Nearly FMLs

By Bruh15 - 23/02/2016 18:30 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, while in class i realized that I needed to use the bathroom but after asking my teacher for the 10th time she let me go at the END OF CLASS. I ran to the bathroom and right when I got to the toilet I couldn't make the extra inch and I accidentally peed on myself right in front of the it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Gabster - 23/02/2016 18:30 - United States - Lyndhurst

Today, I found out that the dude I've been crushing on and told me he had feelings for me lied, he told me he likes my best friend so he used me to get to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By sugarmama123 - 23/02/2016 18:25 - India - Suri

Today, I realised the guy I was seeing for almost a year was a gold digger, when I began to count all the times where he has never bought water,food,condoms when we were together. He proudly claims to be from a rich family while I'm literally his sugar mama. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 23/02/2016 18:23 - United States - Lehighton

I stopped and offered a kid walking home from school a ride since it was slightly hailing and sleeting, he politely said no and I proceeded to drive to my small town home. There are now two cop cruisers sitting out front of my house...

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By ertyert101 - 23/02/2016 18:22 - United States - Amenia

Today, my motivation reached an all time low when I decided that taking care of my online game was too much work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Senpaichan1996 - 23/02/2016 18:20 - United States - San Francisco

Today, after being bed ridden with a severe case of the cold, as well as migraines, for 3 days, my AP Euro teacher didn't let me write an essay that was done when I was gone. Supposedly because they "went over it yesterday" and I could have cheated by writing a better essay than most. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By An Embarrassed Girl - 23/02/2016 18:13 - United States - New York

Today, as I undressed to change into something more comfortable, the wind blew aside the curtains to expose my bare chest to my peeping, creepy neighbor. His reaction was to wink before continuing to jerk off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By lilmisspiggy - 23/02/2016 18:07 - Canada - Charlottetown

Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his friends that the only reason he calls me "Babe" is because I look "just like that fat pig from the movie". FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 619

You deserved it 1 070

By nonnified - 23/02/2016 18:04 - United States - Cedar Park

Today, my friend asked if I was free tonight. When I told them I wasn't, and that I needed more than 4 hour notice for this kind of stuff, they started acting pissy and saying that I should be there for them no matter what. Sorry for having a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By mybaby - 23/02/2016 17:51 - Ireland - Skerries

Today, I was driving down the highway. As I past a large dump truck, I spotted what looked distinctly like my bike's licence plate. I was later called by my mechanic apologising for a mix up with the scrap yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 23/02/2016 17:43 - Colombia - Bogot?

Today, a student suffered a serious accident at the school I work as a nurse, so while I attended him I asked his friends to call emergencies. All of them immediately started calling 911. It took them about 5 minutes to realize that number didn’t work because we don’t live in the Unites States. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By The Doctor Professor - 23/02/2016 17:37 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I found out the my girlfriend's so called "break" from us to focus on school was just an excuse to screw around with another guy and leave me for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Mr. X - 23/02/2016 17:35 - United States - Southborough

Today, I ate an apple. Everything was going well until I discovered a decapitated beetle inside of the core. Guess what I saw after I spit it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 23/02/2016 17:35 - United States - Atlanta

Today, my boyfriend was at work so I decided to clean his room. I was so excited to surprise him, then I found a used condom in his trash. We don't have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By whateverugh12 - 23/02/2016 17:24 - Lebanon - Beirut

Today, I was in a café with my boyfriend, his birthday is close and his friend & I are surprising him. I changed his contact name into Pizza Deliv so I can stay safe. The waitress whispered something to him, then with a confused face he asked me why would I be texting a delivery guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 23/02/2016 17:07 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, two of my friends told me that they didn't want me at their baby showers. Both claim their reason is that me losing my baby would bring them down. I wouldn't care if they hadn't had me plan their parties because I lost my baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By LadyLenore - 23/02/2016 16:33 - Belgium - Ieper

Today I found out why after a month of working out (doing sit ups and the sort) I always feel sharp pains in my ass. It's not a wrong technique, I've got hemorrhoids, a bunch apparently. I now get to choose between a sporty lifestyle in pain, or giving up and relieving my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By God - 23/02/2016 16:24 - United States - Muskegon

