Nearly FMLs

By payingoffkarma - 04/05/2016 12:32 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, I lost out on my dream job because the other guy was unemployed and immediately available. The other guy is a trust fund baby who doesn't need to work. He was unemployed because he quit after a week of working for an insanely abusive boss. The same boss I've spent two years working for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 19

By sickofthis - 04/05/2016 09:13 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, my douchebag of a housemate decided he wasn't going to clean his vomit from last night off the bathroom floor, so I had to do it, and it took me 2 hours. I got up early to do my uni work and now I probably won't finish it.I may as well have gone back to bed. fml.

I agree, your life sucks 239

You deserved it 25

By hkhoi - 04/05/2016 07:28 - Vietnam - Hanoi

Today, I got two job rejection letters within 2 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 270

You deserved it 51

By braxiatel - 04/05/2016 07:17 - United Kingdom - Belfast

Today, while trying to sleep, i was woken up by the sound of loud moaning. At 3:24 AM. Apparently this guesthouse has thin walls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 230

You deserved it 22

By Aidin - 04/05/2016 06:34 - United States

Today, after seriously considering to accept this guy I've been dating as officially my boyfriend, I decided to snoop around in his Facebook and dig into his friends and family only to find out that he's still happily together with his son's mom. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 289

You deserved it 25

By cptkillsteal24 - 04/05/2016 06:28 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my large dog sprinted outside to see my step dad because he thought he was going on a walk. My step dad told him to go back in, and still having energy he sprinted back inside and decided to tackle my legs, sending my head directly into the wood floor fml.

I agree, your life sucks 229

You deserved it 35

By DyingAloneTonight - 04/05/2016 06:04 - United States - Henderson

Today, I was supposed to go to the beach with my "friends". They didn't think to invite me until yesterday. I changed my whole day to accommodate their plans. They were THREE HOURS late. Because my transportation is limited, I had to go home. I am apparently flakey and have inconvenienced them. fml

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 23

By Enchantified - 04/05/2016 05:33 - United Kingdom - Portsmouth

Today, my sleeping pattern is so messed up from my job that I have a really bad feeling I'm going to either sleep through my interview time, or I'm going to fall asleep at my interview. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 211

You deserved it 28

By sempisaviour - 04/05/2016 05:23 - United States - Grand Junction

Today, my grandmother decided to take me to the movie theatre. While we were driving, I noticed she was going up to 20mph below the speed limit. When I asked her about it, she responded "I'd rather be safe than sorry." Another car rear-ended us within a minute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 234

You deserved it 14

By briannaahhh4155 - 04/05/2016 05:01 - United States - Houston

Today, my grandpa passed away recently and I missed a lot of school because of it so I can't go to the senior events like prom or disneyland. Now my boyfriend has to go by himself and blames me for everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 152

You deserved it 13

By Hellofaweek - 04/05/2016 04:42 - United States - Springfield

Today, after already having a week where I missed seeing my family for pointless work and I was dumped by my boyfriend of two years, I found there is no working heat or hot water in my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 176

You deserved it 5

By Shouldoftoldme - 04/05/2016 03:50 - United States - Detroit

Today, after spending an hour visiting my grandmother, I discovered my car was towed from the parking lot of her building. Apparently even visitors now need a permit to park, but they didnt bother to tell anyone about the change, or post signage saying so. $205 to see my own grandma, FML.

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 3

By ben - 04/05/2016 03:45 - United States - Orlando

Today, I was using my pc, when all of a sudden I noticed a medium sized spider about the width and length of three fingers. I am absolutely terrified of spiders but I gained the courage to get a shoe and try to kill it. Long story short, I missed, and it fell behind my pc, my pc is in my room, FML.

