Nearly FMLs

By Anonymous - 23/02/2016 02:05 - United States - Belleville

Today, I was playing volleyball , and when we were done I went to the main school's office waiting for my ride, a little kid asked me if I was a boy or girl, I have boobs, a ponytail and look like a girl, he simply said, "you're just ugly" I got dissed by a second grader. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By coveredinvomit - 23/02/2016 01:44 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, while all the dogs in my kennel were playing outside together, one threw up. Multiple dogs started to eat that vomit, and violently throw up as well. I spent half an hour running around, trying to stop the dogs from each other's vomit, all while I had a date in an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By rakk101 - 23/02/2016 01:32 - United States - Fort Campbell

Today, being in the military, and living in the barracks this morning we were informed that we had a room inspection tomorrow. After 6+ hours of scrubbing, 3 hours of it on my hands and knees. I received a text saying "You have staff duty tomorrow. Don't worry about the room inspection". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By THEDUDE1553566 - 23/02/2016 01:27 - United States

Today, I was taking a math test and was doing well until I came upon this one particular question. It was standard, it was about a women named Jenny who was charged obscene amounts for long distance calling. I wanted to yell at her for paying so much so bad I forgot to finish the test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By wtfiswiththisshit - 23/02/2016 01:21 - United States - Belleville

Today, my school went onto a code red lock down, meaning everyone stays silent in a locked room. The kid next to me let one rip. I still don't understand how a fart could smell so bad. FML

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You deserved it 0

By msmith120 - 23/02/2016 01:16 - United States - Fredericktown

Today, I called SSDI to update my 2 year old sons address and they told me I couldn't because there is no mother on file. I'm his biological mother. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By skittleturkey - 23/02/2016 01:09 - United States - Lake Charles

Today, I texted my boyfriend asking him if he took my phone. Using my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By JordanM - 23/02/2016 01:08 - United States - Encinitas

Today, my laptop was stolen. When I got into work, my boss fired me. The person who stole it bought 75 dollars worth of private porn and my boss thought it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Broke and Beaten Down - 23/02/2016 01:05 - United States - Royersford

Today, I did the math and found out that I can no longer afford my apartment. My mother wants to sell her house and move away, my dad doesn't have the space, as he downgraded when I first moved out. I have nowhere to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Mlkshke4 - 23/02/2016 01:05 - United States - Richmond

Today, my extremely clingy, abusive, and controlling ex who I told I was a lesbian to break up with found out I wasn't. I am afraid to leave my own home. FML

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You deserved it 0

By jordan - 23/02/2016 01:00 - United States - Palmdale

Today, I got home from work early to see my boyfriend of 2 years making out with my twin brother. He said he thought it was me. We aren't identical. FML

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You deserved it 0

By brbsbsjxjfnd - 23/02/2016 00:57 - United States - Vallejo

Today, "fuck all da bitch's" was what my six year old said at day care. FML

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You deserved it 0

By nick - 23/02/2016 00:43 - United States - Encinitas

Today, my girlfriend was sleeping next to me. I thought it would be cute if I took a photo of her sleeping. I had flash on. The flash woke her up and she started yelling at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By Makaze - 23/02/2016 00:40 - United States - Moncks Corner

Today, I learned I live in a state that wants Trump as president for reasons such as "I think maybe he'll raise the minimum wage to like maybe $10, $7 ain't s***". These people don't even know the stances of the man. FML.

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You deserved it 0

By worstkitty - 23/02/2016 00:23 - United States - Palmdale

Today my nephew, who is 8, used my computer. He went on my email and saw a confirmation email for a vibrator purchase. He then proceeded to ask my sister in law what that was and why I was buying it. I don't think shes too happy with me. FML

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You deserved it 0

By spirirflame3222 - 23/02/2016 00:16 - Canada - Toronto

Today, after 3 weeks of messaging back and forth with a guy I liked, we decided to meet up, he decided today was the day to block my number. FML

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You deserved it 0

By worstkitty - 23/02/2016 00:12 - United States - Encinitas

Today my teacher gave me an F on my paper. It was a well written paper and I followed the guidelines exactly. She failed me because of my spelling. She knows I'm dyslexic. FML

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You deserved it 0

By please don't cry - 23/02/2016 00:08 - United States - Denver

Today, my mom was asking me about what I was thinking about because I've been down on the weather for a while. I finally spilled out all my stress, my feeling of uselessness and how I feel like I'm not going to accomplish anything. At the end of it she was crying. FML

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You deserved it 0

By myluck - 22/02/2016 23:58 - Canada - Ajax

Today, after four months of waiting in pain, my wisdom teeth surgery had to be pushed back two more months. Why? Because I have bronchitis. FML

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You deserved it 0

By deathstep - 22/02/2016 23:52 - United States - Marion

Today, my Spanish teacher failed me on an oral test because I didn't use a "diverse enough vocabulary." I used literally every word she taught us, but she said I was supposed to do "more learning outside of class." She never told the class that. At least I'm not the only one who failed. FML.