Today, my dad gave me a disk dedicated to baby photos of me and old pictures of family. Not just family photos of us, but on it came with his not-so-secret stash, 2 gigs full, of porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By emotional roller coaster - 23/02/2016 16:19 - United States - Lawton

Today, during helping my boyfriend calm down from an anxiety attack, he made it well known that he wasn't sure that he should be in a relationship at the moment.And actually ended our relationship. I left,went to my friends house and later that night he called me drunk asking why I wasn't home.. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Badtimingismylife - 23/02/2016 15:47 - United States - Bellingham

Today, I haven't been able to get any sleep since I have been violently throwing up all night. My roommate left my dinner out of the fridge for 10 hours, and in desperate hunger I ate it anyway. I am supposed to start my new job in a few hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By FightorFlight - 23/02/2016 15:34 - Australia - High Wycombe

Today, a cute girl asked me to her apartment for coffee. Never having been in such a situation before, I was super awkward. Being nervous upsets my stomach, so after a few strained moments of coffee sipping I took a dump in her toilet and then left right after from the shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 23/02/2016 15:15 - United Kingdom

Today, we had a house viewing. Unfortunately, neither my partner nor I remembered to put away the "toy" we were using last night. Now I understand the awkward silence when the viewers saw our upstairs bathroom. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By Korune - 23/02/2016 15:08 - France - Paris

Today, I found out I couldn't marry the woman of my life because I'm still married to my psycho ex. I called her to find out, and she told me she did that because she didn't want anyone to take her rightful place. My fiancée got scared, and the wedding got cancelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By kitty_Kat777 - 23/02/2016 14:49 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I found out my boyfriend of a year and a half only asked me out because I was drunk and went up to him and flashed him, asking if he wanted a blowjob and then promptly passed out. I don't remember this at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 23/02/2016 14:33 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my feminist English teacher assigned us all debate topics. I was assigned the topic of "Women should receive paid maternity leave". Why is this an issue? I have to explain why women SHOULDN'T get it. I don't even believe that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By CoffeeSuxx - 23/02/2016 14:27 - Canada - Welland

Today after working a very long shift at Tim Hortons, I answered my mom's call by saying "Thanks for choosing tims, my name is [blank] how may i Help you?" To makes things worse my mom went along with it and "ordered" a medium coffee, i then asked her to "drive on up" and then hung up the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By GreekGleek6 - 23/02/2016 14:08 - United States - Cuyahoga Falls

Today, my mom bad began yelling at me saying I basically can't do anything without her. This is the same women who will regularly sleep for two days straight while I make sure she's eating and drinking. But apparently I'm the helpless one. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By WTF - 23/02/2016 13:56 - United States - Bozeman

Today, I was going through my phone that my math teacher took yesterday because I was using it in class and found photos of his dick... FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By runaway112 - 23/02/2016 13:52 - United States - Portland

Today, I walked in on my mom and dad having sex on my bed. I ran out of the room in disgust, while I was on my way downstairs. My dad walked through the front door

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By jeanius715 - 23/02/2016 13:51 - United States - South Gate

Today, I was so sleep deprived from taking care of my new born baby that when I went to go take a piss I didn't notice the toilet seat was down FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

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The Top

Today, I thought it would be a nice idea to take some flowers and candy to a friend whose cat had just passed away. As I was leaving, I ran over her other cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 356

You deserved it 1 885

Today, after years of having seasonal allergies and months of having my throat close up, my mom agreed to see a doctor, only to insult me in front of the doctor, saying I just find new ways to make their lives harder and I'm probably making it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 840

You deserved it 127

Today, my two boys decided to draw in permanent marker on the leather seats of the car I have had up for sale for 3 weeks with no interest. I call my husband to tell him we're going to have to keep it. He just made an appointment with a guy who has cash and is ready to buy it tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 031

You deserved it 5 221

Today, I was so hungry and broke that I resorted to drinking salad dressing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 997

You deserved it 1 247

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. After a while, he started staring at my lady parts, and said my "vag looks like a mockingjay". He then stretched the lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 626

You deserved it 10 036

Today, I had my first driving lesson. I learned how to be stopped by a cop, who told me what a horrible driver I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 021

You deserved it 3 965