Nearly FMLs

By Anonymous - 23/02/2016 13:47 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I got hit in the face by my boyfriend for saying he doesn't respect women. Point and Check. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By fuzzyvisioninthenight - 23/02/2016 13:44 - Germany - Hamburg

Today, I arrived 20 mins early to my eye doctor. After 15mins of waiting it's my turn and I describe what my condition is. Then I get sent back to wait for 45 mins. The doctor sent me to her collegue. I described it again, and the new one sends me home, saying she's got no idea what I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By random1456 - 23/02/2016 13:38 - Australia - Rose Bay

Today, I'm currently crying in bed with an ice pack on my mouth. The denist said 'the x Ray says nothing is wrong' but the tooth causing my whole face to throb says otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By CalixQyu - 23/02/2016 13:06 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I realized that my now ex girlfriend was only dating me to get closer to my lesbian sister. I was her excuse to get closer to my sister. It worked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Logan - 23/02/2016 12:57 - United States - Miami

Today, I found out why I can't get anyone to talk to me at college. It's because on the first day my "friend" put a sticker on my back saying that I "eat shit for a living" and people think I'm a freak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By dizzyonlemonade - 23/02/2016 12:49 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I was so sleep deprived, instead of putting my biopsychology folder, I put a slow cooker recipe book in my bag. My group were pissed because I forgot the work I spent all night doing. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By ViviChenny - 23/02/2016 12:47 - Australia - Noble Park

Today, the government told me that they don't see my job is a real job because I'm underpaid and will not give me money to help me out. However, if my pay is raised to the standard minimum wage, I'll be earning enough and they don't need to give me money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 2

By 100s of dollars wasted - 23/02/2016 12:38 - United States - Greer

Today, after spending hundreds of dollars on me and my girlfriends 1 year anniversary, she gave me the gift of taking the present then breaking up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By average_auzziez - 23/02/2016 12:36 - Australia - Hawthorn

Today, my hiccups were so violent they made me vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By average_auzziez - 23/02/2016 12:31 - Australia - Hawthorn

Today, I realised that while all my friends are starting families I haven't even had my first kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By AVRaman - 23/02/2016 12:30 - United States

Today, my manager at my restaurant yelled at me for leaving the coleslaw out overnight on Saturday. I don't even work on Saturdays. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By alexis2017 - 23/02/2016 12:23 - United States - Hampton

The other day I spilled my heart out to my boyfriend about how I feel like we are drifting apart and I do not want us to lose each other. His response? "I have no idea what you are talking about, oh and babe btw I have to cancel this weekend, I will not be here". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 23/02/2016 12:23 - United Kingdom - Criccieth

Today, I got diagnosed with gallstones and a severe gallbladder infection, I have been suffering immense pain since May but my doctor was 100% sure it was just acid reflux and prescribing me antacids. He still thinks his diagnosis is correct even after evidence it's not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By OhThatsNasty - 23/02/2016 12:20 - United States - Nashville

Today, the guy beside of me popped a zit. Normally this wouldn't be an issue, but normally the pimple juice wouldn't find it's way into my then-yawning mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Kay42 - 23/02/2016 12:18 - United States - Abbeville

Today, I woke up late. So I ate a quick breakfast and hastly got dressed. I drove to school only to realize that there was no school due to teacher inservice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By anonymous - 23/02/2016 12:18 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I bit into a bagel and my fake tooth, which had been attached to my braces, fell out. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By alexis2017 - 23/02/2016 12:18 - United States - Hampton

This morning my mum banned me from ever wearing sweatpants. This would not be a problem if her reason being was not that she is jealous about how big my butt is and she does not have a butt at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By ErinShannon - 23/02/2016 11:48 - Australia - Horningsea Park

Today, instead of having sex with my boyfriend because he fell asleep, I hit the 900th page of The Best Of All Time FML's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 23/02/2016 11:30 - Canada - Lethbridge

