Nearly FMLs

By Etweens96 - 23/02/2016 22:17 - United States

Today, a skunk got into my college campus. Imagine having to sit three hours in class with the scent of skunk lingering in the air vents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By anon - 23/02/2016 22:09 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I got back from a couple of nights away. I asked a family member to feed my dogs while I was away. Only one can of food should have been used. Instead, they had been fed a months worth of food in three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By jj - 23/02/2016 22:07 - United States - Charlotte

Today, I bled through my underwear after knowing I put a tampon in. Turns out the tampon has managed to get sucked into my vagina. And I can't find it. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 23/02/2016 22:04 - United States

Today, My body was feeling very sore but I hadn't done anything productive so I went to the doctor and she decided to do a full body exam. I had to strip down and after she was done told me everything was fine. A few days later in hell I went to another doctor and they told me I have bronchitis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By anon - 23/02/2016 21:50 - United States - Birmingham

Today, me and my four year old were making crafts. He loves glitter. So much that he started throwing glitter at me and our cat. Our cat still has glitter in it's fur. I still have glitter in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By CreepedOut - 23/02/2016 21:47 - United States - Fitzgerald

Today, as I was tucking my 5 year old in, I told her, "I love you," and she whispered back, "I love you, too, but not as much as I love my other mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 232

You deserved it 200

By imabitchychick - 23/02/2016 21:44 - United States - Denver

Today, being over-worked and exhausted I walked straight into the men's restroom at Walmart. Not once, but three times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 23/02/2016 21:40 - United Kingdom - London

Today I was putting old junk mail into a shredder. Turns out a letter containing my credit card got shredded too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 23/02/2016 21:40 - United States - Bear

Today, i saw my ex only now with twins. i said "aw their adorable, who's the father?" she then got nervous and said i am. She also said she avoided telling me because she thought i wouldn't want to be involved. The whole reason she dumped me is because SHE never wanted kids.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By j666j - 23/02/2016 21:38 - United States - Jamestown

Today, my two best friends broke up. I was comforting the girl, and her head was on my shoulder (she was crying). The guy walked in and accused me of cheating with his girlfriend and she got mad because I talk to her ex. Now they both hate me and got back together over their mutual hatred. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Really? - 23/02/2016 21:22 - Australia - Surry Hills

Today, I tried to call in sick because I've been unwell. My boss just responded that i must be up to something because I've left work early two days in a row. True... For doctors appointments. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Destroyed - 23/02/2016 21:19 - United States - Bristol

Today, I wrote my boyfriend a long sappy love letter telling him how I love him and that he's the one. Also today I found out he cheated on my with one of my friends. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By single - 23/02/2016 21:10 - United States - Kansas City

Today, I was trying to flirt with my crush and I wasn't really getting anywhere with him. After 30 minutes of that my best friend made eye contact with him. No big deal right? My crush then got up from his seat and asked her out. She said yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By sodone - 23/02/2016 21:03 - United States - Bayonne

Today, I got grounded until further notice for not handing in an assignment in school,apparently my dad forget that he took it out to look at, and never put it back in my bag. Not allowed to anything but study until further notice.FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By gentleman54 - 23/02/2016 20:33 - United States - Piqua

Today, my supervisor claims he caught me sleeping on the job. I had been staring at a computer all day and needed to rest my eyes for a minute. He won't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By sick and pissed - 23/02/2016 20:32 - United States - Norcross

Today, I got strep again. The play that I'm in opens tomorrow. This would be okay if the same thing had not happened two years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Triplethreat - 23/02/2016 20:17 - Netherlands - Groningen

Today, my birds were noisy, so my mom put them outside without me knowing. I got bit by a spider, and she forgot about the birds because I couldn't walk. The parakeets froze to death. My mom is angry because I'm upset they're dead. So I can't walk, my birds died, and my mom is mad. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By yayme - 23/02/2016 19:57 - United States - Los Angeles

Today my ph levels down there decided to go out of whack. Today is also the day our water got shut off and my roommate failed to warn me. Now I'm gonna smell like fish cooked in ammonia until we magically come up with $500 FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Lovee_gal94 - 23/02/2016 19:48 - United States - San Jose

