Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I turned in an overdue English assignment at college. My instructor accused me of plagiarism, writing that my sentence structure was "TO" good. Seriously? FML
Today, I was replacing some outlets for work and I got surprise-electrified. I threw my wire strippers in the air while yelling, "Oh fuck me." The homeowner and his 2 kids were standing 3 feet away. He was not happy. FML
Today, my son still sticks his fingers in plug sockets, cuts charging cables for devices, licks batteries and so on, because he enjoys the electric shocks, he thinks they are funny so I can’t even trust him when he sleeps at night, in case he wakes up while we’re asleep and does something stupid. FML
Today, I found out that my son thinks it's acceptable to use words like "on fleek" in high school level essays. FML
Today, my son admitted that he worked out how to make a fuse in my house's fusebox blow, by turning on all the appliances and lights in the house at once. He's done it three days in a row because when the lights go out, I 'scream and act like Donald Duck, but with swearing' and it's hilarious. FML
Today, a student's parent yelled at me because they had to pay for school equipment their son had stolen from my desk. Apparently, it's my fault because the item was just too tempting for him not to steal. FML
Today, in the class I'm teaching, I assigned my students an essay to complete for homework. One student asked me if I was deducting points for bad spelling. I teach English. FML
Today, my son's school called to inform me that I had to come pick him up, as he was caught vandalising. What shenanigans had he gotten up to? Writing "Epstein didn't kill himself" on various desks and walls around the school. I'm not sure if I should applaud the sentiment, or be annoyed that he got caught. FML
Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML
Today, I gave my son a bollocking for losing a very important paper that I needed for work. I've just found it in my right pocket. FML
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Top comments
PoptartsKid 13
Be amused, that kid knows what's up; don't trust outlets... I wouldn't date one
puzzy 13
You know that can also be said the other way around. Clever kid.
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Comments (88)
missmootoyou 4
Be furious he didn't use the correct term, and just offended many people who use sex work as a source of income..
Red_Rising 13
That's honestly pretty clever
cm1995_fml 10
Why tf would you be mad? It's just an inanimate object he's talking about, and if it was a person he was writing about, then you wouldn't have a reason to be mad either, because he would be correct in saying that that person is a wh*re.
joshi42 16
Think of it. Your son is writing haiku. You should proud.
invisibleFlower 10
Be amused lol
tysonx23 4
it depends how old the kid is.
Thorvald22 17
What reason do you have to be furious? His flourishing creativity obviously didn't cone from you...
False_Stupidity 42
I'd be amused as he is definitely creative, but I don't know that his teacher will be as open minded. It all depends on what kind of teacher he has.
diving_fml 30
amused
LightningSFX 9
Depends on if his teacher has a sense of humor.