Nearly FMLs

By Who_Lock91 - 03/05/2016 02:23 - United Kingdom - Oldbury

Today I found out that after having my whole family reject me for being a lesbian my first serious girlfriend didn't split up with her ex 5 months in to our relationship. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 5

By fourscore - 03/05/2016 02:23 - United States - Sacramento

Today, I spent about 200 bucks on a new phone, because mine wouldn't ring when people calledD me, only to find out the only thing wrong I had with my phone was that it was on sleep mode. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 17

By whywhy - 03/05/2016 02:16

Today, my friends all told me that they think I have anorexia. In reality I eat like a horse and I'm naturally skinny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 25

By anonymous - 03/05/2016 02:13 - United States - Columbus

Today, last night I was so paranoid about getting enough sleep for a big test I had the next day, that I couldn't fall asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 25

By HalpMe - 03/05/2016 02:09 - United States - Charlotte

Today, I found out how my long-time crush feels about me. He thinks I'm annoying, or at least that's what he told everyone in the grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 10

By leah_kascar - 03/05/2016 02:00

Today, I ran into a co-worker at a store, now my husband is convinced I'm cheating on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 4

By Where_The_Side_Walk_Ends - 03/05/2016 01:54 - United States - Springfield

Today, I finally got up the nerve to give my two weeks notice at my job. Not six hours after giving my notice did I find out that the business I am leaving my current job for is being liquidated and all of the stores nationwide will likely be shutting down... FML

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 4

By NDSDMNtech - 03/05/2016 01:51 - United States - Omaha

Today, I finally ended my weekend of on call work at a critical access hospital. Did I have any traumas or strokes? No. Why? My data storage crashed and we had to reroute all our ambulances. Tech support wasn't going to send anyone until Tuesday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 5

By Anonymous - 03/05/2016 01:33 - United States

Today, a girl on my soccer team tripped two of the other team's players, then when a girl pulled her hair she got so angry she called her a bitch loud enough the referee heard her, earning herself a red card. All this happened in the first 5 minutes of the game against our hardest competition. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 4

By BlueGiraffe - 03/05/2016 01:21 - United States - Canton

Today, I found out that my sisters husband is cheating on her, and she wants to work things out with him. I haven't liked him since day one and now I'm just supposed to sit here and not say anything, because I'm not even supposed to know about this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 4

By Anon - 03/05/2016 01:21 - United States - Newville

Today, I learned how sensitive my private parts are. I was scratching at an intense itch down below, and without realizing it, I managed to quite literally 'tear myself a new one.' As if one bleeding orifice wasn't enough to deal with already. To top it off, it's still itchy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 5

By Anonymous - 03/05/2016 01:15 - United States - Bronx

Today, my best friend (girl) decided to end our very long friendship because I didn't remember our "10-year anniversary of becoming friends". We became friends in first-grade when we were 6. We're 13. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 12

By The Bored Rhino - 03/05/2016 01:11 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my computer class teacher checked on me as I had my email open. He commented, "you've got a lot of strange spam mail" in his English accent. I then realized that he was referring to the "cheating Cougars" email I received from a porn website. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 8

By Anonymous - 03/05/2016 01:08 - United States - Marlborough

Today, I was playing Telestrations with my cousin. The word he had to draw was "booby trap." He drew boobs. In a cage. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 16

By smallfeetbigtoes - 03/05/2016 01:00 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I walked in on my husband with his dick in a watermelon. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 10

By NeedsATherapist - 03/05/2016 00:55 - United States - Glendale

Today, my boyfriend and his family had dinner with me and my family. After dinner, my grandma decided to play her new favorite game Panda Pop. The volume was off so she turned to me and said, "Turn the volume on so I can hear the babies screaming." In front of my boyfriend's whole family.

