Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was woken up by my elderly neighbor banging on my door at 2am. She needed "urgent" assistance as she had forgotten how to turn her TV off. I'd just fallen asleep. FML
Today, I was woken up by my roommates cat meowing so loudly at her door, wanting in. Suddenly it stopped. I was just falling back into sleep when I rolled over and the cat was right there beside my head. Meowing. FML
Today, I experienced the fright of a lifetime when I woke up and heard my bedroom door opening. Fearing that there was an intruder, I picked up a bat and opened the door, ready to whack the mystery intruder. There was no one there. No one, except my cat, who apparently knows how to open doors now. FML
Today, after moving into my new house, I woke up to strange sounds coming from the kitchen. I panicked and started sobbing, convinced it was either a robbery or a home invasion. Turned out it was just my cat. FML
Today, I was outside with my two new kittens. A woman came rushing over, saying how glad she was that they were outside. She then started complaining that she had only been able to see them through the windows previously. I have no idea who she is or where she lives. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and I noticed the balcony door was open. As I went to go close it, I swear I saw my cat wondering outside and I panicked. Long story short, I locked myself out searching for the cat and the next thing I knew, he was meowing at me from the balcony a few feet above me. FML
Today, my cat tried to escape when I opened my front door. I noticed that whenever I start babbling and making random sounds, he stops dead and just stares at me in confusion, before walking back in. With my luck, however, this time my neighbor heard everything. They walked quickly away, as if they'd seen a ghost. FML
Today, I left my apartment window open for some fresh air. When I returned, my idiot cat was on the balcony staring at me... from my neighbor’s apartment. FML
Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML
Today, I heard a scream that sounded suspiciously like my cat when he's just had a nightmare or is otherwise in a state of extreme distress. I found him chilling on my couch, so I walked back to my room, when I heard the scream again. I ran back and he was still chilling. It was my neighbor's son screaming outside. FML
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Top comments
guci101 14
On the bright side, she wasn't there to murder you!
bachoman 10
Her being frightened is her own fault. It's a bit more than creepy to stand right outside someone's window and speak to their animals.
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Comments (86)
guci101 14
On the bright side, she wasn't there to murder you!
ColonelCusswords 24
if thats the bright side, whats the bad side?
brand125 17
21 - umm, the fml you just read?
whatafuckup 14
Don't kill her
ColonelCusswords 24
#28 its a joke you didnt need to overthink it i meant that thats a realy extreme good side and i was saying "whats the. bad side" looking for a realy extreme bad side. But then you ruined it
zarosian 17
What are you on about?
acerredrum 23
@35, no the joke simply wasn't funny.
rocker_chick105 31
35- I've seen a few of your comments. Either you're a troll, or just not cut out for this commenting thing...
zandalee 20
Bit of a relief she wasn't carrying a dripping hypothermic needle...
Jghaugland 6
I can see the angels!
incoherentrmblr 22
Damn, crazy cat ladies are everywhere, even in your own house...
samquenda 8
What a catastrophe!
jad0016 12
That pun is starting to get old with it being on every cat FML
ColonelCusswords 24
Can you not do that ever
cakefete2 31
I think the only way to put a paws to the puns is to cat-ch and fine the perpetrators.
kelsorg 21
at least she didn't try to emphasize CAT
cakefete2 31
Why would I do that? You should lay down. You're probably not feline too well.
MrConcise 35
@39 - *feline the perpawtrators. Fix'd.
MrConcise 35
@39 - Hilariously enough my eyes glazed over while I reading the exact same puns being used in the comments you left. Please sue me, I deserve it for how inattentive I can be.
Dgarcia2014 13
@39 how about purrrrrpawtrators? :D ? No? :(
christian1509 21
With these puns it's always 50/50 sometimes they work out sometimes they get down voted to hell
JMichael 26
this just goes to show it doesn't matter how gorgeous your profile pic makes you look, people really hate a bad pun.
liloldme76 14
Looks like the cats out of the bag
colby6666 43
Creepy either way...
rich443 22
creepy old person strikes again
sammiixoxo 12
Next time keep your window close just in case
enddmd 27
*hugs window to keep it close*
ColonelCusswords 24
i dont think i could live without my window by my side, its been there for me ever since i first laid eyes on it
ohSNAPyall 27
Really, 23? I can see right through mine.
bachoman 10
Her being frightened is her own fault. It's a bit more than creepy to stand right outside someone's window and speak to their animals.
ColonelCusswords 24
That depends if she was about to knock on her door or something
EdenCrystal 21
#26, why would she do that if she didn't even know OP?
shessohighh 10
To be fair, she is old. Old people tend to unknowingly do creepy things from time to time.
ThomasBombadil 31
What you get for taking a cat nap.
xleahx131 9
I hope you didn't give her a heart attack! But she sounds cute
TrialErrorTrial 14
She knew the cat had an owner so I blame that one on her.
RenoTheRhino 30
You gotta watch out for those old ladies. They always try to steal cats for some reason..
ColonelCusswords 24
Anyone remember that post about some dudes neighbor taking his dog
sk8rdud3 24
#27, yup
tony2win 5
You should have had a conversation with her pretending to be the cat. "Yup, just have myself a bath, now it's nap time"
jerryj 27
That's a great idea. However, using perfect spelling may blow the cover.
ohSNAPyall 27
I doubt the neighbor will hear her spelling.