Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to my little sister strangling me. My parents accused me of making the red marks on my throat myself to exaggerate how bad it was. She's just "going through a phase", they say, and I'm a bad person for punching her to get her off me. FML
Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML
Today, my mom called to chew me out for having my sister arrested. My sister broke into my apartment, rearranged my living room, and claimed she now lived with me. She then threatened me with a butcher's knife for not appreciating what she had done. My mom wants me to pay the bail. FML
Today, my uncle picked up a tissue box and threw it at my sister for fun. My sister got mad and yeeted the box at me. I reacted with the same action, but she lost her crap and kicked and punched me. When I reported the incident to my parents, I get berated and my sister got away with it. FML
Today, my sister was taking forever in the bathroom, and I jokingly threatened to kick down the door. I rammed into it, and it actually bust almost off its hinges. My sister screamed and our parents came running. Now I'm grounded forever and our bathroom has no door. FML
Today, I decided to scare my 10 year old sister for fun. I hid behind a door and leapt out, shouting "Boo!" when she walked by. She burst into tears and ran screaming to my mom. My mom thought I'd hit my sister, and was so angry that she punched me in the eye. FML
Today, I woke up to my bratty younger sister cutting through my hair with a pair of scissors. I now look like a freak, and my mum bitched me out for being angry, all because my sister claimed she'd been sleep-walking. Her demented smirk said otherwise. FML
Today, my sister smashed a cup on my head because I told her she couldn't borrow one of my necklaces since she lost one and stole another. I was grounded for "antagonizing" her into doing it. FML
Today, my sister just had a huge fight with my mom. After that, she thought it was appropriate to smash my $1,000 guitar to "blow off some steam." FML
Today, my demented little sister walked up to me and kicked me between the legs. I told my parents, but they just accusingly asked me what I did to provoke her. When I said, "Nothing", they accused me of lying. There is no justice. FML
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Top comments
subwaysurfers 13
If it's so normal, start doing that to you your mom. She'll see how 'normal' it is.
Pleonasm 36
Make an amateur horror movie out of it and become rich.
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Comments (133)
outoftown 27
Talk with a teacher or counselor at school. Your mom's in denial, so you'll have to get help yourself.
LadyTattoo 9
Sibling love...cherish it now...once you both move out and are all grown up you miss the crazy times.
EvilUndead 9
1. Hide the mallet. 2. Buy her a blow up hammer.
EvilUndead 9
Or, alternatively, get yourself a medieval shield or replica.
vc1990 6
How old is she? If she's less than 5, I would say its mostly your mother's fault for not keeping her under control; if she's like from 6 to 10, then she should know better, and your mother should control her better. If she's over 10, then she might have some kind of mental problems. But also, like someone said, what is her intention, is she doing it because she thinks its funny to watch you run and scream, or is she actually trying to hurt you
EvilUndead 9
I've got an idea. It's kinda difficult to pull off, though. 1. Rent a medieval full-plate knight costume (the one that hides place) and oversized two-handed warhammer prop. Aim at "black knight" image. 2. Modify costume to make eyes glow. 3. Rig electricity so it'll be cut at midnight. 4. Hide in her closet. 5. At midnight kick down the door, yell "it's hammer time!" in deep voice. 6. Chase her around house with two-handed hammer laughing maniacally in deep voice. I'm not sure if that'll fix you sister's behavior, but it would be a nice revenge prank. Just make sure that you don't end up walking in while she masturbates or something - that would be awkward.
Special_Psycho 8
Actually, it'll be better if she's masturbating at the time. She'll be so scared she pees and she'll know how it feels. Then tell her that you're a guardian that you summoned and that if she doesn't stop chasing you then you, the "guardian", will keep chasing her until she stops. *Does Yzma voice* It's brrriliant!
karlcolt45 19
whack an older brother!
kait11 16
I feel your pain... My sister baby sat for this family and he chased her around with a snake. When I took over and started baby sitting for them he found out that I wasn't scared of the snake and resorted to chasing me with a knife. But he's almost sixteen now and is a good kid- little rough but a good kid. Hopefully your sister will grow out of it too! Good luck!
MangaManiacNat 13
Is her name Harleen Quinzel?
The_Honey_Badger 17
Psycho sister That's weird as hell.
Mahtari 19
Yandere imouto