Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to sneak into the shower at her house while her parents went out to eat and a movie. Half way through our shower we heard a knocking at the door, it was her mom. We had left all of our clothes downstairs. Safe to say I won't be allowed there any more. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house. When things started heating up, I heard the front door open and my girlfriend said that it must be her Dad. She handed me my clothes, pushed me out the window, and told me to knock at the front door. Her Dad answered, holding my shoes. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got caught doing it in her parents' bed by her mom. Instead of making me leave, they forced me to stay for dinner. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated. We lost track of time, because the next thing we knew, my dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML
Today, I had dinner at my girlfriend's house with her parents. Everything was going great, until after dinner when her dad pulled me aside and told me he'd heard us having sex. I was out of town all weekend for a baseball tournament. FML
Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML
Today, I was sneaking over to my girlfriend's house. I sent her mother a text message thinking it was my girlfriend saying "There's a stalker coming in to make you his play mate ;]" Unfortunately when I got to her window I was greeted by her dad with a bat. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house, and her dad saw us. She decided that she didn't feel like riding along when it was time for her dad to drive me home, and went to bed. I, on the other hand, got to have a 15-minute conversation about the merits of "physical boundaries." FML
Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house. She'd told me not to ring the doorbell and just come in so that I wouldn't wake her dad up. As I walked upstairs, her father walked out of the bathroom naked. We locked eyes. I can't get the image out of my head. FML
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Top comments
raycj 1
I bet he'll make sure you won't be walking after that comment!
EverestMelting 23
You in trouble! Run forest!
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Comments (116)
Ozuru 11
At least he didn't shoot you. Mid thrust.
license2chill 5
You'd better hope that he doesn't have a shotgun
gadgetmaster 10
Deer in headlights moment
happle 21
You called?
mykelinva 4
How did you get away with a fit in your mouth?
howdeedoo 22
Did you mean fist? And OP never said that he got away
gracehi 33
"... And then he punched me in the face. FML"
Denny1 15
Ouch
maz95 17
I don't think her dad would've left you able to do anything after that!
wsdarrah 14
This kind of reminds me of the one FML where the OP whispered, "Who's your Daddy?" while him and his girlfriend were having sex on the sofa and behind him, her dad says, "I am." Ah, this is funny. Made my day, OP. :)
yohooooooo 5
And the one where the girlfriend thought she was yelling out to her boyfriend "damn babe could you not find the hole? I'm covered in cum!" and then turns it out it was her dad coming up the stairs.
ironhead_fml 20
Need a proctologist to get that ketchup bottle out of your a$$ ?
jdm_powered 6
And after your balls rose to your face, then what'd he do?