply so I sent a few more. 10 minutes later I got a reply saying, "Honey, this is his mom and you should be a little less desperate." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were talking on the phone, and things got a little heated. We were in the middle of some kinky dialog, complete with hand action when he suddenly goes silent. While waiting for a response, I heard typing on the other end. He was checking his email. FML
Today, while my boyfriend was inside me, he got a text message. He actually stopped thrusting to reply. FML
Today, I was unbelievably horny so I sent a kinky text message to a boy I really like, only to receive the reply, "Not tonight, I'm raging Minecraft, having a wank, and going to sleep. Try again tomorrow." FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it was a good show of etiquette to answer a text message from his ex, while he was still inside me. FML
Today, I confronted my boyfriend after he received a text with a bunch of hearts on it. After arguing, turns out it was from me. FML
Today, I was sexting my boss. I realised that I wasn't texting my boyfriend after I'd sent 2 nudes, and received many sexually provocative responses. FML
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Top comments
TrinityisLife 22
So you forgot your crystal ball, too, huh? Don't you hate when that happens?
Cristoforo 17
You could have turned his logic back at him and raged at him for should of knowing that you were driving when he sent that text, unsafe. (Again, I know that doesn't make sense but neither does his logic)
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Comments (73)
TrinityisLife 22
So you forgot your crystal ball, too, huh? Don't you hate when that happens?
life_sucks225 13
HA, i like your comment ^
molzipan 16
thumb it up and move along, sir.
BulldogHoops 14
15- Thumb it up and move along, sir.
KrustyKrap 5
39 Ha! I like ur comment
Ins0mau 20
40 - Thumb it up and move along, sir.
slickchrome 11
42- I hate ur comment!
adam3650 12
43 - Thumb it down and move along, sir.
ApollosMyth 22
Squidward - "I hate all of you."
DaftDude 11
54 - Thumb all the comments down and move along, sir.
jojj351 12
walk in to see a bunch of people yelling with thumbs up and down everywhere, "what in God's name did I miss? Why is there a freaking talking squid?"
KawaiiCupcake 14
Not replying is a good idea. Don't text and drive!!
Googolman 29
I see.
kpc2424 13
Ahhh. The joys of sexting...
Cristoforo 17
You could have turned his logic back at him and raged at him for should of knowing that you were driving when he sent that text, unsafe. (Again, I know that doesn't make sense but neither does his logic)
Ian7890 23
or that he should have known that op was going to send him a text when he was showing off his phone
Jharrist89 12
His fault for not warning you. Obviously he should be expecting one back at anytime. His fault.
Chromax 8
On an all new episode of My Psychic Girlfriend…
guitarbeast 22
She's not psychic, mother ******
Chromax 8
What?! Next, you'll be telling me My Psychic Girlfrind isn't even a real show! Anyway, give your mother your regards.
KLeePrice 11
41 was using op's name as a joke. I thought it was rather funny!
AnthonyWheeler15 24
Punch him for being an idiot.
lordslaya53 14
Well you OBVIOUSLY should've known. Unless you actually did know and you were trying to score a threesome
Mmkay1515 21
It's better to be embarrassed than dead.
Chromax 8
You should write eulogies.
lulubelles 33
Or fortune cookies.
mixinitup 12
Yeah, What's wrong with you? You should know better than to not use your psychic visions before texting your boyfriend.