Nearly FMLs

By Anonymous - 04/05/2016 23:33 - United States - Hollidaysburg

Today, I was fingering my girlfriend for a while, and then I felt something... I pulled my hand out of her pants and my fingers were covered in blood. She started her period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 10

By anonymous - 04/05/2016 23:30 - United States - Pleasant Hill

Today, being Star Wars day I thought I would be cute and write "May the fourth" on all my papers for the date. It was only until my last class of the day that I realized I had been writing "May the forth" instead. On every, single paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47

You deserved it 6

By kwr91 - 04/05/2016 23:27 - United States - Boca Raton

Today, I found out my kids health insurance increased from $15 per kid to $299 per kid. FML!!

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 5

By WhatDidIDoWrong? - 04/05/2016 23:26 - United States - Killeen

Today, my girl seemed irritated. Being my first girlfriend, I was always looking to make her happy. I decided to write a very sincere note expressing how much I enjoyed being with her, and put it in her car. An hour later, by text, I found out "She doesn't feel the same about me anymore." FML.

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 6

By pearl - 04/05/2016 23:24 - United States - Rochester

Today, I finally went to get my stuff with a police officer from my parents house after being kicked out by my mentally ill mother and it turns out that he and my mother got rid of all my things. My room was empty too. And as I pulled out of the driveway, my mother came out to smile and wave. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 5

By Mmlbc - 04/05/2016 23:23 - United States - South Whitley

Today I realized how little attention I get from my husband. I got real jealous watching him pet the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 7

By Anonymous - 04/05/2016 23:19 - United States - West Babylon

Today my teacher mentioned how he graded the papers of a few people in my class and that, "they couldn't be worse." Then later in class he told me that he graded my paper. This paper is 20% of our grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43

You deserved it 9

By zek_ded - 04/05/2016 23:08 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my wallet fell out of my pocket at school and my friends picked it up and have it back when they saw me next. Turns out one of them stole $80 and they're all saying they didn't take it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43

You deserved it 3

By ZazaTomo - 04/05/2016 23:08

Today, My friends signed me up for a swimming tournament for our school. It wouldn't be such a big deal if I even knew how to swim. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42

You deserved it 5

By Awkward - 04/05/2016 23:04 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I accidentally called my ex-boyfriend "pumpkin" out of habit. It wouldn't have been too bad if we hadn't been presenting in a meeting with prospective clients, and my robotic, extreme-professional-behaviour boss who is on the fence about my promotion. Perhaps I'll wait till next year. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 49

You deserved it 6

By sadmomissad - 04/05/2016 23:02 - United States - Portland

Today my husband is planning a trip to Europe in advance of our milestone wedding anniversary & Mother's Day weekend. Sadly his trip is without me, for work & he yelled at me for being upset about it. Also at work since we work in the same office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42

You deserved it 2

By Anonymous - 04/05/2016 22:53 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, My grandmother was tricked into deleting System 32 off our family computer. Now she wants me to fix it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43

You deserved it 7

By missadell - 04/05/2016 22:48 - United States - Statham

Today, my depth perception has reached an all time low. I swatted the "fly" in front of my face for ten minutes before I finally realised it was a black dot on the dry erase board in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36

You deserved it 6

By Anonymous - 04/05/2016 22:37

Today, most of my hometown is a merely a pile of ashes thanks to the biggest wildfire in our history. My friends and family are now homeless. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 2

By Anon - 04/05/2016 22:19 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I got fired for clocking out of work early. Half a minute early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 5

By you - 04/05/2016 22:19 - United States - Carriere

Today, I woke up and decided to get my day started by some laps in our front yard. Getting weird looks from strangers, I decided I was awake enough, before realizing I still had no pants on. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 39

You deserved it 1

By amzy12 - 04/05/2016 21:58 - United Kingdom - Romford

Today, I got off early from work, not wanting to cook and wanting quality time with the huby, who has started a new job, I went to order at a restaurent enroute home where i saw my husband having a romantic candle lit meal with another woman. Sadly like a defeated woman I walked out gasping for air

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 3

By Anonymous - 04/05/2016 21:45 - United States

Today, I realized I want to go to cosmetology school. I have 3 classes left before I have my bachelors degree in psychology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42

You deserved it 9

By icantotallydate - 04/05/2016 21:44 - Germany - Freiburg

Today, my dating skills are so in the dumps that I had to ask my brother for advise. I'm 18. He's 14. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35

