Today, a guy I had been casually seeing asked me to dinner. Thinking he could be wanting to make things serious, I got all dressed up. Turns out he got a girlfriend and just wanted to tell me in person to avoid things being awkward. We then waited in silence for our meal. FML
moneybenny tells us more.
moneybenny 10
And to anyone saying I could have left... He picked me up in his car and drove me to the place. The car ride home was equally fun.
Today, I was disciplined by my boss for "not smiling enough." I'm a dishwasher. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for ages. Midway through the meal, he sighed and said, "I'll be honest, this is a horrible date. You got zero personality and I'm too lazy to do a window escape, so..." He then got up and walked out. FML
Today, after a big house party the night before, I woke up with a dry mouth and a pounding hangover. I took a swig from a cup I'd left on my bedside table the night before, thinking it was water. Nope; it was vodka. FML
Today, my brain decided to go into suicide mode. So far I've managed to open a fridge door into my face, walk balls-first into the corner of a table, and sliced my finger while trying to cut open some thick plastic packaging with scissors. I'll probably be dead by the time this is posted. FML
Today, my students turned in their male figure artwork. One absolute idiot had the smart idea of drawing me and the TA as some kind of gay lovers. I was torn between disgust at the explicitness, anger at the disrespect, and yet awe at how well-drawn it was. FML
Today, I was having lunch with my fiancé's family. After he excused himself to use the bathroom, his grandmother glared at me, sneered, "I never liked you" and kept eating while the others smirked. When my fiancé returned, everyone pretended nothing had happened. FML
Today, I am so shy and friendless that my mother is literally setting up a play-date with one of her friend's daughters. I'm 25 years-old and this is my best chance at making a friend. FML
Today, I went to a fancy charity dinner. I'm a schmoozer, so I decided to introduce myself to someone important. I asked enthusiastically, "So, how are you involved with all of this madness?" He frowned at me. I then remembered that this particular charity assists people with mental issues. FML
Today, my boyfriend bought yet another video game and played it all afternoon. Unlike me, our parrot is taking this situation rather well - for the past two hours he's been repeating, over and over, "EA Sports, it's in the game." FML
Today, a customer at work said his table was dirty. I asked which one he was sitting at so I could clean it for him. For some bizarre reason he got pissed and called my manager over. He ended up reporting us to corporate, and my manager got written up. He's blaming me for everything. FML
Today, an older gentleman came into my work for underwear. I helped him find his size, pulled out a pair of navy ones and he then turned to me and said, "I don't want dark colours because I can't tell if I've shit myself." He then continued looking for all the white pairs. FML
Today, I figured I needed to go on a diet when I discovered I could make farting noises with my neck. FML
Today, while on the highway, a guy in a truck sped up to pass me. He was hauling a trailer, which hit me and ran me off the road. I called the cops and followed him all the way into town, where the cops pulled him over. They let him go without even a ticket, because, "He didn't know he hit you." FML
Today, my mother-in-law confessed that for the longest time, she had fantasies about killing me for "ruining" her daughter's life, basically because I'm not wealthy enough for my mother-in-law's standards. She made sure to let me know the situation hasn't changed at all. FML
Today, a coworker asked me why this week's report was not uploaded to the server. I've been writing these reports once a week for a year and they take a whole day to write. Upload them to what server? FML
Today, in the fitting rooms at work, a 10-year-old kid threw a coat-hanger directly at my face. The kid's father didn't apologise on his behalf, but instead congratulated him on what he called "a wicked shot". FML
GoldenButtNugget tells us more.
No. No offense, I completely agree that that guy should be a better father and have handled that situation a lot differently, but you do not kick a man in his genitals unless it is self defense when he is attempting to harm you. The sheer pain alone is indescribable, as if someone is pulling out your soul, but the risk of permanent damage is what disgusts me about people who just leisurely decide to kick men in their genitals, it's almost as brutal as saying, "hey just punch her in the crotch really hard," no big deal right??? Like I said I agree the situation could have been handled better but the ONLY situation in which a man deserves ANY attempted harm to his genitals is when it is out of self defense when he is Really trying to harm you. This has to stop, I almost had irreversible damage to my testicles because two assholes decided it would be funny to kick me in my genitals, one a man and one a woman, and I might not have been able to have children ever, which is one of my dreams because I want to be an amazing father and create a life that I can support and help change the world if they want to, and I almost lost that just because two assholes wanted to kick me in the genitals, and no I was not doing anything threatening. This has to stop, people need to realize this is a serious problem, along with many others that there is not a long enough comment to talk about but I felt I needed to address this. I posted this just above but I wanted to make sure you two idiots get it too.
