Today, I had dinner at my girlfriend's house with her parents. Everything was going great, until after dinner when her dad pulled me aside and told me he'd heard us having sex. I was out of town all weekend for a baseball tournament. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend's parents walked in on us having sex. Not only did her dad make me walk out to my truck with no clothes on, he is my baseball coach and I will be seeing him on Monday. FML
Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML
Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got caught doing it in her parents' bed by her mom. Instead of making me leave, they forced me to stay for dinner. FML
Today, while having dinner, my boyfriend decided to tell everyone about our sex life. It wouldn't have been too bad except my father was sitting right next to me. My boyfriend's excuse was that he wanted to make my dad laugh. He didn't laugh. FML
Today, I walked in on my dad's poker game. He didn't know I was there, and was telling his friends what he would do to my girlfriend if I wasn't dating her. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated. We lost track of time, because the next thing we knew, my dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML
Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house for dinner. Her parents seemed upset, so I tried to lighten the mood by saying, "Hey, at least the weekend is coming up and you guys won't have to go to work." Apparently, they were upset because they both got laid off from their jobs today. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house, and her dad saw us. She decided that she didn't feel like riding along when it was time for her dad to drive me home, and went to bed. I, on the other hand, got to have a 15-minute conversation about the merits of "physical boundaries." FML
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Top comments
SPC117 5
Instead of "DUMP THAT *****" I'm going to go with a more elegant "ditch that bitch"
savona01 7
That sucks! It happen to me....with my wife! While I was out of town for Training...
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Comments (237)
savona01 7
That sucks! It happen to me....with my wife! While I was out of town for Training...
Adollable 0
She must be terminated.
bitchslapped22 14
Perhaps she was....flicking the bean?
nalia18 8
Im sorry but why would our dad know what you sound like during sex?
kayleigh12 0
Haha 17, the Ugly Truth!
mozeltov 7
Why the possessive 18?
Isoldael 27
17 - I think most people can distinguish sex noises from other sounds, and why would dad assume his daughter was having sex with anyone other than her boyfriend?
mozeltov 7
I swear to god it was 18 when I posted, not 17
ngarcia333 0
Have you ever heard anyone having sex? Come on? Was she doing her eyebrows? Please!
MatthewDmerrill 5
Sorry to hear that
natskie 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
#1- That really sucks!! What a female dog! FYL
linkinpark98 24
The word Bitch will do just fine here. ;)
keepmeonthedl 7
77 - Your dress is absolutely gorgeous.
graham11 14
OP, dump that selfish bitch. You deserve much better than that!!
Jaimegirl 7
Kind of weird that he would tell you rather than his own daughter...
theblackishkid1 6
Well... It's time for someone's ass to be kicked.
natskie 7
103- Thanks :)
natskie 7
82- I know.... But I just didn't want to say it that way... If that's ok with you :P
spazz666 18
21, I believe that 17** probably meant to say *your* which, since it was HER father and not his, would still be incorrect.... But I thought I'd share my thoughts.
MrSparton1337 0
Your picture goes so well with your comment. Lol.
datoismyname 22
Aww that sucks bro.
Lanceeden 12
Tell him it was the dog.
angrymexican 8
I glanced at it and saw sex tournament.
ducttapewallet 7
Doesn't matter, thinks you had sex.
justaredcarrot 6
Sorry about that OP :-/
lifesucks1234567_fml 2
Jesus op break up with her right now
FalconCrunch 4
The snozzberries taste like snozzberries!
caranina 15
damn shes a playa ;)
geege1992 3
I'd play you ;)
Freeze_fml 17
15 will get you 20.
chane1100 6
creeper alert!!!
murdersquirrel 15
Comments deleted!!!
