Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated. We lost track of time, because the next thing we knew, my dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I brought my boyfriend home, and I introduced him to my parents. Afterwards, I took him to my room so we could have some "bonding" time. Right as things got pretty intense, I heard my dad yell, "Stop faking, honey." FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents. My dad thought it'd be hilarious to act surprised and ask me if I'd already dumped the girlfriend I introduced him to yesterday. She slapped me and stormed out of the house before my dad could tell her it was a joke. FML
Today, my girlfriend threw me on the couch as I walked in the door. I butt dialed my mom in the process. My girlfriend took off my pants and we got to business. After about 30 seconds of hearing what was going on, my mom thought something was wrong and called the cops to my apartment. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it, I whispered in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I then heard behind me, "I am." FML
Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML
Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML
Today, I had my girlfriend over after my wife went to work. She looked so sexy in her outfit, I couldn’t resist. I ripped her clothes off and began to do her on my couch… until I heard my daughter’s voice asking, “Dad, who’s that?” Apparently, she was home sick from school. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus." FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
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Top comments
starbucksguy 16
Harsh...but come on, how much did you pay?
shift_love 13
Ahhhh dear old dad. Always love to make a mockery of his sons sex life.
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Comments (92)
starbucksguy 16
Harsh...but come on, how much did you pay?
AwkwardPartyBear 24
Oh boy, let the comments with random prices begin.
starbucksguy 16
Let's start the bidding at £40...
Drigr 9
My only question isn't how much, but did they like have the window open or was she just screaming like a banshee? At least in the houses I've been in, the livingroom is connected to the door or entryway.
Awes0meperson 10
Ya but the living room is where everyone hangs out, so he might have seen them, and then decided to burst in to be funny.
Colonel_Lexi 18
...then OP said, "$700, with your credit card!"
tjv3 10
Hahahaha your dad is funny
shift_love 13
Ahhhh dear old dad. Always love to make a mockery of his sons sex life.
ihaveFMLfeverr 5
Old Greg why are you on here
dazzyboy 1
I would have told him to either join in or piss off!
Awes0meperson 10
So let me get this straight… you would want your dad to join in on you and your girlfriend having sex? Thats a little weird…
Girlybanana 2
25- the ****? That is wrong on so many levels
dazzyboy 1
what's wrong with that? the family that plays together, stays together
Colonel_Lexi 18
44-Remind me to never ever go to your family reunions
ladyLALAA 29
But what about the boat times? That wasn't a time it was more of an exposure, wasn't it, really?
GregFML 21
my name is greg...
SabyLuvsYuu 1
Seriously, how much?
FMLsAreAwesome 0
Original.
LightningCactus 12
He paid her in Chuck-E-Cheese Tokens.
shannonreneee 11
23, the first three comments were submitted pretty much at the same time. So her comment was original, just missed out by a millisecond or so.
starbucksguy 16
In fairness, this appeared at the exact same time as my comment...great minds think alike apparently...or fools seldom differ. Whatever floats your boat...
MysticKnight 3
You fools have great minds. What happens if nothing floats my boat?
starbucksguy 16
Then you're gonna start sinking, my friend
Minna_fml 14
Made my day, thank you kind sir.
Abdul888 16
He gave her chocolate, then they started playing ps. Guys you know what I mean ;)
starbucksguy 16
Pokemon silver?
kevinn95 0
Play station ;D
ebdeadaccount 11
Well it seems like someone needs to learn how to use a lock on a door
SweetlyPsycho 4
No! Someone needs to learn how to have sex in their room.
ebdeadaccount 11
Good point, someone needs to learn to have sex in their locked bedroom Btw awesome profile pic
Achall91 17
Even if he had locked the door it wouldn't matter because the dad probably had a key considering it is his house and all. There wouldn't have been a problem if the son and his girlfriend were in his room with the door locked instead of the living room.
charlesPscene 4
Loserville?
Pentium_4 27
at least he has a sense of humor. he was your age once, so he understands!
mike3775 39
exactly. A good sense of humor.
KiddNYC1O 22
He's thinking "That's my boy."
minesbiggerr 25
#34 more "shit how much did he use this time?"
blcksocks 19
You could say "more than what you paid to get yours". No wait, that would be saying shit about your mom..
vintage3113 6
Maybe not
MidnaLink 35
21 actually it would... just saying
gracehi 33
Just don't pull a "Secret Service" on her and you should be fine. :)
emeraldisle 30
I love parents with a sense of humour.
lopsop 12
That's better that wtf are you doing?
Pogox 5
Than, idiot.
lopsop 12
Thank you
TheMathMajor 26
While you should be glad your dad has a sense of humor, his comment was a little rude towards your girlfriend :/
cayytee 0
or she could just laugh too i know i would if my bfs dad did that. or she could take it as shes really pretty : )
TheMathMajor 26
Either way he's calling her a prostitute. I wouldn't like it.
Barr3lR0ll 9
14 your profile pic is awesome.