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 6

By Anonymous - 03/05/2016 00:53 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my piano teacher called me a "fucking dumbass who should just listen" under his breath, because I messed up the same note more than once. I think he meant for me to hear it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 6

By anonymous - 03/05/2016 00:49 - United States - Biddeford

Today,while at work as a waitress a woman and boy came in. I grabbed a regular menu for her and a children's menu for the boy. As I sat them at the table I realized he was not a boy, he was in fact a midget. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 11

By jbjellybean - 03/05/2016 00:49 - United States

Today, I shot my friend with a slingshot and when he turned around to get me back I tripped and slammed my face into the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60

You deserved it 9

By Anonymous - 03/05/2016 00:49 - United States

Today, I was trying to open a drawer in my bathroom and it was stuck. I pulled super hard at the edge, and my finger suddenly hurt really badly. I broke my finger opening a drawer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60

You deserved it 6

By Ohno - 03/05/2016 00:22 - Canada - Toronto

Today, out of curiosity, I searched for "Princess Peach porn" and realized I was still using my student google account which is monitored by the school staff when it's used. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 15

By Barf - 03/05/2016 00:21 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I'm sick as a dog. After lunch I tried running to the bathroom and ended up projectile vomiting all over the office for all of my coworkers to see. My boss still wouldn't let me go home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 4

By Anonymous - 03/05/2016 00:19 - United States - Winchester

Today, I walked 10 minutes in the rain to help my neighbor with his homework like I do every week. However, today he did not have any homework. Not only did I have to walk back 10 minutes in the rain but my sister is not answering the door and I don't have a key. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 6

By An idiots roommate - 03/05/2016 00:09 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my roommate called at 3am begging me to bail her out of jail for driving an unregistered, un-insured car, without a license, while high. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 7

By mackboze - 03/05/2016 00:06 - United States - San Francisco

Today, on my way to my 1st day at the police academy I was cut off on the freeway. I pulled up next to the guy and gave him an earful of threats. he then proceeds to follow me to the academy and park in the "academy administration parking" gets out and there is a brass badge on his belt.

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 9

By Meow_lol - 02/05/2016 23:53 - United States - Springfield

Today I walked in on my parents. I know, it happens to everyone but this was different. My mom was in all leather except the boobs and pussy had been cut out of the costume and my dad was in nothing but a Zorro mask. He was boning her in the pussy doggy-style. My dad is 50 and mom is 40. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 5

By meh - 02/05/2016 23:52 - United States - South Amboy

Today, marks the day that i successfully spent 10 hours on a writing all week. Today, I decided to get Starbucks to reward myself. I walk into my room, bump into my desk, and the frap spills. Where, you may ask? On my writing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 7

By PhoebeBuffett - 02/05/2016 23:38 - United States - Aliso Viejo

Today, the cute boy I've been crushing on finally gave me his number. He took a few selfies to use as his contact image and when he went to my photo roll to choose the best one, he saw the shirtless picture I'd saved from his Instagram to show my friend. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 10

By shabang2021 - 02/05/2016 23:37 - United States - Los Angeles

Today,I was walking and I thought I saw a dollar bill. So I bent down to pick it up, only to have my butt smacked by a homeless guy. And he took the dollar. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 45

You deserved it 6

By roger_brown - 02/05/2016 23:31 - United States - Eugene

Today, the vet came to my house to put one of my dogs down. She put the wrong one down.

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 3

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my bitch of a sister broke my new phone, which took me months of work to earn. Her excuse? If I didn't want her to break it, I shouldn't have let her use it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 671

You deserved it 2 447

Today, it's my birthday. I was excited because of all the wall posts I got on Facebook. Then I saw I got a "Happy Birthday" from the girl my boyfriend cheated on me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 972

You deserved it 7 503

Today, I went to a restaurant and only brought $14 with me to eat. I ordered and ate my meal, then went to the counter to pay for it. I threw $2 into the tip jar then got my bill. My bill was $13.86. I had to reach into the tip jar and take my $2 back so I could pay for my meal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 303

You deserved it 56 072

Today, I was forced to get up in front of ten swim teams, including my own, and a hundred spectators to swim 100 yards with an obvious boner sticking out of my suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 020

You deserved it 5 150

Today, I'm sitting in a disgustingly hot office with all the windows thrown open. There is no fan, and the owner won't let us use the air conditioner. The smell of mold permeates the room from the ceiling, giving me headaches by the end of the day. The owner refuses to get someone in to clean it. I can't quit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 873

You deserved it 153

Today, I had a Tesla nearly run me off the road. Then after I parked, I crossed the street at a crosswalk. A car stopped for me, rolled his window down, then yelled at me for wearing a black raincoat. Mean people make me want to be mean to everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 174