Intimacy: Today, I was masturbating to some porn in my bathroom. I heard... - FML

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By Annon - 23/02/2016 18:45 - United States - Mandeville

Today, I was masturbating to some porn in my bathroom. I heard a knock on the door, it was my brother asking me what I was watching. Apparently, my Amazon echo decided to connect to my tablet filling the house with HD sounds of porn. When I came out. I found my family crowded around the speaker.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

No comments yet.

Comments

No comments yet.

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Parenting Poopoo peepee Kids Family Cheating Love NSFW Fight Awkward Sex Intimacy Lonely Shopping AITA Work Make up Money Miscellaneous Dreams Medication Liar Weird Embarrassing Weddings Anniversary Health Confused Healthy Lifestyle Neighbours Noise

The Top

The Top

Today, I went out to dinner with my brother. There was a very attractive man sitting a few tables away who kept glancing at me. When my brother excused himself to the bathroom, the man worked up the courage to come over and introduce himself to me. He asked me if my brother was single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 100

You deserved it 5 217

Today, after I started living with siblings to save money during pandemic, one of them has struggled to pay rent and after 2 years now owes me $10,000, which I will likely never see. I told him this is an unfair living situation, and will not be extending the lease. Now he's acting like a victim and treating me like an asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 140

You deserved it 197

Today, my dad overheard me and my girlfriend having a very personal conversation. His response was to burst into the room and ground me for a month for failing to get her to orgasm the last 3 times we had sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 947

You deserved it 2 449

Today, I woke up hungover and went to the kitchen for some food. I saw what I thought was a blueberry muffin. Halfway through eating it, I realized I couldn’t taste any blueberries, so I tried another one. I then remembered my dad telling me to throw out any old food we had. It was mould. FML

I agree, your life sucks 561

You deserved it 1 871

Today, I was in an elevator with my family and a family I didn't know. I was about to press the number when somebody came up behind me. I thought it was my brother trying to press the number first, so I aggressivly pushed him out of the way. Turns out it was the other family's ten year old son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 976

You deserved it 61 358

Today, my brother looked me dead in the eyes and said his life goal is to find a way to jizz on everyone in the world. I'm scared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 612

You deserved it 5 613