Today, I sent a kinky text message to my boyfriend. Within minutes I got a reply of, "Whoever this is, fuck off and give my girlfriend's phone back." Apparently I'm so bad at writing sexy messages that my boyfriend thought it was a prank from someone who'd stolen my phone. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a text message while driving home. I checked after arriving, and found it was a kinky text from my boyfriend, so I sent him an even kinkier reply. He later raged at me, because I somehow should have known he was showing off his phone to his mom when I sent my reply. FML
Today, I sent a romantic, flirty text to my boyfriend. A few minutes later, I got a reply from… my mom, saying, “I don’t think this was meant for me, but thanks for making my day awkward.” FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML
Today, I thought it would be hot if I sent my boyfriend kinky message. He didn't reply so I sent a few more. 10 minutes later I got a reply saying, "Honey, this is his mom and you should be a little less desperate." FML
Today, my boyfriend renamed all the contacts in my phone to see if I'd notice. Thanks to him, I've been sending dirty texts to my boss. The worst part is my boss was responding back. FML
Today, I was feeling really horny. I decided to send dirty texts to my girlfriend. I sent the first and she didn't reply, so I sent more and more and then I got one back saying 'Stay away from my little girl.' FML
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Today, I got a text from a woman containing many naked pictures of her. Apparently she meant to send those to her boyfriend whose number is one digit from mine. The bad part? My girlfriend was using my phone when I received that message. FML
Today, I wrote a text to the guy I've had a crush on for two years. I typed "hey" and put my phone down, not ready to send it. A little while later, I heard it buzz. The reply said "Um... what?" Apparently my sister had added "I'm a shitty prostitute" to my text and sent it. FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend a sweet text message, since he recently complained that I'm rarely romantic. Instead of being happy, he decided that since it's so out of character for me, I must be cheating on him and must have only sent it out of guilt. FML
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Top comments
marinus_fml 20
It could have been worse. At least you didn't accidentally send it to his father.
khaya 9
You should not start a kinky message with: (a) I'm going to stab you. (b) I am out buying a strap on.
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Comments (141)
massivelyskilled 0
first, and "YDI". Now, tell me what the **** "OP" on fmylife means?!?!! Annoys me so badly!!!!
cloudy01 0
Original post
marinus_fml 20
It means "Obviously Phucked"
hellokat1 0
Practice makes perfect! But seriously, how hard can it be?
mfmylifesrsly 30
I agree. I was really good at it at 13....:/
aussie_gemini 5
you were sending sexual texts at 13?
Hotlanta 5
well we know what #13 going to be like when she gets older hahaha OWNED!
EverybodyHatesCh 0
hahaha!!! owned!!!! ooooooo!!
A7X_LoVeee 10
Looks like Freshpie's is talking from experience.
ydi_4_suking 20
freshpie must be from the era when everyone was sexually frustrated
spearhead 5
you mean THIS era??
xtacticalswarmx 0
*coughhoecough* -.-
xtacticalswarmx 0
#13 That is. sorry for the mixup.
jayalexander 7
dang I wish 13 was around when I was 13!
hellogoodbye1996 6
I was good at it when I was 12 so I guess I beat her.
vistamar 3
That's what she said.
TheWindowLicker 13
Well that all depends on what you're referring to when you say "hard"...giggity
mfmylifesrsly 30
yeah I was, i got pressured into that stuff at 13, hense the :/ face. it was a big mistake that I regret. however I didn't have sex until a few years later
skaterpaige 3
WIN #13!! xD lmao!
SoccerRebel594 0
Skaterpaife, please hush. thank you.
aussie_gemini 5
#83 how on earth are you good at sexting at 13 if 1, your pressured into it and 2, you've never had sex? lol
mfmylifesrsly 30
98 - it's called ****
hellogoodbye1996 6
well 13 I do agree it is a. huge mistake in my life also. I'm waiting till I'm married though to have sex. definitely don't need anymore problems.
aussie_gemini 5
**** pressured you into it? lol
hellogoodbye1996 6
no she was saying she new how to talk dirty because she watched **** and pretty much described what she saw. the boys pressured her into it
Freeze_fml 17
This thread is now about hoes sexting.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Aah, the ol' Freezerburn. It's good to be back.
aussie_gemini 5
thanks for clearing that up 105# 'that awkward moment when someone doesn't get sarcasm'
hellogoodbye1996 6
wow! who even cares! I'm not following this thread anymore I'm just gonna live my life before I lose it like all of you guys have done.
WallyTheWombat 0
Apparently it wasn't that hard since he didn't start sexting back.
xtacticalswarmx 0
Aussie Gemini! win xD
horserider15 3
a few years later wow that's I don't even have the right word to describe that
ScenicSubterfuge 39
No, Chris brown already did
TroII 0
Wow that is sad stick to face to face.
emodude44 0
Don't you mean thighs to thighs?
cassieeeeeee 0
haha
DelilahV 0
At least he stood up for her...
marinus_fml 20
It could have been worse. At least you didn't accidentally send it to his father.
kyanisaurus 0
kuz then it would have been "What time?"
theset3 0
like every other story about bad texting on this site
morgan320 0
I'm pretty sure that OP don't have her boyfriend's father's number on her phone.
Ukeee_X 19
I have my boyfriends mother..
bluegoldfish 7
i have my music teacher on my phone. which makes it pretty awkward when someone steals my phone and mass-texts inappropriate things to all my contacts...:
s3xymoma 1
haha
Riemurasia 0
I had that problem with accidentally sending it to my teacher instead of my ex..
dudeitsdanny 10
Solution: Date your teachers ;P
courtneycookie 18
Or your father
dpaul 0
i agree with #4, that woulda been worse
glitterme 5
what did u say
YacL 15
I don't blame you. Some people are just awkward when it comes to that stuff. But yeah, at least you sent it to the right person.
nickdunbar 8
fail....You need to talk like more them
BellaGoBoom 6
Yeah! What?
Bassmasterclassi 2
less xbox and more reading will help you talk like them.
EatnBeef 7
I just lost 14 IQ points by reading your comment
doom2 8
kinky texts? how about you just say it in person :P
mabusoden 0
you cute. xD
johnson94 5
Woah number 10, it looks like you attract 5 year olds lol
doom2 8
oh shoot! D:
Death_From_Above 0
that kid likes them older women!
MissBunny25 0
25 I have candy... would you like to see that inside of my van? Number 10 will be there. We're going to a pedo's anonymous meeting together >:D
khaya 9
You should not start a kinky message with: (a) I'm going to stab you. (b) I am out buying a strap on.
DboyCorleone 0
This
T3P33_fml 0
that could work on me.. huum... my friend! *looks up while whistling*
enonymous 9
Whoa whoa whoa B is a good thing and A is a good thing only after she says B.
SoccerRebel594 0
31 you make me lol
HeavyMetalViking 0
YDI for using gay **** pickup lines on straight guys.
kyanisaurus 0
"Hey, wanna fist..." Oh god.