Today, my friend awoke me because I was talking in my sleep. When I asked her what I was talking about she replied with, "Let's just say you were having tea with the Queen of England. And a duck. You're really good at quacking." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to my roommate screaming. Turns out, I had sleepwalked into her bed during the night. I don’t remember anything, but apparently I told her, “Shhh, don’t mention the ducks” before laying down next to her and fell asleep. FML
Today, I recently started seeing a girl and I slept over at her house for the first time. Apparently, I still talk in my sleep. This morning she told me I whispered, "I love you so much." FML
Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML
Today, I discovered that I sometimes talk in my sleep. After spending an amazing, perfectly romantic night with my boyfriend, I woke up to him telling me to leave. I have no idea what I could have said. He still won't talk to me. FML
Today, I was talking to a customer and I actually fell asleep for a couple of seconds. I can honestly say she wouldn't stop talking and didn't even notice me snoring. FML
Today, I woke up and realized that the "nice dream" I'd had was just about talking to people. FML
Today, I woke up to my friend stroking my face with the bottom of his foot and whispering, "Shh, you're okay." FML
Today, I was riding the train and fell asleep. A friend of mine got on a few stops later, and to be funny, shouted 'BOO!'. I woke up and was so startled I peed myself. FML
Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replied, "You farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML
Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
You were having a sex dream. Don't lie.
montgomery634 0
hahaha that's really funny
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Comments (110)
Ma_Ballz_R_Harry 0
Not funny Not an FML but an FU
TheLetterZero 7
"Today, I discovered I have a hidden talent. FML" Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.
kewlcat 0
Usual FMLs have to be funny nobody really likes to read about cheating boyfriends and girlfriends unless it has a twist.
bexox 0
Agreed Kewlcat. A lot of people say "You're life isn't ******! How is this an FML?" But they don't realize it's not supposed to be about your life being devastated. If that were the case it would be all about violence and abuse, etc. etc. and completely depressing.
HamsteronA 0
PERFECT!!
11bellacasey 0
lol
islaphippos 0
not an fml, not fyl just **** you
twist_n_shout 0
a little harsh? but i do agree that it's definitely not am fml
lettertjes 0
I'm pretty sure I've read this before.
oopsie_daisy8446 0
I agree more 'embarassing moment' than 'fml'.
Fahad_fml 0
how is this an fml. FML for reading this stupid thing
intrepid00 0
He could just be ******* with you.
tarheel22893 0
that's not an fml at all...booo
leero 0
it would be more of an fml if you had just been with a guy you like for the first time and he woke up to you quacking.
jaaxx_fml 0
LOL XD that's FML worthy
YouAreAllFdUp 0
Your life is clearly just so f'd up that there is no hope for recovery. You are doomed to failure all because of one silly dream. Seriously...WHY IS THIS EVEN HERE?! FML needs a third "LAME!" category for when "agree" and "YDI" aren't appropriate.
alenxa 0
I agree. "Quit whining" or "Your life's just fine" or "Lighten up, you're okay" or something.