Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I turned in an overdue English assignment at college. My instructor accused me of plagiarism, writing that my sentence structure was "TO" good. Seriously? FML
Today, I was replacing some outlets for work and I got surprise-electrified. I threw my wire strippers in the air while yelling, "Oh fuck me." The homeowner and his 2 kids were standing 3 feet away. He was not happy. FML
Today, my son still sticks his fingers in plug sockets, cuts charging cables for devices, licks batteries and so on, because he enjoys the electric shocks, he thinks they are funny so I can’t even trust him when he sleeps at night, in case he wakes up while we’re asleep and does something stupid. FML
Today, I found out that my son thinks it's acceptable to use words like "on fleek" in high school level essays. FML
Today, my son admitted that he worked out how to make a fuse in my house's fusebox blow, by turning on all the appliances and lights in the house at once. He's done it three days in a row because when the lights go out, I 'scream and act like Donald Duck, but with swearing' and it's hilarious. FML
Today, a student's parent yelled at me because they had to pay for school equipment their son had stolen from my desk. Apparently, it's my fault because the item was just too tempting for him not to steal. FML
Today, in the class I'm teaching, I assigned my students an essay to complete for homework. One student asked me if I was deducting points for bad spelling. I teach English. FML
Today, my son's school called to inform me that I had to come pick him up, as he was caught vandalising. What shenanigans had he gotten up to? Writing "Epstein didn't kill himself" on various desks and walls around the school. I'm not sure if I should applaud the sentiment, or be annoyed that he got caught. FML
Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML
Today, I gave my son a bollocking for losing a very important paper that I needed for work. I've just found it in my right pocket. FML
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Top comments
PoptartsKid 13
Be amused, that kid knows what's up; don't trust outlets... I wouldn't date one
puzzy 13
You know that can also be said the other way around. Clever kid.
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Comments (88)
AndronicusPark 10
Amused.
JDT747 1
Why get mad it's funny
JudgeComrade 17
Be proud.
fmlsams 27
That's fantastic. Be proud of your creative and clearly free-thinking son!
Rammer3500 23
Thats genius...
IHaveThePower 18
And this is when we break out the nice, long lecture about why women are not '******' no matter how many people they sleep with, and it's not appropriate to call anyone names for having sex. The *long* lecture. That involves PowerPoint. (Never used PowerPoint on my own, but it made a decent implied threat...)