Today, when i got home & I see the my niece with her back towards me (3years old) who has my bra wrapped around her head.. as i smile thinking shes the most adorbale thing in the world; i walk closer & i realize shes got my vibrator in her mouth.... FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 2

By keirissleepy - 23/02/2016 19:44 - Australia - Saint Albans

Today, Like every day this week I woke at 4am to prepare for an opening shift at work taking the 2 hour shuttle bus in order to arrive on time. My manager was confused why I showed up. Turns out he changed my shift without telling me. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By simugeek - 23/02/2016 19:32 - United States - Orlando

Today, I had an aural Morse code quiz. As the instructor was tapping it out, I excitedly copied it down, knowing most of it. After, when I went back to decode it, I realized that I had put everything so close together that I couldn't tell where one letter stopped and the next started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 23/02/2016 19:11 - United States - Waco

Today, My friend tried to "mess around" with me and when I kindly turned down the offer she asked if she could stay the night, I agreed and come to find out as I walked into my brothers room, she was getting ready to have sex with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By sunny_moonbeam - 23/02/2016 19:06 - United States - Union City

Today, I received a chocolate bar from my grandmother. It isn't until I was stuck in traffic that I realized the chocolates were laxatives. My car's going to need some major detailing. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 23/02/2016 19:03 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my drunk asshole of a father told me he has cancer. Obviously upset, I was unable to sleep that night and was up thinking about it. The next day when I went to ask him about it, he said he never went to a doctor to confirm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 23/02/2016 18:57 - United States - Salado

Today, I filed my taxes & I was excited to be getting 1,409 back, which I was going to use to pay for the rest of my car. Turns my mom claimed me, I was rejected. She said I was with her most of the year.But haven't lived with her since I was 16 years old and I was in New York while she was in Texas

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By thatfmlguy25 - 23/02/2016 18:50 - United States - Bowie

Today, while begging my father to take me to the hospital because of a stomach bug I warned him about, he refused and said "Gatorade will help". He then got angry at me for projectile vomiting said gatordae everywhere and yelled at me for not asking to go to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By 2MonthsLeft - 23/02/2016 18:48 - United States - Bronx

Today, my fiance called me to tell me that he had been "harmlessly flirting" with a woman he sees regularly while working under a fake name, that his "friends" had over played up how much he liked her and now she knew his real name and might contact me. I'm 7 months pregnant and heartbroken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Annon - 23/02/2016 18:45 - United States - Mandeville

Today, I was masturbating to some porn in my bathroom. I heard a knock on the door, it was my brother asking me what I was watching. Apparently, my Amazon echo decided to connect to my tablet filling the house with HD sounds of porn. When I came out. I found my family crowded around the speaker.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Ultrimanius - 23/02/2016 18:35 - United States - Apopka

Today, my friends were messing around with a broken marker during lunch. We were outside standing on pavement, and I was walking to class. As I walked, I stepped on the marker, it spilling red ink all over the pavement and my shoes. Security thought that it was me, and I got a referral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By jess - 23/02/2016 18:34 - United States - Eureka

Today, I found out my boyfriend tried to cheat on me while I was at work, I confronted him about it his excuse is I've been too emotional, I'm eight weeks pregnant, and he knows FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

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The Top

Today, my friends and I went to court. We are all college students, and for next semester, we will be on probation and have to do 8 hours of community service, as well as a $25 fine each. All for swinging on swings in the park after dark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 320

You deserved it 4 888

Today, I was at University when a giant mascot started walking in my direction. As they walked past, they whispered my name seductively. I still don't know who it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 688

You deserved it 5 339

Today, I sat next to this really hot guy in my writing class. We struck up a conversation, and it was going well, until he began describing, in excruciating detail, his IBS and fiber problems, and how he always has to poop. Good to know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 373

You deserved it 861

Today, I was out running. All of a sudden I saw a dog come towards me, I thought it was going to attack me and I screamed like a girl in front of everyone. It was a puppy wanting to play. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 323

You deserved it 32 650

Today, my dentist told me I had a good tongue. That's the best compliment I've gotten in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 365

You deserved it 237

Today, I spent 3 hours trying to close a simple $400 deal with a homeowner. He spent 3 hours telling me about his life story including his marital problems, his philosophical views of the world, AND he read me 20 pages of haiku poems. Only 3 hours later did he tell me he couldn't accept my deal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 119

You deserved it 6 228