Nearly FMLs

By EmployeeOfTheMonth - 23/02/2016 07:14 - United States - Canoga Park

Today, my supervisor at my second job fired me, basically saying that I'm just not a fit for their company. It's a volunteer position. Even my unpaid labor apparently isn't good enough for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Concussion From Football - 23/02/2016 07:10 - United States - Morristown

Today, I was playing football with my friends. It was fun until someone decided to throw the football at the back of my head when i wasn't looking. I now have a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By randomuserlolol - 23/02/2016 07:07 - United States - Newark

Today, I was on ifunny when one of those videos that scream really loud came on. I, being the idiot I am, forgot to turn off my volume in class. I managed to not get my phone taken away, but now everyone thinks I fell asleep and had a nightmare in class and the scream was mine. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By worksucks - 23/02/2016 06:58 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I tried to call into work because I was feeling dizzy and could barely stand. They told me I had to come in or I was fired. After 10 minutes of working, I fainted. They want to fire me for "causing a scene". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By tigerRaWr84 - 23/02/2016 06:37 - United States - Port Washington

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time, if you could call it that. He lost his hard after the first few seconds and I'm still not sure if I'm technically a virgin or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By el_indio - 23/02/2016 06:28 - United States - El Paso

Today, My girlfriend of 6 months told me not to freakout while I was holding her, immediately I started to get nervous, she told me she loved me, I panicked and said I love food, she thought i didn't take her seriously so she broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By tigerRaWr84 - 23/02/2016 06:22 - United States - Port Washington

Today, I realized that my brother has been "sneakily" stealing my money. It started with the change jar I've been saving up for years which is missing at least $70. Now he's moved to another $50 from my wallet. The worst part is that the idiot didn't think I'd notice. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 23/02/2016 06:21 - United States - San Francisco

Today after growing my hair out for seven months I am cutting it off because my manager decided after a month of observation that suddenly it wasn't work appropriate and and told me to cut it, afterwards laughing with another employee about me being upset. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 23/02/2016 06:12 - United States - Port Washington

Today my mom cleared my bank account once again. Usually I'd be okay with it if she actually told me so I didn't have to put back the things I was trying to buy and this didn't push the iou over $10,000. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Imnotfilipina - 23/02/2016 05:47 - United States - Berrien Springs

Today, I was in the middle of making love with my boyfriend when he loudly started to sing the national anthem of the Philippines. He enthusiastically thrust to the beat, complete with coordinated intensity of melody and thrusting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By o.O - 23/02/2016 05:41 - United States - Broomfield

Today, I discovered that the guy who has been creeping on my friend somehow obtained my phone number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By smfh - 23/02/2016 05:37 - United States - Seattle

Today, someone asked me if you could "get pregnant from like, in the butt", direct quote, no joke. He seriously thought it was possible, and I had to explain in detail why you couldn't, and he still doesn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By jumpy - 23/02/2016 05:36 - Canada

Today, my friends found out that as a result of childhood trauma - I am especially prone to being scared by doors creaking open. How did they find out? At 3am when one of them was leaving to the bathroom resulting in me shrieking like a ghoul. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By NotPartOfTheWeddingAnymore - 23/02/2016 05:35 - Canada - Medicine Hat

Today, I got my period while trying on bridesmaid dresses. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By oinker - 23/02/2016 05:34 - United States - Hialeah

Today, my obese coworker looked me up and down sympathetically and said "You need to lose weight." I'm 5"3 and weigh 110 pounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 23/02/2016 05:18 - United States - Walnut Creek

Today, after getting up to use the restroom I made the terrible discovery that the boxers I had been wearing for two hours through "family" movie night had had the "pee pee pocket" as my family calls it wide open the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By carfool - 23/02/2016 05:15 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was so tired after only getting three hours of sleep the last two days I tried to use my car remotes unlock button to unlock the door to my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Exhaustedgirl - 23/02/2016 05:14 - United States - Charleston

Today, my husbands lawyer boss grabbed my breasts for the 5th time, if I tell him he will flip and lose his job. I am taking sexual harassment for his high paying job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By onlythebest01 - 23/02/2016 05:12 - United States - Turlock

