Today, my son's school called to inform me that I had to come pick him up, as he was caught vandalising. What shenanigans had he gotten up to? Writing "Epstein didn't kill himself" on various desks and walls around the school. I'm not sure if I should applaud the sentiment, or be annoyed that he got caught. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year-old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML
Today, my 14 year old son got suspended and I had to pay for the damage after he sprayed "FUCK THE POLICE" on the back wall of his school. I'm a policeman. FML
Today, I had to pick my son up from school after he beat the crap out of another student. The words that made him go nuts were apparently, "You mad, bro?" FML
Today, I saw some pretty heinous graffiti on the urinal stall at school, so I opted to scribble it out. A supervisor came in the second the pen touched the stall. Now I have detention and have to scrub the entire stall clean as a "lesson". FML
Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML
Today, a student's parent yelled at me because they had to pay for school equipment their son had stolen from my desk. Apparently, it's my fault because the item was just too tempting for him not to steal. FML
Today, my six-year-old son called to say he was suspended from school for drawing some “pretty flowers.” Confused as to why that would warrant punishment, I took a look and they were swastikas. He’s inconsolable. FML
Today, I was called by my son's school to pick him up. Apparently, he snorted baking soda, crushed aspirin, and flour because he thought it was coke. Where did I go wrong raising this twerp? FML
Today, my 9-year-old son decided honesty is the best policy and to never lie again. And by that, I mean he's decided to go ahead and blurt out every mean comment he can think of. In one school day, he made 6 kids cry, was punched by 4 other kids, was reprimanded by 3 teachers, and was uninvited to a birthday party. FML
Today, I learned my son has been picking on a girl he has a crush on. He apparently went too far, because she finally snapped and beat him up at recess. The teacher, who knew about this from the beginning and actively did nothing, is trying to throw me under the bus for being oblivious to my son's behavior. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Trump supporters would have you believe that Epstein killed himself. Between the many photos of Trump and Epstein together, his behavior at teen beauty pageants and his "grab 'em by the pussy" remark, it doesn't take a wild imagination to think that Epstein knew some shit about Trump.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
The Epstein didn't kill himself meme is pretty apolitical. Trump supporters claim it was the Clintons. Clinton's supporters claim it was Trump who then did the same trick you do after an extremely smelly fart, and quickly blamed someone else. Everyone else doesn't say who did it. Just that it's pretty obvious someone did.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (3)
RichardPencil 32
He was not vandalizing ... he was spreading truth. He was murdered by Trump. Epstein had the dirt on him and after not getting a pardon, there was nothing keeping him from spilling the beans.
The_Real_Cvh 10
Yes there was. That little thing called his death
Jon Tessler 14
you raised a kid who believes in conspiracy theories. you must be a trump supporter....the dumb doesn't fall far from the tree.
RichardPencil 32
Trump supporters would have you believe that Epstein killed himself. Between the many photos of Trump and Epstein together, his behavior at teen beauty pageants and his "grab 'em by the pussy" remark, it doesn't take a wild imagination to think that Epstein knew some shit about Trump.
Thaylok 17
Actually, they would say the Clinton's had Epstien killed. Maybe it was the Queen? Meh, politicians all suck.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
The Epstein didn't kill himself meme is pretty apolitical. Trump supporters claim it was the Clintons. Clinton's supporters claim it was Trump who then did the same trick you do after an extremely smelly fart, and quickly blamed someone else. Everyone else doesn't say who did it. Just that it's pretty obvious someone did.
spinningrecords 14
Wow, you taught him well. Unfortunately, the school had nothing to do with the conspiracy but has a mess to clean up because of your passed on views.