Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I turned in an overdue English assignment at college. My instructor accused me of plagiarism, writing that my sentence structure was "TO" good. Seriously? FML
Today, I was replacing some outlets for work and I got surprise-electrified. I threw my wire strippers in the air while yelling, "Oh fuck me." The homeowner and his 2 kids were standing 3 feet away. He was not happy. FML
Today, my son still sticks his fingers in plug sockets, cuts charging cables for devices, licks batteries and so on, because he enjoys the electric shocks, he thinks they are funny so I can’t even trust him when he sleeps at night, in case he wakes up while we’re asleep and does something stupid. FML
Today, I found out that my son thinks it's acceptable to use words like "on fleek" in high school level essays. FML
Today, my son admitted that he worked out how to make a fuse in my house's fusebox blow, by turning on all the appliances and lights in the house at once. He's done it three days in a row because when the lights go out, I 'scream and act like Donald Duck, but with swearing' and it's hilarious. FML
Today, a student's parent yelled at me because they had to pay for school equipment their son had stolen from my desk. Apparently, it's my fault because the item was just too tempting for him not to steal. FML
Today, in the class I'm teaching, I assigned my students an essay to complete for homework. One student asked me if I was deducting points for bad spelling. I teach English. FML
Today, my son's school called to inform me that I had to come pick him up, as he was caught vandalising. What shenanigans had he gotten up to? Writing "Epstein didn't kill himself" on various desks and walls around the school. I'm not sure if I should applaud the sentiment, or be annoyed that he got caught. FML
Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML
Today, I gave my son a bollocking for losing a very important paper that I needed for work. I've just found it in my right pocket. FML
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Top comments
PoptartsKid 13
Be amused, that kid knows what's up; don't trust outlets... I wouldn't date one
puzzy 13
You know that can also be said the other way around. Clever kid.
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Comments (88)
puzzy 13
You know that can also be said the other way around. Clever kid.
sayyestothedress 24
Clever indeed
lexiieeex3 32
I know I would be impressed if that were my kid.
incoherentrmblr 22
How about bittersweet?...
xtramoist 6
I see you on every FML, and every time you're trying too hard, jest stahp.
PoptartsKid 13
Be amused, that kid knows what's up; don't trust outlets... I wouldn't date one
devildog562 33
Look on the positive side, at least he knows what he likes.
howsthisforaname 34
Your kid has a clear definition of what makes someone a ***** and a sense of humour. Be happy.
devildog562 33
Don't be so neutral towards the matter. Being charged up leads to shocking arguments.
cre8tvlylicnsd 14
I know! If an outlet tried to date me, I'd volt the other way. With the current state of affairs, you can't trust them! They even have three ways to adapt to the needs of European clientele...
TechFire 25
I just hope that the kid wasn't grounded for his surge of creativity.
Martijn1102 14
That's some deep thinking for a kid
coming back in the future 30
Deep eheheheheheheheh
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
not really.. kids think more than we think lol
Queensland 27
That kid is going places. Not college, but places
devildog562 33
Your application to college is now revoked for simply plagiarizing an over used, stupid saying.
coming back in the future 30
Lol funny thing is 4, in australia, college is not looked upon greatly. Queensland maybe, Nsw? No
meli1195 31
OP, just be glad he's doing his hw and doing something creative instead of doing other not so good things like playing video games all day or doing drugs.
LunaaBluee 27
What's wrong with playing video games... :(
keiNan_fml 35
like seriously video games not SO good things????
MzZombicidal 36
There's nothing wrong with videogames as long as you're active at other points. Lol. And I can see OP's possible frustration if her son just doesn't take his schoolwork seriously, but let's just hope his teacher appreciates the joke.
ARetardedSeal 24
Video games can increase awareness and reaction time which isn't so bad.
coming back in the future 30
#5 or taking selfies all the time.
junkman6 22
Video games increase reaction times ey? ahahahaha!!!! Thank you for that. I guess maybe your thumbs will twitch faster than a person who doesn't play video games? Don't get me wrong, I love my video games but that's the stupidest shit I've ever heard.
Cupcake040 17
#45 they often say that doctors who play video games regularly perform better in the operating room. In other words you better hope your high paid doctor plays COD
Mauskau 36
My reaction times suck because I don't play FPS games, mainly MMOs or MOBAs. However my friends that don't play any games have worse reaction times. Gaming taught me how to spell, write, read, count, multiple different skills and also helped me to develop as a person. Runescape at the age of 5 was helpful. Btw, most people play some sort of video game.
orbit 22
What's wrong with doing drugs... :(
junkman6 22
Lmmfao. Let's put a pro gamer next to a pro any sport player and see who has better reaction times. Those studies are done in a bullshit vacuum. Edit: hell even a little league any sport player is going to have better reaction times.
smackaroonial 20
Moderation in all things. Video games: good. Too much video games to the point where that's all you want to do and you don't get paid to play: bad.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
#71, Just because you don't agree with a study doesn't mean it's bullshit.
doodlecloud 27
#45, you really think that the only active part of a video gamer is their thumbs? If the game is fast paced you're often encountering multiple pieces of information from all over the screen (enemies, weapons, health, items, powers, environment, etc.) and deciding what to do with them at the same time. It's more to do with your brain recognising, filtering and organising than it is telling your thumbs what to do. It doesn't take a scientist to tell you that doing that repeatedly will quicken those reactions, even if it's only in certain situations or not as quick as those doing that in real life situations like a sports player.
junkman6 22
I looked up the study, it has nothing to do with agreeing or disagreeing. The test groups were taken from a very small cross section then evaluated in a vacuum. It's bad science. The study looked at their "decision making" on assessing which way things were moving on a computer screen. The rest is just conjecture that this "might" make someone who plays video games have a more "trained" brain therefore they can make decisions faster. You get that in any sport. It's pattern recognition and probability, not some magical video games make reaction times faster BS. Someone with an active brain is obviously going to make faster and smarter decisions than someone who vegetates on a couch all day. That's not "rocket surgery" it's common sense.
The_Appendix_ 13
I see why you're single,#92
coming back in the future 30
Oh shit Lol 97
anatawabakadesu 6
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT VIDEO GAMES UNLESS THEIR ONES THAT SUCK
brendirific 12
Wow your kid's pretty smart! I'm interested to know what the teacher's response was though
spatula232 25
The man has some brains
coming back in the future 30
And balls.
201chasew 22
I wrote on a history test that, "The soldiers were standing balls deep in water." I still got a 105 on the test, but the teacher gave me a weird look when I came back to school the next day.
201chasew 22
The question was about trench warfare in WW1 if anyone wanted to know.
Dave_Davington 34
But the outlet gives the charge, not receives it. So shouldn't it be the plugs that are the ******?
ohSNAPyall 27
The plug is just a gigolo.
chosha_fml 27
#8 I was thinking the same, but I think it's a play on the word 'charge.' A plug enters and the outlet charges them as a result.
mete_orito 34
The charge in this case is the pleasure, right?
devildog562 33
I vote amused! "Oh outlet how you take that plug so well. Even when I put on the ground. Socket to me."
evilamoebaattack 20
oh outlet you ***** you take in cords aplenty all for a charge why?
gracehi 33
Why not both?
Gravenmuir 18
*Mexican music playing*