Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I turned in an overdue English assignment at college. My instructor accused me of plagiarism, writing that my sentence structure was "TO" good. Seriously? FML
Today, I was replacing some outlets for work and I got surprise-electrified. I threw my wire strippers in the air while yelling, "Oh fuck me." The homeowner and his 2 kids were standing 3 feet away. He was not happy. FML
Today, my son still sticks his fingers in plug sockets, cuts charging cables for devices, licks batteries and so on, because he enjoys the electric shocks, he thinks they are funny so I can’t even trust him when he sleeps at night, in case he wakes up while we’re asleep and does something stupid. FML
Today, I found out that my son thinks it's acceptable to use words like "on fleek" in high school level essays. FML
Today, my son admitted that he worked out how to make a fuse in my house's fusebox blow, by turning on all the appliances and lights in the house at once. He's done it three days in a row because when the lights go out, I 'scream and act like Donald Duck, but with swearing' and it's hilarious. FML
Today, a student's parent yelled at me because they had to pay for school equipment their son had stolen from my desk. Apparently, it's my fault because the item was just too tempting for him not to steal. FML
Today, in the class I'm teaching, I assigned my students an essay to complete for homework. One student asked me if I was deducting points for bad spelling. I teach English. FML
Today, my son's school called to inform me that I had to come pick him up, as he was caught vandalising. What shenanigans had he gotten up to? Writing "Epstein didn't kill himself" on various desks and walls around the school. I'm not sure if I should applaud the sentiment, or be annoyed that he got caught. FML
Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML
Today, I gave my son a bollocking for losing a very important paper that I needed for work. I've just found it in my right pocket. FML
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Top comments
PoptartsKid 13
Be amused, that kid knows what's up; don't trust outlets... I wouldn't date one
puzzy 13
You know that can also be said the other way around. Clever kid.
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Comments (88)
keiNan_fml 35
your son really knows how to make study interesting.... i guess it helps him to memorise
Saraishi 25
Amused in private, furious when he's around.
tnlander 20
How is this even an FML? You have a bright kid who see symbology in inanimate objects and expresses it in poetry. Don't whine about your son celebrate him.
TrixieKiddo 8
Typical boy to start thinking dirty thoughts when they see any sort of "hole" .
The_Appendix_ 13
I see why you're single.
LetMeSleepPlease 23
It seems pretty harmless to me? It seems like a joke. Unless your son is too young to be writing something like that, in which case I imagine the teacher would've contacted you, it doesn't seem to be a big deal.
demonfacee 14
Damn, your son's good at this stuff. He should be a poet.
more4me 27
Amused. Definitely amused. Let's face it, the kid makes a good point! :)
diving_fml 30
a shocking point
HarshD9619 34
That is simply... shocking
infamous32300 5
Be proud
shredzone 5
The correct terms are actually "male" and "female" connectors. From a technical point of view, your son isn't that wrong... :-)