Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I turned in an overdue English assignment at college. My instructor accused me of plagiarism, writing that my sentence structure was "TO" good. Seriously? FML
Today, I was replacing some outlets for work and I got surprise-electrified. I threw my wire strippers in the air while yelling, "Oh fuck me." The homeowner and his 2 kids were standing 3 feet away. He was not happy. FML
Today, my son still sticks his fingers in plug sockets, cuts charging cables for devices, licks batteries and so on, because he enjoys the electric shocks, he thinks they are funny so I can’t even trust him when he sleeps at night, in case he wakes up while we’re asleep and does something stupid. FML
Today, I found out that my son thinks it's acceptable to use words like "on fleek" in high school level essays. FML
Today, my son admitted that he worked out how to make a fuse in my house's fusebox blow, by turning on all the appliances and lights in the house at once. He's done it three days in a row because when the lights go out, I 'scream and act like Donald Duck, but with swearing' and it's hilarious. FML
Today, a student's parent yelled at me because they had to pay for school equipment their son had stolen from my desk. Apparently, it's my fault because the item was just too tempting for him not to steal. FML
Today, in the class I'm teaching, I assigned my students an essay to complete for homework. One student asked me if I was deducting points for bad spelling. I teach English. FML
Today, my son's school called to inform me that I had to come pick him up, as he was caught vandalising. What shenanigans had he gotten up to? Writing "Epstein didn't kill himself" on various desks and walls around the school. I'm not sure if I should applaud the sentiment, or be annoyed that he got caught. FML
Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML
Today, I gave my son a bollocking for losing a very important paper that I needed for work. I've just found it in my right pocket. FML
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Top comments
PoptartsKid 13
Be amused, that kid knows what's up; don't trust outlets... I wouldn't date one
puzzy 13
You know that can also be said the other way around. Clever kid.
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Comments (88)
guinea_pigs 9
I wonder what grade he got? English teachers never appreciate true creativity anymore!
worldclassrager 41
Creative...
Frenchtony 17
Those are pure allegations. I've known some outlets that stayed all there life with the same device, what about the dishwasher or your fridge. Weren't they in a way happily married decent people !? Let the one who have never sinned throw the first stone !
ohSNAPyall 27
^ Cleverest point in this whole comments section.
Sir_Fox 14
I would have shown it to him, then high-five him
Nessco 36
maybe it was meant to be a satirical piece.
vikky538 29
he is a out of box thinker..
HeartYou101 31
Why would you be furious though?
hk1998 8
Thats funny and creative, but if he hasnt handed the assignment in yet dont let him because I dont think a teacher would be as amused by the language he used.
ZoroMiHawk 25
indeed, he should change the word '*****' to 'escort' instead.
hk1998 8
How about the word prostitute instead?
MzZombicidal 36
#57, because the would add two extra syllables. Though, escort would also be adding one extra syllable. I'm sure OP's son could work around it, though! :P
humor_9 3
this kid is going places
ZoroMiHawk 25
yeah but you're not going anywhere if you keep repeating that cliche.
141cohanj 7
You should be proud