Today, I was excited to check the winning numbers on the lottery for a ticket I had bought. All the numbers matched. I called my boss and told him to shove his work up his ***. Checked the lottery ticket and it's for Wednesday's drawing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 2

By SkillUpSkillet - 23/02/2016 05:09 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, I worked for 10 hours, followed immediately by an 8 hour long mandatory training for my new job. I planned on a short nap before going back to work... until I was forcibly dragged into a family dispute. 10 more hours of work again before I can sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Meowbaby9 - 23/02/2016 05:00 - United States

Today, I found out that on my birthday my best friends wife wanted to get me drunk and sleep with me. When I didn't do it she got upset and convinced my boyfriend to work on her car the entire day so he wouldn't spend time with me. I couldn't leave without him being stuck there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By really?!?! - 23/02/2016 04:51 - United States - Boardman

Today, Me and my boyfriend were getting lunch when all of a sudden he sees his friends. I then found out that he is embarrassed of me and that's why he refuses me to meet his parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By whybrowhy - 23/02/2016 04:34 - United States - Southfield

Today, My parents are splitting up and my mom turned to me and said this is your fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 23/02/2016 04:30 - United States - Miami

After a long day at work I get home to my lovely wife who's been owing me alone time for a while now, she promised she'd wear something sexy tonight so I rushed to the shower. She yelled at me to hurry up because she left me a "cute" note on the bed to get things started. It read "I want a divorce".

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Ansley - 23/02/2016 04:20 - United States - Waterbury

Today, my 18 year old brother asked our parents if he's adopted, because his friend had asked why we're all white, and he's Hispanic. My brother thought that he just had really tan skin. He was 6 when our parents adopted him. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Username - 23/02/2016 04:15 - United States - Arvada

Today, I had dinner with my girlfriend's parents. It was going well until her mother offered me wine, I declined. Her father then accused me of being an alcoholic and threw me out. My father was an alcoholic until he died of overdose. I don't drink because addiction runs in my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By TeaboMan - 23/02/2016 04:11 - United States - Valdosta

Today, I told my parents that I supported gays. They told me that they supported me being grounded for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By RageWolf16 - 23/02/2016 04:07 - United States

Today, I was babysitting two little girls. They were giggling as I tried to get them calmed down for bed, and suddenly the oldest froze and whispered that she "laughed too hard". Apparently, she has a fragile digestive system, and didn't take her meds today. I don't get paid enough for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 23/02/2016 04:06 - United States - Auburn

I had to help the girl of my dreams make a prom-posal for another guy. Not quite how I thought the evening would go, especially since I had my own prom-posal for her outside on her car.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By foreveralone - 23/02/2016 04:05 - United States - Everett

Today, a boy finally asked me for my phone number! The downside is it was one of the special needs kids I work with and he followed up with "so we can have a playdate sometime!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

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The Top

Today, after dating a guy for 2 months, things seemed to be going well. I offered to buy dinner and trusted he would keep in mind that I'm a college student on a budget. He picked the restaurant, ran up the bill over $100, made me pay, and dumped me right after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 191

You deserved it 681

Today, I visited my son at his university accommodations and noticed he's clearly never cleaned it since he moved in two years ago. I tried cleaning it myself, but gave up entirely when I found what looked like mushrooms growing out of an old takeout container. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 821

You deserved it 2 497

Today, the dry skin on my feet has gotten so bad that my boyfriend uses my feet to itch his legs when we're cuddling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 550

You deserved it 21 941

Today, I have scratched both my ankles so hard and for so long that they started bleeding, and they still itch. I have no idea what I’m allergic to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 122

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs at college. I was taken to hospital with a fractured ankle and had to call my parents to drive me home. They constantly made passive-aggressive remarks on the way home, because I'd "totally ruined" their plans to eat out at a fancy restaurant tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 796

You deserved it 3 692

Today, at school I was sitting with a friend outside, talking about irregular periods and unshaven legs. Ten minutes into the conversation, a teacher sticks her head out the window above us and tells us to leave. We were distracting a classroom who were trying to finish a test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 987

You deserved it 22 440