IndigoAcrylic 9
Bitch please! IF GUYS CAN BE CALLED PLAYAS SO CAN GIRLS! And if girls can be *****...So can guys ^_^ Lalalala
lolman222 0
Sweet! I love equality!! 53 - I bet you're a girl looking for a gentleman too? You killed them all. You want equal, you get equal. Guys aren't girly to other guys. We play rough, so if you want equal, get ready to play rough and stop bitching and moaning about gentlemen. You're not going to find one, and that's a fact!
ambamm135 7
73 not true my boyfriend is quite the gentlemen and no I don't demand it. I am great full when he opens doors for me but sometimes I do it for him why? Because I'm fully capable of treating just as kindly as he treats me. I believe in equality and I try my best to live that way as well.
eln3mo13 8
Go on YouTube and look up JerryLaVigneJr - can a man be a ****. Answers all questions raised here
ty1992_farmlife 12
#4- I hope that's your sarcasm you put as your response?
graham11 14
Damn you are way too young to be half naked in your profile picture..
pilotoenrique 0
Ya think?
Im_Adopted91 3
111- Agreed.
skeezle 0
I don't even care about this convo...I just wanna know how the girl who posted the original comment is still 15?! Look at her!! Now argue about that!
topie_fml 6
178) dude don't pedo bear please.
ArchxAngel 9
I Think I'm A Gentleman. A Girl Just Hasn't Had The Chance To Find Out On What They're Missing. Girls Say They Want Gentlemen, But They Still Go For The Bad Boys. When They Get Hurt, They Still Love Them. Then They Say They're Done With Bad Boys, & Get Together With Another Bad Boy. It's Just A Cycle Girls Go Through. (PS: Sorry I Type Like This. I'm On My Phone, So I Type Faster In Capital Letters. )
SPC117 5
Instead of "DUMP THAT *****" I'm going to go with a more elegant "ditch that bitch"
thiscrazything 1
Loose that flooze
iliketurdles 7
Kick da hoe out da door.
forthepainx3 0
push the bitch out of a moving car
spiderman2211 0
C-c-c-combo breaker
ikickgingers 15
95... What the bloody ****?
flockz 20
only if she's a virgin gingers.
ikickgingers 15
He wants to kick me. :(
CryMoreFMLs 15
I'll shield you kicky! *Hulk flex* Haha Just messin'. Bitch is just jealous if your success.
EnEl_Infierno 15
Tap her then slap her.
morgan320 0
Fish her up then swiss her off.
spazz666 18
60, Why? Do you not like gardening?
omgcookeys 15
Nail 'em and bail 'em.
FrenchToast94 0
#41, they were all supposed to rhyme. You killed it just a little bit.
cheerxoxo84 8
umm... aquard...
Sinamoi 18
That is the most horrific spelling of the word "awkward" I have ever seen in my life.
ipodlover1995 0
Aquard - when awkward situations happen under water.
lustheart 7
Win^
ty1992_farmlife 12
Dad found out before before him... Damn that sucks.
graham11 14
49- one time, I dove into the water and it was so aquard because my bikini bottoms came loose.
leogirl95 12
6- How old are you, 9? Lol
ohmandapants 17
^ I think that makes it worse
spazz666 18
What I don't understand is why a 14 year old is on a website like this.
ducttapewallet 7
You do know that the good majority of people in the USA look at this site daily right? Anyone with a computer, or an iPad/iPhone. Everyone.
fuzzy4msymba 0
Damn that sucks! Feel sorry for you :(
marthagayo 14
Confront her! In front of her parents. That is just not cool
drewnewton 0
make a very awkward confrontation like at dinner with your parents OP
graham11 14
And while at the family dinner, OP should ask his girlfriend how her weekend was while he was at the baseball tournament.
ShyAnn29 15
He could say "So, what did you do this weekend while I was away at my tournament? Have any fun?"
graham11 14
That awkward moment...
radiocaf 29
More like "who did you do this weekend?"
killak41 9
Well atleast somebody made it around all the bases.
melissafleming 7
awkward!!
bobbycorwen 5
Aquard*