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 19

By Ugh - 04/05/2016 03:43 - United States - Klamath Falls

Today, I received a forwarded email by accident from my supervisor. They were complaining about some mistakes I made earlier. I was later told my position may be terminated. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 7

By Leaky Wall - 04/05/2016 03:39 - United States - North Little Rock

Today, I found a leak my husband and I had been looking for for days. It turns out our dishwasher was installed incorrectly and the hose has been leaking into our wall. I found it when the pressure burst through the wall, soaking our blinds, floor, and my only pair of work shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 124

You deserved it 4

By notevenwiththiso - 04/05/2016 03:24 - United States - Oxnard

Today, marks the third week since my stomach burst out in tiny red and purple spots under my skin. The dermatologist says that they're cherry angiomas and you can't get rid of them. Another doctor says scabies. Either way I look like I have the plague. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 3

By kara701 - 04/05/2016 03:21 - United States - Hemet

Today, I have to study for a really important history exam. I can't focus because my neighbor's dogs keep barking almost constantly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 16

By hmm89 - 04/05/2016 02:32 - United States - Louisville

Today, my dog welcomed me home from a 16 hour day at work by throwing up the entire digestive system of a rabbit she killed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 8

By Really? - 04/05/2016 02:27 - United States - Clackamas

Today, I went on what I thought was a third date. After I paid the $100 bill at the restaurant, she accidentally let it slip that she had a boyfriend during our conversation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 138

You deserved it 9

By jriley4u - 04/05/2016 02:16 - United States - Shreveport

Today, at work a man called yelling about his furniture delivery being late. I asked if I could put him on hold so I could call our guys to see where they were. He said no.... I told him I can't help if I can't call them. He yelled he didn't care, he was not going on hold and I needed to fix it.

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 6

By goodvsevil1275 - 04/05/2016 02:11 - United States - Toledo

Today, after falling asleep shivering, I woke up with a blanket on top of me. Made of ants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 7

By just me - 04/05/2016 01:57 - United States - Petoskey

Today, I woke up after a night of heavy drinking. What I thought had been a dream of getting up and puking in the toilet last night, was really just me laying over the side of the bed, puking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 15

By Lawdy - 04/05/2016 01:56 - United States - Louisville

Today, I picked up boxes my dad found from when I stayed there a few months after a break up. They were my ex's. He dumped a drawer of our things he didn't want. One item was his penis ring that my cluless dad was twirling around his finger as I walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 7

By Sigma777 - 04/05/2016 00:55 - United States - Cantonment

Today, after working a double shift at my job, picking up dinner for everyone, and cleaning the family dump room, my mother gets pissed and starts yelling at me that I do nothing around the house. What caused this outburst? I parked my car too far up the grass lot, where I always park it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 6

By Number2inherlife - 04/05/2016 00:53 - United States - Marshfield

Today, my wife started calling her cat "My Precious". FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 21

By dodgedabullet - 04/05/2016 00:52 - United States - Appleton

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because of how close I am to my male best friend. This would be understandable, if he was worried about us having feelings for each other. But that's not why he dumped me, it's because my best friend is gay, and he's homophobic. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 6

By Delirious_Panda - 04/05/2016 00:42 - Australia - Southport

Today, my neighbours decided that early hours of the morning were an appropriate time to start up their ancient and loud as hell wood chipper and get rid of the mess that is their front yard.

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 15

By ChelzTheWolfGirl - 04/05/2016 00:41 - United States - Springfield

Today, my girlfriend admitted to me that she puts her hands in her butt crack, sniffs them, and then puts them on my face if they're smelly enough to see if I notice.

I agree, your life sucks 172

You deserved it 13

By Anonymous - 04/05/2016 00:40 - United States - Torrance

Today, my friend asked me about a guy she was about to date. But she started with saying "you know Tyler B?" First words out of my mouth were "He's a fucking perv." She's going on a date with him this Saturday and he's also her prom date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 20

By Buttprobs - 04/05/2016 00:20 - United States - Orlando

Today, not only did I have to ask my dad for advice on how to take care of hemorrhoids, but when I told my boyfriend he asked if he could take a look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 10

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The Top

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he would still love me if I became a vegetable. His response: "Well, the sex wouldn't be any different." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 796

You deserved it 35 179

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really like. He brought up that there was a person staring at us from a nearby table. That person was my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 410

You deserved it 2 634

Today, students were permitted to wear costumes at my school, but only about half of us did. In 4th period a guy asked me, "What are you supposed to be?" I wasn’t wearing a costume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 531

You deserved it 329

Today, I had to stop my 26 year old fiancé from picking his nose and eating it like a little boy. Three times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 246

You deserved it 4 945

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 857

You deserved it 5 313

Today, I stumbled upon my girlfriend's Twitter account that I didn't know existed. A recent entry states that living with me is pathetic; "it's just that the current economical situation doesn't leave her with many options." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 794

You deserved it 2 833