Today, my friend awoke me because I was talking in my sleep. When I asked her what I was talking about she replied with, "Let's just say you were having tea with the Queen of England. And a duck. You're really good at quacking." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to my roommate screaming. Turns out, I had sleepwalked into her bed during the night. I don’t remember anything, but apparently I told her, “Shhh, don’t mention the ducks” before laying down next to her and fell asleep. FML
Today, I recently started seeing a girl and I slept over at her house for the first time. Apparently, I still talk in my sleep. This morning she told me I whispered, "I love you so much." FML
Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML
Today, I discovered that I sometimes talk in my sleep. After spending an amazing, perfectly romantic night with my boyfriend, I woke up to him telling me to leave. I have no idea what I could have said. He still won't talk to me. FML
Today, I was talking to a customer and I actually fell asleep for a couple of seconds. I can honestly say she wouldn't stop talking and didn't even notice me snoring. FML
Today, I woke up and realized that the "nice dream" I'd had was just about talking to people. FML
Today, I woke up to my friend stroking my face with the bottom of his foot and whispering, "Shh, you're okay." FML
Today, I was riding the train and fell asleep. A friend of mine got on a few stops later, and to be funny, shouted 'BOO!'. I woke up and was so startled I peed myself. FML
Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replied, "You farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML
Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
You were having a sex dream. Don't lie.
montgomery634 0
hahaha that's really funny
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Comments (110)
Mvibes 0
No ones mentioned that she said "awoke me"? Wow, I thought people here liked to attack grammer errors. Anyway, not an fml, but a little funny...Probably more so if I had been there. But yeah, your friends probably screwing with you.
ASpocksky 0
Is that even bad? It's a friend and you must trust her a lot to be sleeping near her.
carmakitten 0
HAHAHA SO RANDOM BECAUSE THIS REALLY HAPPENS. I know you think of yourself as funny and clever for comign up with this, but its an awful awful lie that anyone can see through, stop trying to be funny and stop trying to be 'unique'.
carmakitten 0
HAHAHA SO RANDOM BECAUSE THIS REALLY HAPPENS. I know you think of yourself as funny and clever for comign up with this, but its an awful awful lie that anyone can see through, stop trying to be funny and stop trying to be 'unique'.
SUSAltd 0
This is so awesome.
PsychoX 0
Ducks are sexy. Just because you don't have a duck fetish doesn't mean that your views are the norm. Freak. Real men love ducks.
his_angel 0
I can totally understand and sympathize! I share a room with my older sister because we both threaten to kill our younger sister because she's a pain but it causes some trouble. I talk in my sleep too and apparently one night I was dreaming about pancakes because that was months ago and my sister still calls me pancakes just to annoy me!
khatuba 0
this isn't all that funny.
fmlcrycrycryfml 0
thats kinda sad NOT FUNNY.
psyx 0
Women love men who love ducks.