Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. As soon as I began to climax, he started repeatedly asking, "Are you done? Are you done yet? Are you done?" Well, NOW I am. Thanks, honey. FML
Today, I was having really great sex with my boyfriend. I was on top and he seemed like he was really enjoying it. Then, I realized he'd fallen asleep. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and he finished before me. I thought that he was going to try and get hard again so we could continue. Unfortunately, he turned to me and said to me, "Don't worry, I'll re-spawn in a few minutes." I lost it completely. FML
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I told him I was close to having an orgasm. He smirked and started talking like Yoda, saying, "Strong with the cum, this one is." Orgasm gone. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I got so bored, I made a "to do" list for the week in my head. FML
Today, I was telling my boyfriend I had fake orgasms all the time to piss him off. He replied, "That's OK, I'm f***ing three other girls." FML
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
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Top comments
tippy_pink89 2
well ydi for faking, if he's not doing it right, tell him, how's he ever gonna learn n fyl for getting caught
paid2think 0
haha nice one
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Comments (261)
robdoggstge 0
wow jus tell em what u like. never fake an ****** cuz then ull never have a real one.
RhiePants 0
Christ, the sexist jokes never end do they? GET IN THE KITCHEN DURRRR Yeah, that's so funny. Haven't heard that one about a billion times from people who have never had sex or girlfriends.
RhiePants 0
Also, I don't feel bad for either of you. If he's pissed because you faked, then he needs to learn how to stop sucking in bed. If you faked because he sucks, then you need to help him out and stop daydreaming during sex.
mel984 0
starfish much?
jaypmoney 0
hell nawl!!
DocTweeter 0
your a ******* **** and I hope you die in a fire ****.
kenman884 2
I don't understand the need for faking orgasms. Every single girl I know (aside from family, that is) has no trouble at all with them. But even if he sucks in bed, faking doesn't help. At. All.
hshoecrab 0
ydi for being a ***** and having sex before marriage
beekicker 0
WTF is your problem??? bible thumper
AeFinder224 0
I agree with beekicker!!!
krystina162010 0
u so should dump his ass and go for someone who can make ur bedrock and make u not fake it!!
massagenist 0
is this what all married couples do after the honeymoon ?
eriol08 0
wooooow... are you that lose that u can't fill him pulling his dick out?
thebillster93 0
maybe you shouldn't have sex before marriage then
C_Teng 0
..What does that have to do with anything? How would this FML be any different if she was having sex with her husband instead of her boyfriend?
israelnotjacob 20
Maybe if she had waited for marriage she would actually have the maturity to have open, honest communication about their sex lives. Someone who has to lie is not mature enough to deserve that kind of intimacy.
valmont_fml 0
I don't know if "deserve" is the right word, but I otherwise agree that they clearly should have been more mature if they were going to have sex. "Marriage" is kind of a tricky word to use in this case, because it means so many different things to different people.