Today, my dad watched his first Lord of the Rings marathon. Now he keeps spouting lines from the movies, and thought it'd be funny to hide in my closet, just to jump out at me screaming, "My precious!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my father, who is going through a serious mid-life crisis, walked into my room, told me to "sit the fuck down," and spent the next two hours ranting about how the Lord of the Rings books prophesy the end of the world this December, and that Sauron is an analogy for "corrupt bankers." FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML
Today, I snuck downstairs to watch a midnight movie. One moment I'm trying to plug my headphones in, in the dark, and the next my dad's beating the shit out of me with a baseball bat. Turns out he snuck down after me for a midnight snack and thought I was a burglar disconnecting the TV. FML
Today, I was watching The Ring on TV in the early morning. When the scene where the girl is crawling out of the TV came on, my dad grabbed my shoulders from behind me out of nowhere, causing me to shriek like a little bitch. I don't know how long he waited to do that. FML
Today, my dad bought a one hundred dollar collectible light-saber. He plays with it. In the front yard. With sound effects. FML
Today my boyfriend and my best friend had a very lengthy, detailed conversation about Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit, of which I know nothing about. Once they stopped, I looked at him and smiled, and he responded with, "Why can't you be more like her?" FML
Today, my dad’s best friend, who has been his business associate for the past 28 years, took me to a Star Wars store for my 18th birthday. He put on a Darth Vader helmet, and imitating his voice, said: "I am your father." I laughed. It wasn’t a joke. FML
Today, my dad insisted on having a family movie night. He chose the movies Jaws and Mayday. I'm going on a diving expedition tomorrow. FML
Today, I got my period, and had to rush to my parents' bathroom for some pads. They'd put all our wrapped presents in their bathroom. As I was looking, my dad thought I was opening presents and barged in, only to see me with my pants around my ankles. Now he won't stop laughing. FML
Today, my dad was completely engrossed in a football game on TV, so, trying to be cute and funny, my mom flashed him. He didn't notice, but I did. FML
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Top comments
Cristoforo 17
You have a fun dad
Stormdriven37 6
Awww, you're his precious! That means he's willing to fall into an active volcano for you.
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Comments (74)
Cristoforo 17
You have a fun dad
ilianaaa 8
haha your dad is awesome! hey you really shouldn't complain just because he does a little bit of weird things here and there. I don't even have a relationship with my dad
kenleybunch 15
Hahahah this reminds me of the FMl with the dad who hid in the closet dressed like a clown and jumped out - only that is 50 times scarier
Stormdriven37 6
Awww, you're his precious! That means he's willing to fall into an active volcano for you.
xlord 27
He's also willing to kill his best friend in the world for you.
ironichalibut 24
Yeah, take a note not to get between your dad and any rings in the future..
coversquirrel 8
26- Lets hope he doesn't want to get remarried to someone OP doesn't like then..
MissA7X 11
And start talking to seemingly himself, while starting a good amount of wars over your destruction.
alstbv12 13
Or bite off the guy's finger that's inside you! ...okay... I see the line now.
not_a_robot 15
If he really wanted to make it realistic he could bite off your finger.
bamagrl410 31
But that IS funny... to everyone who isn't you.
Jharrist89 12
Lol, he sounds like a good dad. Consider yourself lucky.
AnthonyWheeler15 24
Haha that's awesome!
mixinitup 12
Not surprised. After I saw the movie for the first time, all I would do for the next hour is crawl on the floor towards my girlfriend saying, "My precious" in Golam's voice.
JACKxRAWR 22
Me and my best friend occasionally start humming/yelling the theme song at each other. Usually mid-class.
Mmkay1515 21
You literally are his precious though!
greatdanen 6
"literally" tho?
gracehi 33
Daaaaaaaw. Your daddy loves you like Gollum loves the Ring of Power. That's a LOT of love. Also LOTR is awesome. That is all.
Rianokami 22
Funny! He loves you though. :)