Today, I took pills to make sure I lasted longer with my girlfriend. Good news? It worked fine and is still working now. Bad news? We've been done for a good two hours. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband took a pill to make him last longer in bed. He did last longer. He went from 5 minutes to 7. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try some "prolonging gel" to help him last longer between the sheets. Surprisingly, it worked, and he lasted 3 times longer than usual. I can now enjoy 4 whole minutes of sex. FML
Today, my girlfriend came home with new condoms: Manix Endurance containing a numbing gel designed to help me "last longer". FML
Today, after nearly 5 months of trying for a baby, I found out my wife has continued to take the pill as it gave her a better idea of her cycle and thus when she'd be "most fertile". FML
Today, I found out that the pills my doctor prescribed for my ED cause severe side effects and I have to stop taking them. So much for my sex life. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to stay the night. Before she arrived, I popped a Viagra to spice things up. She then informed me that she was on her period and didn't feel comfortable doing it. I had a headache and a massive boner all night. FML
Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML
Today, I found out the hard way that my girlfriend lied about being on the pill four months ago. FML
Today, I was making love to my girlfriend and was pretty impressed with myself for lasting through multiple songs. Then I realized her ipod was playing a medley. I only lasted 3 1/2 minutes. FML
Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend is on the pill, and even though my girlfriend took emergency contraception, she became pregnant days after the first time we had sex without a condom. FML
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Top comments
EllyH 0
Pills? I don't think you're suppose to take more than ONE.
Kalskal 0
I would say walk it off but that would look funny indeed.
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Comments (141)
emduggs 0
first!
faillife223 0
if your erection lasts more than 4 hours , call your doctor
lovedarknessbby 0
Call the docta!
bihero 0
wat pill is that?
Person1233 13
I thought i was "if you get an erection lasting more than 4 hours, please contact the Guinness book of World Records."
eur003 0
omg way to ruin my first... you didn't even comment you selfish prick
whatchutalkinbou 0
just use it as a place to hang stuff
aardvarkish 17
21, comments like yours add an element of humor to the otherwise obnoxious 'First!!!'
eur003 0
25 - hahaha thanks buddy lol
mbjp93 0
Keep doing it! Again and again!
gvtstlmykidz 0
good one
Averizzle 0
Well it's a good time to play on team penis..
firenymph 0
Kudo's to you for a willingness to go that extra mile in your relationship. However make sure your not exceeding the dosage. if you have not then perhaps if your willing to try the pills again you should back off and take only half a dose next time.
brycereid 0
haha so your typing that fml while having sex? that's some crappy sex.
fmliliveinmichig 0
you should not give a person advice to take a medication that obviously was not prescribed to him.
StoryOfTheYear 15
What a beast!
iowa3jumpman23 0
how old are you cause it's only a girlfriend so you shouldn't be that old that you can't keep it up. ydi for having an ugly girlfriend. fail
p1ssface 0
ur penis is a fail and u wank to hard :)
theian01 3
If erection lasts for more than 4 hours, call more ladies ;-D
bmalley 0
ydi for having a fail bonner to begin with.
JinxTheMagician 0
dude... :( u fail
Harlson13 0
lol!
blindyblonde13 0
#56 agreed completly:D
d119 0
Soo much for plan b :P
mytheyeless 1
my friend all this means is that u are not done an there is more sex to be had.
thelovedoctor101 0
according to "thelovedoctor" you should take some sedatives, it should even things out :)
Griffo_fml 0
if erection lasts more than 4 hours, call more ladies
trumpetfire07 0
win for the phrase " fail bonner "
mcme 0
if your erection lasts more than 4 hours, please contact the book of world records.
damainzer 0
I dis agree with #14 if I had one lasting more then 4hors I would tell my friends=)!!!!!
damainzer 0
I mean I dis agree with #10
FHGrif 0
I thought it was call your friends and brag about it.
kenman884 2
That's assuming you can talk in between screams of horrifying pain. And my take is that he took a pill to keep from cumming, and still hasn't gotten off. YDI for not being able to control yourself in bed.
Theblue_fml 0
"If your erection lasts longer than expected, brag about it to all your friends"
omgitsEric 0
wow loser
morgie12 0
u can so jus stick it in!
morgie12 0
umm yeah that's kinds wat u do, stick it in there!
livelifetotheful_fml 0
yvhmf
MiGman 5
#19 i had a fiend who had one for 6 hours. his girlfriend timed it
brittboo27 2
#80 you're ******* hott!!!!
dilligaf24 1
why fyl?...keep going haha
eur003 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
first to comment!! yay my very first first!! unlucky buddy :( trying to help your missus and it ruined you
Lythiaren 8
Fail.
eur003 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
get stuffed... I was first to comment... he just wrote "first"... that's not a comment, it's a word... and when I typed mine no one else had typed one... look at the times
blobzorz 0
you would of had first if you didn't waste te first part of your post yelling first
shtuff 0
It's the pleat in the pants. I was just taking them back to the pants store right now. Don't act like your not impressed
K410 18
Loser lol
EllyH 0
Pills? I don't think you're suppose to take more than ONE.
RaIeigh 0
#3 - Right before i typed it i read this .
xxhappyninjaxx 0
I lmaoed hard when u read this =D
xxhappyninjaxx 0
I meant when I read this (damn iPod touch)
Kalskal 0
I would say walk it off but that would look funny indeed.
blindyblonde13 0
#5 thatd be very very funny looking
massagenist 0
i had a hard on for the entire day once in high school. there was a blonde girl that i had a crush on and couldnt stop thinking about. i recently saw her 4 years layer and she weighs 300 pounds now. not even viagra could help me now.
imapyro1996 4
I'm sorry OP that must have been very hard-on you
greeneyedgoalie7 0
hahahaha strong pills
lolkirst 0
lol Viagra fail!
Smilzen 0
I don't know what to be titillated more by, your enormous...sunglasses, or your gigaaantic...earrings?
twilight_0118 0
oh that just sucks. and I have to say 'first'! :)
romskiies 0
fail
bloodhoundbambam 0
twillight As Name = double fail
racerapj 10
saying that a boner longer than 4 hrs sucks = triple fail
KillU2009 0
you can light a match and blow it out and put the hot ember on your wrist. lol
Fedor_fml 0
at least your still erected if she wants more....
sourgirl101 29
Ya... if she wants more... Why are you done?Two words " KY jelly " if not, it's like an Indian rug burn. You're probably done because you're hurting your girl. YDI for not knowing you can't just stick it in.
khiaranoah 0
ur not first silly !!!!! and i lol'd at ur misfortune haha
eur003 0
learn how to reply on direct comments before you call someone else silly...
TheTrollinator 0
learn to calm down before you comment after out firsted :3
TheTrollinator 0
after being*
CallMeHush 1
Bahahaha