Today, while half asleep, I dipped my finger in ketchup instead of a fry, and bit down on it so hard I needed stitches. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I accidentally bit so hard on my fork that I cracked my tooth. FML
Today, while brushing my teeth half asleep, I stabbed myself in the eye with my toothbrush, toothpaste included. FML
Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML
Today, I went to the dentist. She put a spongy thing on my teeth and told me to bite. Her finger was there, so I was confused and… I accidentally bit her finger. FML
Today, while observing a surgery, I was asked to open a glass ampule of adrenaline. Not only did I break it and get it everywhere, I sliced open my thumb bad enough to need stitches. FML
Today, I was eating a bag of chips when one of the pieces broke off into a sharp point and when I chewed it, it stabbed into my gums. When I got up to wash the blood out of my mouth, I hit my big toe on my desk corner. FML
Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML
Today, at the orthodontist, the nurse was checking my teeth. She asked me a question while her finger was in my mouth, and when I stupidly tried to reply, I bit her finger. FML
Today, while grabbing a husk of corn out of the boiling hot pot, I splashed hot water on my neck, dropped the corn on my injured toe, and cut myself on the counters, all while my family laughed at my pain. FML
Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML
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Top comments
Anika_09 17
I bet the ER staff loved the story...
MossyMegaMan 20
How, why... And also how??
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Comments (43)
MossyMegaMan 20
How, why... And also how??
mds9986 24
He was tired.
SpyroMello 29
Everyone has the capability to bite their finger that hard, it's our brain that restricts us from doing it though.
liebe123110 29
I've been told it takes the same amount of strength to bite through a carrot as it would to bite through your pinky finger. But the brain stops you from doing it.
kingdomgirl94 29
I'm going to go ahead and assume finals were behind this one. I've been that tired after a nasty exam or a super long essay.
ChristianH39 30
Apparently it was the "don't bite your own finger" half of OPs brain that was asleep.
cj89898 24
#27 Could you say his brain was... Fried? (I'll show myself out)
Delta_0DST 12
#52, the door is right over there. Have a nice day.
popularonion 33
Could you not feel the ketchup on your finger? And, even half asleep, how did you not realize you weren't holding a fry, but instead lifting your finger up to your mouth??
trollcrusher 17
You're trying to look at this rationally. Sleep deprived people aren't often rational, believe it or not. You don't think they were actually hungry for their finger, do you?
domolovesyoshi 33
Rationality does not come into the equation when you're sleep deprived.
Nygma 14
Are you new here? By that I mean new to living as a human being as a whole.
Anika_09 17
I bet the ER staff loved the story...
mariah_1_11 22
what the hell kind of fries were you eating that you thought it required that much force to eat?!
ALittleFreak 15
Or just super hungry trying to shove food in as fast as possible.
naviajack626 16
Then she'd probably be shoving more than one fry in her mouth.
ALittleFreak 15
Good point #14.
soulreaper12296 28
You do know that it takes the same amount of force to bite through a carrot to bite through a finger? The only thing able to stop you from doing so are your pain receptors. So it wouldn't be that hard to bite yourself and cause enough damage to where you'd need stitches; especially when sleep deprived like OP.
brezzyanna 17
You're right,not isn't hard to bite through your finger. But it takes much more force to bite a carrot than a French fry. French fries barely need to be chewed.
katykills 15
My daughter decided to put her fingers in my mouth when I was talking one time and I bit her fairly hard just because I was talking. If you don't think you're putting a finger in your mouth (yours or otherwise) your brain won't tell you to hold back. My daughter didn't need stitches but she cried a lot haha. It's all in your head.
emeraldisle 30
I hope you enjoy telling that story to people. lol
vas25 13
Untold stories of the ER
agghhh 7
what were you doing eating half asleep? haha
amourmourant 18
I have a friend who brings chips with her to bed and will eat them throughout the night when she wakes up on and off.
kingdomgirl94 29
If I did that I would get so fat so fast...
mylsux 15
Well you DO use the same Amount of force to bite a carrot so that makes sense
brezzyanna 17
You don't need that much force to bite a fry though
FacesOfHumanity 14
I don't get how one can mess up that badly.
BDanzeisen 20
What fries are you eating that require you to bite down that hard?
mliajkfml 15
I know, right? I'm starting to (x) doubt.