Today, I had just woken up from a sensual dream and was experiencing some back pain. so I decided to do what I normally would and ask my sister to step on my back for me. Unfortunately I still had the dream on my mind so I accidentally asked if she could "sit on my face" instead. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By a stressed new dad - 23/02/2016 10:56 - United States

I started working again last month and have caught up on all of the bills except our car. I woke up today to find out that I got my income tax deposited into my account and I could finally catch up on our car payment. I walk outside to drive to the dealership to pay them 1400 in cash and the car has been repossessed.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Bok_Choi - 23/02/2016 10:51 - Australia - Sydney

Today, on my way to uni, which is only about 5 mins away from my home, I tried a different route.. I walked across the crossing, acknowledging the car for letting me pass, but I looked at the driver, and I saw my mother and two of her friends, all naked. I don't know how much bleach I'll need. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By ReverseOsmosis - 23/02/2016 10:45 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I am studying for a sleep physiology test by staying up all night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By stuck - 23/02/2016 10:44 - Netherlands

Today I found out my cyst is actually a baby, I was still taking the pil. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By ouch - 23/02/2016 10:43 - United Kingdom - Chatteris

Today, I began to use a porta-potty before I noticed a huge wasp nest on the ceiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By meinranda - 23/02/2016 10:14

Today, at my job working graveyard shift I found out that it's considered racist to tell someone not to make racist comments. now I have a write up and have to redo online work about employee sensitivity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By squirt0215 - 23/02/2016 10:11 - United States - Hixton

Today, at 3:30 this morning my neighbour didn't have his house keys so pounded on the door for an hour trying to in. Instead of who ever in his house waking up, he woke me and my 3 month old child up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By tackblog - 23/02/2016 08:57 - Australia - Lesmurdie

Today, I opened my roommate's mail by mistake. Turns out he's not legally allowed to be within 500 meters of a school or playground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By ascaredman - 23/02/2016 08:26 - Malaysia - Kuala Lumpur

Today, I checked my voice recording to see if I was actually snoring out of curiosity. I didn't hear anything but the sound of doorknob moving and the door being open and then closed. I live alone and the audio was taken last night when I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 771

You deserved it 499

By MzZombicidal - 23/02/2016 07:48 - United States

Today, I told my 22-year-old, white as snow, brother to stop using the n-word all the time. He told me to quit being such a feminist... FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By storyofmylife - 23/02/2016 07:25 - United States - Biloxi

Today, after finally gaining my confidence back about working because of many unfair terminations, my boss fired me out of nowhere. To make it worse, she looked like she was about to laugh when I started to cry, so much for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

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The Top

Today, I met what I thought was a decent guy, via an introduction by my pregnant friend. She's dating his brother. The guy was dropping my friend and me off, but on the way out of the door he slapped her on the butt and smiled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 837

You deserved it 115

Today, the rash on my thigh started itching again. I felt good after a vigorous scratch, but the relief did not extend to my roommate, who only saw me at my laptop with my hand moving up and down in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 634

You deserved it 8 350

Today, I tried to beat my dad to the car. I jumped over the steel cables in the parking structure and hit my head on a metal pipe, then bounced off the wires, and onto my back on the pavement. Good thing we were already at the hospital to visit my sick mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 610

You deserved it 26 805

Today, my 80 year-old grandad is having more sex in his retirement home than I am as a married man. And by that I mean his care staff had to call me to say they found him having sex. That’s once this year, whereas I’ve not had sex with my wife in three years. I can’t afford to divorce her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 212

Today, I uploaded a photo of myself at the beach on Facebook. The first comment it got was "Wow!! If I was 20 yrs younger, oh boy ;)". Yeah, thanks for that, grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 673

You deserved it 2 900

Today, I was walking my dog. Suddenly, my insane neighbor who loves dogs a bit too much comes over and asks to pet my dog. I say OK, thinking that if I watch her, she won't do anything. I turn around to make sure no cars are coming and when I turn back, she's trying to steal my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 422

You deserved it 3 654