Nearly FMLs

By Confused (Ex)-Husband? - 24/02/2016 06:23 - United States - Sacramento

Today, my wife and I decided to get a divorce weeks ago. I went on a date with a nice girl and slept with her. My wife decided she wants to work things out and asks me to break things off with the nice girl. I do, and now wife wants a divorce b/c I slept with the nice girl. "Ex" already knew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By sad - 24/02/2016 06:21 - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, my best friend stole my 2 dogs and 4 cats. She was annoyed that I was moving school. I'm moving because I was bullied because of my skin colour and I'm gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By cutthroatkait - 24/02/2016 05:51 - United States

Today, I went to an urgent care to get medicine for my apparent sinus infection. Now I cant leave the bathroom because the medicine has given me diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By prezkal - 24/02/2016 05:50 - United States - Oak Harbor

Today, my english teacher lost my essay i spent hours working on. I have an hour to redo it from memory. It was 10 pages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By JusTheo - 24/02/2016 05:40 - United States - Winona

Today, I was told by my school that I have to go to court for truancy, it normally would be my fault except the fact that I was in a coma for 2 months and they didn't accept my doctors note as "legitimate". FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Severely Stressed - 24/02/2016 05:36 - United States - Russellville

Today, I got a call from my mom asking if I had completed my scholarship. When I told her that I was working on it and would finish it this weekend, she told me that it was due this Friday. Several minutes later, we realize that the site had the wrong date and that it is, in fact, due Friday. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By sbiajs - 24/02/2016 05:32 - United States - San Diego

Today, my mom told me that I wasn't going to go anywhere in life and that no one would hire me...all because the way I hold a fork is "improper". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By bigboom1221 - 24/02/2016 05:06 - United States - Olathe

Today, I was at a high school basketball game and there were these two girls taking what I thought where selfies but apparently they where on snap chat taking pictures of me and saying that I'm dating one of them. I have a girlfriend and she just broke up with me because she thinks im cheeting.FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By M_Underwood - 24/02/2016 05:05 - United States - Carrollton

Today, my puppy mistook me for a toilet. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By turtledude01 - 24/02/2016 04:45 - United States - Duluth

Today, I've only had my dog for a day. He got out while I was at school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 24/02/2016 04:37 - United States - Keene

Today, I threw up doing a blowjob. All over by bf's crotch and the carpet. It splashed back into my face and inspired more heaves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Fucking hell - 24/02/2016 04:27 - United States - Orange

Today, I realized I have an irrational fear: toilets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By wth - 24/02/2016 04:27 - Saudi Arabia - Riyadh

Today, my fiance broke up with me over a text and through his best friend ,as he didn't have the courage to tell me himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By lolatmylife - 24/02/2016 04:26 - United States - Shepherdsville

Today, my close family cousin decided to block me on all social media, date my ex of 2 years, and says that "just because me and him didn't work out doesn't mean that it won't with her." We broke up because he cheated on me. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By embarrassing - 24/02/2016 04:23 - United States - Abbeville

Today, I went to the doctor and as she walked in I let out a big fart. She acted as if nothing happened and continued checking me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By barfingcat21 - 24/02/2016 04:23 - United States - Woodbury

Today, I had some very expensive computer parts I ordered arrive. My brother put them in my room and forgot to close my door, so my puppy decide to rip the box open and pee all over them.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By winterwool - 24/02/2016 04:23 - United States - Atlanta

Today, my significant other yelled at me for not shaving. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By I'm done - 24/02/2016 04:18 - United States - Hopkinsville

Today, I had to listen to a group of high school seniors go on and on that didn't have to apply for scholarships or get good grades because after Bernie Sanders becomes president, college will be "free"

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By dumbdodge - 24/02/2016 04:09 - United States

Today, on my way home from work I stopped for gas, gave the attendant my debit card, and requested ten regular.. as it turns out I'm broke and I wound up with seventy seven cents worth of gas and an empty checking account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By MysticPizza - 24/02/2016 04:08 - United States - New Castle

Today, I got a paper cut from the Bandaid box while getting a bandaid for another cut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By whatup1 - 24/02/2016 03:49 - Canada - North York

Today, after trying for months, my wife announced the she's pregnant. She also said the that she will be aborting the baby because, "I have a lot on my plate at work right now". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By AllyJoy28 - 24/02/2016 03:46 - United States - Katy

Today, I realized that I can make more money gambling than at my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By MrConfusion - 24/02/2016 03:41 - United States - Woodland Hills

Today, I saw a hot girl from my school driving down my street. She rolled down her window, and hoping she would say hi to me, I said hello. She said hey to my dog, which I was walking, and drove off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By bookwormgoddess - 24/02/2016 03:38

Today, I was let go from my job. It was seasonal work but I was promised the real job by the hiring manager 2 weeks ago. The guy who fired me said it was because of hours and I should have been planning for this. I found out at the end of my shift he gave the job to someone else. Rent is due. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By totally screwed - 24/02/2016 03:17 - United States - Evansville

Today, after a terrible one night stand I go to work, only to find out that the guy I had sex with was my new General Manager's husband. The look on his face when he seen me was enough to totally tell his wife what had happened. FML!

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By MickMackFace - 24/02/2016 03:06 - Canada - Calgary

Today, my best friend of 8 years cut off our friendship because I chose different classes than her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 24/02/2016 03:02 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I just got out of the hospital after sustaining an injury to my penis. Now I know what it's like to be fucked so hard that it literally breaks. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Badluckolsen - 24/02/2016 02:35 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was taking a shower. My four year old decided it was time to flush the toilet downstairs. Repeatedly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 24/02/2016 02:33 - United States - Heber Springs

After 3 years of marriage and staying with my "current" wife through cancer, court ordered relocation, and dhs hoops I find out today that I am still legally married to my first wife after sending her $895 for the divorce 17 years ago.... FML......

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Bamsauce1234321 - 24/02/2016 02:12 - United States - Elmore

Today, my girlfriend of two years and I were both horny. However, instead of having sex with me, she masturbated to porn because sex with me "takes too long". The worst part is, she doesn't like me watching porn, so I couldn't do the same. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

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The Top

Today, I'm at North Fort Hood deploying with the Army Reserves, where the motto is, "You'll prefer to be in Iraq." We're in COVID quarantine with over 100 people in our barracks. We may never get out of here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 899

You deserved it 140

Today, my husband purposefully said something to upset me. When I asked why he would do that, he told me it was to test my Prozac. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 850

You deserved it 4 256

Today, my boyfriend has been grumpy for days, because his essay on society's fixation with performance, winning awards and getting good grades got a somewhat disappointing grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 989

You deserved it 123

Today, I had to cancel all of the plans to go away on a romantic weekend with my boyfriend. My parents are going out of town for a night and I have to stay home a babysit my little sister. She's 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 775

You deserved it 5 120

Today, I was so parched I had to take way too long at the water fountain. I was drinking for so long a line started to form. As I finished my drink, the guy behind me puked on my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 422

You deserved it 535

Today, I am 9,958 miles away from home, it's 3 pm, and I have to find a store that sells electrical tape because my cats damaged my computer's charging cord back home. I just saw the copper inside the wire and I'm lucky the damn thing didn't catch fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 127