Today, despite years of paranoid checking, I forgot to check my towel for spiders after my shower. Two crawled onto me, and I'm pretty sure there's one somewhere in my hair. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found the same spider which I had let live yesterday hidden in my bath towel. I didn't find it until it was smeared on my face. FML
Today, with water in my eyes, I stepped out of the shower and rubbed my face with a towel. When I looked in the mirror, I realized there had been a giant spider on the towel. Its guts and legs were smeared all over my face. FML
Today, it took a whole half hour of scratching my head before I realized with horror that the weird tickling sensation I'd been feeling was actually a spider crawling around in my hair. FML
Today, while hiking, I walked face first into a spider web. Freaking out, I shook my hair out in case there was a spider. Later on in the day the spider fell from my hair into my food. FML
Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
Today, while showering at my boyfriend's house early this morning, I saw a huge black spider on the wall. I'm allergic to spiders, so in my disorientation I ran out of the shower screaming, slipped, sprained my wrist, and bruised my tailbone. Turns out the spider was a clump of hair. My hair. FML
Today, I saw a big, black spider on the floor of my bathroom. I promptly jumped up on the toilet seat, slipped off, and slammed my head against the wall. The best part? It was a tuft of my hair. FML
Today, while I was in the shower, I noticed a short, black hair on my loofah. I ignored it and lathered up my entire body with it. When I put it back down, a roach crawled out of it. What I thought was a black hair was in fact its antenna. FML
Today, I was taking off my underwear to change into fresh clothes. Pulling them down, I realize there's a big fat spider in them. Not only did I have a spider chilling with my genitals the whole day, but I'm deathly afraid of them. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
XxRandomMonkeyxX 6
Burn the house and your hair
fffianist 9
You have a spider crawling in your hair right now? You should make a text post about it.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (126)
XxRandomMonkeyxX 6
Burn the house and your hair
LostMy_Marbles 24
Soak in petrol first, just to be sure
cakefete2 31
Not sure what's funnier. Your comment or the fact that your statement fits your profile name perfectly.
incoherentrmblr 22
What do you mean, crawled into you?...
MikaykayUnicorn 36
#60, You made a bad attempt at thread jacking. Read it again. It says onto, not into.
dmcd_39 14
Burn everything
lonewolf621 17
#17 Diesel, it burns for a longer period of time.
incoherentrmblr 22
#64, indeed. My bad for temporary Dyslexia.
incoherentrmblr 22
#79, Napalm works best. That or Jet fuel...
asnakelovinbabe 16
I really don't get the world's hatred of spiders. They're one of the most fascinating group of creatures in existence.
AlwaysWatching 27
Wow that's horrible At least you didn't find one in your bed like I did
sweetbliss3 37
i did once. i didnt sleep in my room for a month. it was horrible.
ohcheriecherie 20
Once I got in bed and was all comfy and then a spider crawled out of the blankets....ugh
omgitsmoe 26
I found a leech sucking blood from my ass , wtf?
LuuLuuu_fml 8
I've woken up with a spider or cockroach crawling on me many times. Ahh, the perks of Australia.
lonewolf621 17
It was probably looking for some tender loving care.
Nuggetzor97 10
Ignore this comment
ipman737 18
That's a hairy situation
loooloool 13
No just no
ipman737 18
I'm sorry someone had to do it
Inkay 13
That was the worst attempt of a pun I've ever seen
warsun 27
Are my eyes bleeding? I feel like my eyes are bleeding
fffianist 9
You have a spider crawling in your hair right now? You should make a text post about it.
Nuggetzor97 10
What
dingostacy 14
That's about the time I start screaming like a little bitch
WD_Stevens 22
I had one fall out of my drawer onto my for and that's exactly what I did. Because I'm just so manly :P
sweetbliss3 37
oh yuck. i had that happen to me the other day. i learned real quick to check my towel now before using it. *shudder*
kewpiesuicide 29
Ok I officially have a new fear...
MRP360 14
same thing happened with me when I stopped checking for cockroaches in my garage and one fell on my arm. needless to say I chopped my arm off immediately
ComoEsJuan 24
i dd te sme thhng bit wit me fungrrs whn i tchd one by axcidenn...
yeahthatsmeee 10
*did *the *same *thing *but *with *my *fingers *when *touched *accident
Miss_Whipped 43
There are a lot more corrections than just that needed.
ComoEsJuan 24
Holy shit. That is the entire point, people.
Brandi_Faith 34
Ahh, I apologize, it seems that a lot of us didn't get the joke. We're just so used to seeing such horrible spelling and text typing on this site the joke flew right over some of us.
Nuggetzor97 10
What