Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. As soon as I began to climax, he started repeatedly asking, "Are you done? Are you done yet? Are you done?" Well, NOW I am. Thanks, honey. FML
Today, I was having really great sex with my boyfriend. I was on top and he seemed like he was really enjoying it. Then, I realized he'd fallen asleep. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and he finished before me. I thought that he was going to try and get hard again so we could continue. Unfortunately, he turned to me and said to me, "Don't worry, I'll re-spawn in a few minutes." I lost it completely. FML
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I told him I was close to having an orgasm. He smirked and started talking like Yoda, saying, "Strong with the cum, this one is." Orgasm gone. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I got so bored, I made a "to do" list for the week in my head. FML
Today, I was telling my boyfriend I had fake orgasms all the time to piss him off. He replied, "That's OK, I'm f***ing three other girls." FML
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
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Top comments
tippy_pink89 2
well ydi for faking, if he's not doing it right, tell him, how's he ever gonna learn n fyl for getting caught
paid2think 0
haha nice one
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Comments (261)
trumpetGIRL12345 0
oh well I'm guessing u aren't an actress huh
perdix 31
I don't get it -- had he pulled out? I don't pull out when I finish. There's still a few more minutes of hardness after I come, so I might be able to give her a bonus O after I'm "done."
ktbird 0
I don't get it either. Had he stopped moving? How do you not notice that nothing is going on? I don't care if you were faking, but YDI for being dumb.
Melvar_10 3
op is ultra loose
darkmis1 18
Maybe he's just really small?
myownenemy 0
19 that's more likely to get her pregant if she orgasms after you came
MarryMeFry 10
Someone failed Sex Ed.
fruitloop1221 1
111 who the hell told you that????? this is why we need better sex Ed in school.
megapeyt 17
In regards to 111; he knows not to whom he spoke
GentlemanBastard 15
Simultaneous ****** is more likely to get you pregnant because the cervix sort of sucks semen up into the fallopian tubes during female ******. I think that is what he meant.
DokHolliday 0
Ever think that you "making a list of things to do" instead of being in the moment is why u don't cum. Dead fish girlfriend is a bad lay.
YUMmMm 0
wow... good job
perezftw 0
Ydi for not realizing he finished 2 minutes ago..
KurouTenshi 0
lesson #273 as to why you don't fake enjoying sex. either get in the mood or don't partake. or get semi raped. whatever works.
Monikabug 9
Semiraped. Lol Prepare for semiflaming comments.... I say don't fake it. If he's not doing it for you, tell him. I promise he will do what it takes to take you to your Big Screaming O. :)
alexFYL 11
Nope! I've had many boyfriends who don't care what they're doing wrong. Which is why they're all ex's now. There are a lot of selfish, boring-in-bed guys out there.
valmont_fml 0
Well, it sounds like in this case he actually did care. It depends on the guy. If he does care, it's not right, and if he doesn't care there's no reason to bother with faking.
KarelessKitten 0
I'd be pissed too. Ydi. All couples should have an open dialog about sex. If you can't be honest and communicate w/ your man, you really shouldn't be in a relationship. If he's a shitty lover, then why are you still w/ him? This FML made me laugh tho. How did you not realize he was done?
ralphv16 1
Give him head several times in a row. He'll forgive you, won't have to pull a bad performance and you won't waste time faking . Head is the solution to headaches.
mareliz95 0
your fault bitch.
jam4 0
damn just leave him if he's that bad
Cavsfodawin 21
You fucktard what she needs to do is tell him what he is doing wrong so that he can fix it and make her experience more enjoyable. She has no reason to leave him. Also relationships are not just about sex they are also about a shared love between 2 people. Sex is just a benefit of being in a relationship.
420smoke420 3
you should apologize take him to the tv and turn on his favorite sports game and if the tv remote is across the room don't you dare make him go get it, you get it for him, and then ask what he would like to eat and grab him a nice cold beer (opened of course) and then go and do the dishes after he's done eating and then do what a women is good for and do the laundry and maybe if you're lucky he will forgive you
Harlson13 0
and if that fails... ...well at least he emjoyed a good game
dannyfont 5
how interesting was the list for you not to realize he was done. ydi and fhl
babyteef 0
or how bad was the sex for you to not realize? FYL . but girl, don't fake it. When you fake, you're only concerned about his pleasure and not yours.