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You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 22/02/2016 23:49 - Lebanon - Beirut

Today, my mom woke me up from my nap because i needed to study.I somehow managed to slip as i tried standing up. Apparently my charming mother had soaked my feet with vaseline before slipping my socks back on. FML.

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You deserved it 0

By KawaiiLettuce - 22/02/2016 23:48 - United States - Simi Valley

Today, I realised that my only friend only wants to 'Hang Out' with me, so I could drive her to where her other friends are. "You look tired... maybe you should take a nap in the car?" is not a believable excuse. FML.

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You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 22/02/2016 23:33 - United States - Graham

Today, I was driving home late and a stoner dude jumped out of the bushes and ran at my car all crazy. It was my best friends son and I had to call her and tell her what was happening. Someone else called the cops. She blamed me for giving him drugs. I've never even tried drugs. FML.

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You deserved it 0

By 914smv - 22/02/2016 23:05 - United States - Portland

Today, I came into my parents brand new apartment to find my 3 yr old and 1 yr old playing with eggs on the carpet of the living room. FML

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You deserved it 0

By anonymous - 22/02/2016 23:03 - United States - West Des Moines

Today, I walked into my place of work to find my fellow coworker poorly chopping vegetables for another product we produce. Trying to help, I tried to show him the proper (and easy) way to use a chefs knife; he then began shouting at me, saying that because he was 40 he knew better than me. FML

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You deserved it 0

By tacopretzel - 22/02/2016 22:28 - United States - Valrico

Today, my parents got divorced, and argued more about who was going to get the family dog than to have me and my brother. FML

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By Max - 22/02/2016 22:27 - Germany

Today, I once again want to smash my own testicles with a brick for thinking having kids was a good idea. My son is so brainless that today when a "DOOR TO DOOR TV REPAIR MAN!!!!!!!!!" came to our house he gave him 2 TV's, my laptop and his own Xbox to be repaired, even though they all work fine FML

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You deserved it 0

By help - 22/02/2016 22:24 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I was two hours early for a flight because I keep missing them. It's too bad I wrote the date down wrong and was two days late. FML

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You deserved it 0

By OutcastPotato - 22/02/2016 22:23 - United States - Danby

Today, someone matched with me on Tinder only to ask for "My cute friend's" number who is in one of my pictures...FML

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You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 22/02/2016 22:22 - United States - Compton

Today, I may get kicked out of the house I share and pay rent at with a friend. My crime, not allowing her physically and mentally abusive ex to come around. FML

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend told me I’m clearly turning into my mother. I turned round to have a go at him when I stopped, thought about it, and realised he’s completely right. I’m just like her. Now I’m so depressed, I don’t know if I want booze, a relaxing bath, or a really long, ugly crying session. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 721

You deserved it 460

Today, I came home late from work. As I got out of my car, I noticed a child-shaped silhouette in my bedroom window. I almost shat myself, since I live alone. I searched the whole house, sobbing in fear, only to find no trace of whatever or whoever I'd seen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 987

You deserved it 3 691

Today, I was taking a bath and needed shampoo. I leaned on the soap holder to get some and it came off the wall. Huge ants started pouring out running up the walls, down the walls, EVERYWHERE. I ran out of the bathroom screaming, completely naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 952

You deserved it 6 778

Today, my husband took me out for my birthday dinner. When it was time to pay, he took out a stack of gift cards. I asked where he got them, and he said he got them as a bundle at Costco, and saved sixty bucks on the meal. He then got annoyed with me when I told him it made me not want birthday sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 791

Today, I had a consultation for an upcoming surgery I need done. The doctor (who is very handsome and in his late twenties) asked me to flex my stomach and act like I was trying to use the bathroom. As I was enjoying him touching my stomach, I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 004

You deserved it 8 647

Today, I witnessed my first drunken bar brawl. Yes, my 54-year-old husband was one of the participants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 657

You deserved it 242