Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to sneak into the shower at her house while her parents went out to eat and a movie. Half way through our shower we heard a knocking at the door, it was her mom. We had left all of our clothes downstairs. Safe to say I won't be allowed there any more. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house. When things started heating up, I heard the front door open and my girlfriend said that it must be her Dad. She handed me my clothes, pushed me out the window, and told me to knock at the front door. Her Dad answered, holding my shoes. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got caught doing it in her parents' bed by her mom. Instead of making me leave, they forced me to stay for dinner. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated. We lost track of time, because the next thing we knew, my dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML
Today, I had dinner at my girlfriend's house with her parents. Everything was going great, until after dinner when her dad pulled me aside and told me he'd heard us having sex. I was out of town all weekend for a baseball tournament. FML
Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML
Today, I was sneaking over to my girlfriend's house. I sent her mother a text message thinking it was my girlfriend saying "There's a stalker coming in to make you his play mate ;]" Unfortunately when I got to her window I was greeted by her dad with a bat. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house, and her dad saw us. She decided that she didn't feel like riding along when it was time for her dad to drive me home, and went to bed. I, on the other hand, got to have a 15-minute conversation about the merits of "physical boundaries." FML
Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house. She'd told me not to ring the doorbell and just come in so that I wouldn't wake her dad up. As I walked upstairs, her father walked out of the bathroom naked. We locked eyes. I can't get the image out of my head. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
raycj 1
I bet he'll make sure you won't be walking after that comment!
EverestMelting 23
You in trouble! Run forest!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (116)
perdix 31
And then he said, "You talk a good game, . . ." turned around, bent over and continued, "but, you're gonna have to prove it, cowboy!"
Tavers 19
You've always got the best comments, Perdix
hannnahmarie 14
Hah oh my..,
ConnyTheUnicorn 8
Of course you mean that she hurt her little toe at some furniture. You should have said that. :D Actually, saying things like 'didn't think you'd be walking after that' is just not appropriate, even for your girlfriend.
Carmstro 13
Inappropriate? They just had sex!
False_Stupidity 42
GF probably has ninja parents who only said they would be out of town to see what their daughter gets up to when she thinks they aren't there and her dad was hiding in the closet all along watching the whole thing.
BurningGrannies 16
somehow, I found myself amused at the thought of a man poking a fridge
nycwrestler 17
You deserved it for thinking you were that good at sex.
starsfan_9 7
Not necessarily a good lover, just a violent and debilitating lover
nycwrestler 17
Some people would say that makes you good
spikekutter 9
i doubt your dick is that big to make it hard for her to walk after you had sex..
pheebs314 17
Sometimes its hard to walk after a really intense ******...? But he's probably talking up his junk.
bubo_fml 11
That's when ya look at 'im right in the eye, drop trow, swing it around like a mag light & say, "That's right daddy-o, you recognize that scent o' salmon?" Go out big, young man!
barefootchic 6
...why on earth would you purposely aggravate and already angered man?
amara92_fml 10
Lmfaaoooo damn
vbmg152 19
You're lucky it wasn't me! I'm a Mom not a Dad but, I've got great aim with a pistol! If it had been me, you wouldn't be alive to post this FML! Consider yourself lucky! Get your own place!
GhostChickens 17
Although it's highly unlikely that the dad will have a pistol, i wonder if he still has a weapon of some sort? My dad kept a cricket bat and a shovel in the kitchen. I don't think he'd actually use them, but I didn't bring anyone home, just in case. My friend's dad was a builder. When she brought home her first boyfriend, he showed him all the tools he had in the creepiest way possible. Nobody likes people messing with their kids.