Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to my little sister strangling me. My parents accused me of making the red marks on my throat myself to exaggerate how bad it was. She's just "going through a phase", they say, and I'm a bad person for punching her to get her off me. FML
Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML
Today, my mom called to chew me out for having my sister arrested. My sister broke into my apartment, rearranged my living room, and claimed she now lived with me. She then threatened me with a butcher's knife for not appreciating what she had done. My mom wants me to pay the bail. FML
Today, my uncle picked up a tissue box and threw it at my sister for fun. My sister got mad and yeeted the box at me. I reacted with the same action, but she lost her crap and kicked and punched me. When I reported the incident to my parents, I get berated and my sister got away with it. FML
Today, my sister was taking forever in the bathroom, and I jokingly threatened to kick down the door. I rammed into it, and it actually bust almost off its hinges. My sister screamed and our parents came running. Now I'm grounded forever and our bathroom has no door. FML
Today, I decided to scare my 10 year old sister for fun. I hid behind a door and leapt out, shouting "Boo!" when she walked by. She burst into tears and ran screaming to my mom. My mom thought I'd hit my sister, and was so angry that she punched me in the eye. FML
Today, I woke up to my bratty younger sister cutting through my hair with a pair of scissors. I now look like a freak, and my mum bitched me out for being angry, all because my sister claimed she'd been sleep-walking. Her demented smirk said otherwise. FML
Today, my sister smashed a cup on my head because I told her she couldn't borrow one of my necklaces since she lost one and stole another. I was grounded for "antagonizing" her into doing it. FML
Today, my sister just had a huge fight with my mom. After that, she thought it was appropriate to smash my $1,000 guitar to "blow off some steam." FML
Today, my demented little sister walked up to me and kicked me between the legs. I told my parents, but they just accusingly asked me what I did to provoke her. When I said, "Nothing", they accused me of lying. There is no justice. FML
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Top comments
subwaysurfers 13
If it's so normal, start doing that to you your mom. She'll see how 'normal' it is.
Pleonasm 36
Make an amateur horror movie out of it and become rich.
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Comments (133)
lambda_fml 40
Complain to your dad, or hide the mallet. You have to make her realize that you are the elder brother.
perdix 31
Make your family motto, "With mallets toward none."
Enslaved 38
"What's a-motto with you?" ~Hakuna Matata
cardinalsluv92 5
My sister used to get blackout angry and start trying to stab with whatever was near her. The one time she succeeded with stabbing me was with a toothbrush, thankfully. She hasn't had an episode in years though.
melkymac101 17
How sweet
roblaycle 3
You're obviously a little bitch!
Kenton1008 21
She only wants you to convert to Happy-Happyism... If you get this, you win the internet.
Kenton1008 21
Guys, it's an Earthbound reference. No need to thumb me down a whole lot. :S
lee126 13
Of course the HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY song was definitely playing. Another person fighting the brainwashing of Spumco.
jelly713 19
Your mom not doing anything is probably the reason why your sister does that often. Plus your mom probably doesn't think the little one has malicious intent. Maybe she doesn't but she still shouldn't be running around with a mallet, an accident can happen. >_
RZB 11
Watch. Your. Back.
lordEast 6
Perform a exorcism. Quickly. That's normal too I hear
conholio33 28
That is not normal by any means..... Good luck OP hope you sister snaps out of wanting to do that soon