Today, my friend awoke me because I was talking in my sleep. When I asked her what I was talking about she replied with, "Let's just say you were having tea with the Queen of England. And a duck. You're really good at quacking." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to my roommate screaming. Turns out, I had sleepwalked into her bed during the night. I don’t remember anything, but apparently I told her, “Shhh, don’t mention the ducks” before laying down next to her and fell asleep. FML
Today, I recently started seeing a girl and I slept over at her house for the first time. Apparently, I still talk in my sleep. This morning she told me I whispered, "I love you so much." FML
Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML
Today, I discovered that I sometimes talk in my sleep. After spending an amazing, perfectly romantic night with my boyfriend, I woke up to him telling me to leave. I have no idea what I could have said. He still won't talk to me. FML
Today, I was talking to a customer and I actually fell asleep for a couple of seconds. I can honestly say she wouldn't stop talking and didn't even notice me snoring. FML
Today, I woke up and realized that the "nice dream" I'd had was just about talking to people. FML
Today, I woke up to my friend stroking my face with the bottom of his foot and whispering, "Shh, you're okay." FML
Today, I was riding the train and fell asleep. A friend of mine got on a few stops later, and to be funny, shouted 'BOO!'. I woke up and was so startled I peed myself. FML
Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replied, "You farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML
Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
You were having a sex dream. Don't lie.
montgomery634 0
hahaha that's really funny
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Comments (110)
glennabobenna 0
its not an FML, its just (attempting to be) really funny
venom11065 0
why do people read the FML, then complain about wasted time by wasting even MORE time commenting long, unneeded insults?
diabetic_rage 0
and yet you waste even more time complaining about the people who complain. and now i'm wasting time complaining about your complaining about complaining... the list goes on and the cycle will continue
venom11065 0
that it does, but im not wasting my time, for i have all the time in the world
Me27 0
Oh, what a travesty to your life...
flyingpan8 0
this is the dumbest fml i have ever read.
medfly 2
am I reading it wrong or is she suggesting you were having a very wet dream.
uwould11 0
i saw this on tv once u liar
Jakester 0
HAHAHA I love it!! Quaking in your sleep? Thats the most random thing I have ever heard! Thats in my favorites now! That made my day!
alicegw 0
i quack in my sleep sometimes haaa
chocoLIFE_fml 2
haha
CyclonePsycho 1
Finally, people who are on the same page as me. Duck lovers, ftw!