You deserved it 3

By Mintilou - 04/05/2016 21:42 - United Kingdom - Iver

Today, my boyfriend went drinking. When he came home drunk, he fell asleep and woke up puking all over my bedroom. I cleaned for two hours without complaint, but he got angry when I asked him to move and started a raging argument. He still doesn't why I'm pissed off with him 4 hours later. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 44

You deserved it 2

By Eric E - 04/05/2016 21:35 - United States - Raleigh

Today, I got a $1,400 bill from the chiropractor, ten months after I last visited them, eight months after I settled accounts with them, and several years after some of the visits, because they were too incompetent to do their books and manage the insurance properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34

You deserved it 2

By Eric E - 04/05/2016 21:28 - United States - Raleigh

Today IT informed me, after I reported a minor problem with a company app, that the machine they gave me when I was hired a month ago is not supposed to be on Windows 10, and they will be swapping out my laptop for one with Windows 8, undoing a month I spent setting up this machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33

You deserved it 5

By Laurence McCulloch - 04/05/2016 21:17 - United Kingdom

Today, I left my P.E kit on the school field. So at lunch time I went to go get it. I found it spread across the floor and I saw 2 boys throw my shoes over a hedge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35

You deserved it 3

By Kalexbo - 04/05/2016 21:13 - United States - Arvada

Today, I gave a huge speech in front of my peers that counted for half of my grade in the class. I knew I was nervous from the start, but I didn't think I would be so nervous that my voice was breaking every other sentence, and the teacher got up to give me a water bottle so bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31

You deserved it 4

By tikatica - 04/05/2016 21:06 - United States - San Francisco

Today, we were working in groups in my class. Nearly everyone had someone to work with except for me. When the rest of the students who didn't have a group realized that all of the other groups were full, they told the teacher that there was no one else to work with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30

You deserved it 5

By sh4ll0truth88 - 04/05/2016 20:55 - United States - Glenwood

Today, I found out that in order to just walk into the building a need surgery in, is gonna cost $4100. My job won't let me back unless I'm 100% and I don't have the money for the surgery, FML.

I agree, your life sucks 30

You deserved it 7

By ofcourse - 04/05/2016 20:51 - United States - Abilene

Today I found out they are totaling my car after a lady ran a red light and hit me from the side. I only had one payment left, it was almost mine! Now I have to start over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37

You deserved it 4

By Kieranr10 - 04/05/2016 20:40 - United Kingdom - Iwade

Today, I found a stray dog in my back garden. Normally this would be a good thing, however it had one of my rabbits dead in its mouth. My mum laughed when I told her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36

You deserved it 5

By Justafriend - 04/05/2016 20:37 - United States - Denver

Today my mother in law introduced me to her socail club...as my husband's "friend." We've been married 5 years and have two kids. FmL

I agree, your life sucks 45

You deserved it 4

By CRricker - 04/05/2016 20:14

Today, I had diarrhea 3 times in a row during school. The third time I went, I had a full bladder. As I sat down all of the urine bounced off of the toilet bowl and soaked my pants. My parents won't pick me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30

You deserved it 1

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The Top

Today, I found out that a guy who works overnights had secretly been videotaping me singing and dancing to my favorite songs while I worked my own graveyard shift. My new nickname at work is 'Prancy'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 249

You deserved it 314

Today, I woke up early for work. Had my coffee, finished up a report and headed out of my house. Not only was the office closed today, but the silent alarm was on, which is triggered by a door opening even if you use a key. I was startled by the cops searching the building, ran, and got tased. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 824

You deserved it 6 758

Today, I called my boyfriend and invited him over to watch a movie. He was all for it, until I mentioned I was on my period, at which point he said "NOPE." and hung up on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 134

You deserved it 7 182

Today, I mentioned to my parents that, considering the state of the world, the government needs to get its act together and ban guns, gas cars, meat, animal products, and plastic, among other things. They threatened to kick me out, saying I should "go live with the other dumbass hippies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 2 116

Today, thanks to my husband's obsession with needing a massive garage built instead of a bog standard garden shed, we dug up some Roman building last week, and our garden is now swarming with archaeologists banging on about history and ruining my weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 543

You deserved it 1 179

Today, it was my Sweet Sixteen. Only two of my friends showed up, and they spent the whole night texting their boyfriends. After several failed attempts to do something fun or even get them to talk to me, I got up and left the room, and didn't come back. They didn't notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 97