Today, my friend awoke me because I was talking in my sleep. When I asked her what I was talking about she replied with, "Let's just say you were having tea with the Queen of England. And a duck. You're really good at quacking." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to my roommate screaming. Turns out, I had sleepwalked into her bed during the night. I don’t remember anything, but apparently I told her, “Shhh, don’t mention the ducks” before laying down next to her and fell asleep. FML
Today, I recently started seeing a girl and I slept over at her house for the first time. Apparently, I still talk in my sleep. This morning she told me I whispered, "I love you so much." FML
Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML
Today, I discovered that I sometimes talk in my sleep. After spending an amazing, perfectly romantic night with my boyfriend, I woke up to him telling me to leave. I have no idea what I could have said. He still won't talk to me. FML
Today, I was talking to a customer and I actually fell asleep for a couple of seconds. I can honestly say she wouldn't stop talking and didn't even notice me snoring. FML
Today, I woke up and realized that the "nice dream" I'd had was just about talking to people. FML
Today, I woke up to my friend stroking my face with the bottom of his foot and whispering, "Shh, you're okay." FML
Today, I was riding the train and fell asleep. A friend of mine got on a few stops later, and to be funny, shouted 'BOO!'. I woke up and was so startled I peed myself. FML
Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replied, "You farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML
Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
You were having a sex dream. Don't lie.
montgomery634 0
hahaha that's really funny
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Comments (110)
montgomery634 0
hahaha that's really funny
Warpicuss 0
Omg lol D=
DamionDude 0
No, =D
where_i_stood 0
looool. but that's not really an FML...
too_much_fun 0
agreed. this doesnt really suck unless you were over at a huge sleep over with people you were trying to impress.
volcomxbabiix3 0
yeaaah, this isnt rele an FML but its hilariouss xD
NomNomMuffin 5
Take it as a compliment OP!
letitrockk 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
lol, what are you? 5? sucks though. fyl indeed
I_lost_the_game 25
She was sleeping, she couldn't help it.
robbietherabbit 0
ha, don't know if I would believe your friend
lil_miz_liz09 0
this isn't really an fml. but its funnyyy!
dramakat11 0
That's not an FML. You were having a weird dream, so what? It's pretty funny though.
redbluegreen 41
You were having a sex dream. Don't lie.
nowhere90 0
A sex dream with a duck and the Queen of England? That makes the dream even more weird..
Romaine_fml 0
That sounds like a pretty awesome type of sex dream to be honest. I mean, how good can they get? It's royalty and ********** combined
xsteezy 0
this isn't even funny. this is a waste of an fml.
Overlord57 0
I once quoted part of a game in my sleep, according to my friends. Just keep in mind that your friend might just be trying to screw with you.