Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. As soon as I began to climax, he started repeatedly asking, "Are you done? Are you done yet? Are you done?" Well, NOW I am. Thanks, honey. FML
Today, I was having really great sex with my boyfriend. I was on top and he seemed like he was really enjoying it. Then, I realized he'd fallen asleep. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and he finished before me. I thought that he was going to try and get hard again so we could continue. Unfortunately, he turned to me and said to me, "Don't worry, I'll re-spawn in a few minutes." I lost it completely. FML
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I told him I was close to having an orgasm. He smirked and started talking like Yoda, saying, "Strong with the cum, this one is." Orgasm gone. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I got so bored, I made a "to do" list for the week in my head. FML
Today, I was telling my boyfriend I had fake orgasms all the time to piss him off. He replied, "That's OK, I'm f***ing three other girls." FML
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
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Top comments
tippy_pink89 2
well ydi for faking, if he's not doing it right, tell him, how's he ever gonna learn n fyl for getting caught
paid2think 0
haha nice one
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Comments (261)
HeXr 22
no one seems to have acknowledged the possibility that maybe OP's bf has a tiny little baby dick and that's why she doesn't notice/enjoy sex. FYL for having a pencil dicked bf and/or him really sucking in bed. though you should probably tell him he sucks since that's the best way to get him to stop sucking. or just find someone else, either or
israelnotjacob 20
No matter what his limitations are if she isn't telling him he's not truly pleasuring her then it's her fault because if he thinks he can give her good orgasms he's going to assume he's doing a good job and not try to make adjustments. Faking orgasms is perhaps the stupidest thing a woman can do. I'm sure more guys would rather know honestly if they need to do something better. If two people can't be honest with each other when it comes to sex they don't deserve to be having it. So even if he is bad in bed she still deserves it for not telling.
Smilzen 0
I dunno. Most times, hell yeah...tell me what works and I'll go for it. But there are days like where I'm just...man, I'm TIRED...if I'm gettin' busy dicing that tomato and I'm tired and the girl knows it, maybe an honorable way out would be some nice fakeage. Or a raincheck. Or maybe I say something sexy like, "Baby, I don't got the juice to bring you to Candyland tonight. Could we just spoon with vigor?".
israelnotjacob 20
I get not being able to get her to climax if it is a time when you're tired out so you can't work as hard as usual, but in that case though I wouldn't expect her to lie, just understand if I can't quite get her that far.
triniboi84 0
I agree with 75, quit faking and spend ur time teaching ur man how to please u
Njal 0
What a total bitch. You deserve it for being a liar, an inconsiderate lover, fyl for being a dumb **** who has to fake orgasmisms because you can't help him please you. Either f*** him or get off your back.
darkmis1 18
YDI! If he's not doing something right, you need to tell him. Otherwise, he'll never know, and he won't get any better. F your boyfriends L.
iLoveMySgt 0
#95: you kinda look like Mona Lisa :)
dbjb40 0
hey tell him that if he knew how to do his damn job as a man u wouldn't have to fake it : P
namhowell 6
LOL this is funny!
Oreogasm 5
WOW THATS A LOW PRICE!!!!!!
Mortanious 0
YDI big time! He finished 2 minutes ago?! did you not feel him inside you anymore? How wide are you? Not his fault you're so loose thatcyour lips flap in the wind.
Mortanious 0
that your* (stupid iPhone)
erikeet216 0
so you mean he wasn't even moving anymore? I don't really understand this situation... if he was still humping then he can't really get mad, but if he had stopped and just laid there to test your reaction THEN you faked it, you're a huge idiot.
erikeet216 0
lmao, wet_queef? that's hilarious