Today, I got to explain to someone that "enjoying the warm, rich aromas of fecal matter" is not a good subject to use as an ice breaker for making friends. FML
Today, a customer yelled at me so furiously that she sprayed my face with spittle. I had to stand there, smiling and politely explaining that I needed to see a receipt before I could give her a refund. When she finally gave up and left, my boss bitched me out for "provoking the customer". FML
Today, less than a day after my cranky downstairs neighbor passed away, I woke up to banging sounds against his apartment ceiling, like the ones he used to make whenever I walked around during the night. I'm shitting myself in fear. FML
Today, I was talking to one of my British friends online, and he told me to say "yew anchors" a few times really fast. I'm a fairly stupid person, and wasn't very focused, so I did as he said. When I finally figured what the words meant, my dad had heard and grounded me for cursing. FML
Today, I finally finished a drawing that someone had asked and said they would pay me for. I worked on it for multiple hours and was very proud of it. When it came to discussing payment, I asked what his best offer was. A pack of cigarettes. FML
Today, despite years of paranoid checking, I forgot to check my towel for spiders after my shower. Two crawled onto me, and I'm pretty sure there's one somewhere in my hair. FML
Today, my university considered it an "embarrassment" that I was going to be the first and only person to graduate from my engineering course, so they gave free passes to two guys who hadn't finished their thesis yet. They were congratulated in the newspaper; I wasn't. FML
jlmed tells us more.
jlmed 9
OP here, since some are curious for updates here it is (I made an account for this!): Sadly there isn't "more to the story", the University wanted more people to graduate and those two guys were the closest to the finish line (aside from myself). I have tried to raise hell, but since this is a very "macho" country no one is willing to back me up. Everyone knows it happened though. The rich old guys who run the University and took the decision in the first place can't even be reached, the only people higher up are government workers who are, of course, all men who are friendly with the rich old guys. Matters like these aren't exactly "priority" even if I did manage to reach an honest person in the government. I'm afraid I'm forced to "get over it" and just move on. Still pissed though. So, I've decided to save up and move to a country where I have possibility of equal pay (another big issue here), so that's all I can tell you guys for now. Thank you SO MUCH for your good wishes and back-up, it's nice to finally see people express the same anger as me. Oh and I graduated in IT Engineering, focused on multimedia, for those who were wondering.
Today, my grandmother tried to start a fist-fight with my wife during my wedding ceremony. FML
Today, I walked a student to an office on the other side of the school. I'm the kind of person who would rather make conversation than endure awkward silence, so I tried to talk to him. He just stared intently at my chest the whole time. FML
Miss_Whipped tells us more.
Miss_Whipped 43
You're right, it was awkward with his head turned toward me the whole time. Working in the main office doesn't leave me a lot of room as to what I can say or do in front of the people I escort across the building (most of them sponsors from colleges or other organizations to pass out information during lunch). I think the worst I had to endure was this one pair of guys who did nothing but bad-mouth the school and the others that worked in my office. My only response was to take them down the longest, winding path to their destination as I could imagine. Other than that, I had to remain silent when I wanted to defend my school's honor. As far as this kid, I ended up clamming up and stopped making any attempt to talk to him. I usually call people out on weird behavior, but I think that it was just the shock and disgust of it all that glued my mouth shut. I just walked back to the office silently and did nothing. What was I supposed to do, cry 'sexual harassment' this late in the school year? I've got 4 days left before I never have to attend high school again. I'd rather it go off without a hitch. As for the 'I've got a nice rack' comments, I don't think it's appropriate to stare either way. Some things are meant to keep to yourself (or your own eyeballs).
Today, I got married. My father saw this as a good time to give some solemn, heartfelt advice to my new husband: "That ring gets real heavy fast." I was standing right there. So was my mother. FML
Today, I searched up ways to fix my eyebrows since they were so bushy and thick. I took my tweezers and set to work. It went to shit. So now, I have one completely straight eyebrow that makes me look like Bert from Sesame Street and another that's arched like Nina Dobrev's. FML
LexiJ1 tells us more.
LexiJ1 18
Oh no I love the comments. You. Guys are actually kinda making me feel a little better. And I love the creativity!! I'm sorry for ruining my eyebrows but I'm not a Prick tyvm. Btw, I have school tomorrow....I can just imagine the round nicknames I'll get......-_-'
Today, my boyfriend's mother hung a picture of him and his ex-girlfriend up. We've been together for 3 years now. Guess she really does hate me. FML
Today, I told someone about my degree in technical theatre with a concentration in lighting design. They looked at me and said, "You're paid $52,000 a year to turn lights on and off?" And technically, that's correct. FML
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