Nearly FMLs

By ugh - 05/07/2016 13:10 - United States - Oakland

Today, I travelled over 3,000 miles to go on vacation with my best friends. It turns out we're staying in the ghetto, my friends are annoying me and we have no transportation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 130

You deserved it 17

By Vixen_Crazy - 05/07/2016 05:58 - United States - Miami

Today, my group of friends had a bad argument with my boyfriend. He was clearly in fault but wouldn't admit to it. He broke up with me because I didn't have his back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 456

You deserved it 101

By poorme327 - 05/07/2016 03:02 - United States - Stoneham

Today, my boyfriend wanted to have sex before he left for work. A few minutes in he says, "Hurry up. You still have to make my lunch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 586

You deserved it 44

By chrisfromCanada - 05/07/2016 00:43 - Canada

Today, I got hit by a car while helping an elderly gentleman cross the street.. Don't worry he's okay though. He pushed me into the way of the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 533

You deserved it 34

By pitcrew29 - 04/07/2016 23:11 - United States - New Philadelphia

Today, I came home from a cookout to find out my dog has worms. She freaked out about the fireworks outside and violently sprayed them all over the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 476

You deserved it 37

By Rusty - 04/07/2016 22:23 - United States - Jackson

Today, a classmate I've never spoken to before asked me for my number. Since no one ever calls me anyway, I figured I'd give it to him to be nice. Now he won't stop texting me about how he can't stop thinking about me and "really needs to see me again". I'm afraid to go back to that class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 56

By Theguyinthedark - 04/07/2016 21:44

Today, I was at the store. I saw this cute girl and her friend. I thought about bringing out the "boyish charms" so I grabbed a Yo-Yo from the shelf and started throwing it. She was smiling at me but while doing a fancy move, suddenly it flew out of my hand and hit her friend in the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33

You deserved it 5

By Tanishq_Gupta - 04/07/2016 20:56 - India

Today, while at the pool I heard two girls whisper "I wish I had had boobs like HIM". Guess who has to start working out! FML

I agree, your life sucks 430

You deserved it 39

By rightherewaiting - 04/07/2016 20:53 - United States - Houston

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to share our "big secrets" with each other. My secret was that I loved her; her secret was that she recently slept with her best friend. I went first. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 27

By anony-moose - 04/07/2016 17:27 - United States - Chevy Chase

Today, my 12-year-old cousin proudly proclaimed that she's five feet ten inches tall. Meanwhile, I'm a twenty year old man who's five foot four and I haven't grown in years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 682

You deserved it 104

By petlover - 04/07/2016 17:15 - United States - Jesup

Today,I woke up and stretched while laying in bed, only to slide my foot through a massive, clammy hairball. I have been purchasing expensive catfood with hairball protection for my cat, while I myself eat Ramen because my money is so tight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 592

You deserved it 91

By MagicalPegacorn - 04/07/2016 16:44 - United States - Baltimore

Today, it's only my second week at my new job after months of being unemployed. I already have to call in sick. Not because I'm actually sick, but because I have a Bartholin gland cyst on my labia the size of a grape and it's too painful to even walk. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 619

You deserved it 44

By comfybathroom - 04/07/2016 10:30 - United States - Palmer

Today, I had planned out the entire day to spend Fourth of July with my friends and family. Today is also the day I woke up with the flu. FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 109

By Sad_Loner_4_ever - 04/07/2016 09:19 - United States

Today, I was sitting in the car with my family, when my mom started a conversation about why my friends never say hi when they see me. The conversation ended with me in tears in front of my family when my mom explained that my "friends" weren't my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 545

You deserved it 61

By overheated - 04/07/2016 08:37 - United States - Junction City

Today, my mother explicitly forbade me from turning on an electric fan in my room because it "ruins the wood". It's got almost 90 degrees out every day and I need to study for an exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 36

By Desiredwish - 04/07/2016 06:17 - United Kingdom

Today, my whole family are going on holiday to Turkey. I wasn't invited and get to stay home to look after the dog. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 71

By it___happens - 04/07/2016 03:20 - United States - Bothell

Today, I had the first seizure I've ever had in my life before. Unfortunately I had my seizure right as I was walking into the building for my graduation, and spent all day in the hospital instead of walking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 601

You deserved it 41

By . - 04/07/2016 01:28 - United States - Newington

Today, while I was mowing my lawn, my neighbor walked over to me and started scolding be for waking up his teenage son. This would be understandable if it wasn't 1 in the afternoon, FML

I agree, your life sucks 525

You deserved it 45

By ugly-duckling - 03/07/2016 23:41 - Australia - Auburn

Today, after asking my boyfriend if I looked fat in the dress I was wearing, he replied yes. He sometimes does things like this so I assumed it was a joke till I went to my family function and was told the exact same thing. 4 times. By different people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 82

By FutureofAmerica - 03/07/2016 23:24 - United States - Hicksville

Today, my father told my siblings and I that he has another child by someone who isn't my mother. My brother says 'yay, I'm an uncle.' He's 14. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 33

By oldie_goldie - 03/07/2016 21:16 - United States - Lehi

Today, on our wedding anniversary, I asked my husband how he enjoyed our first year together. He did not reply, but instead stuck his little finger as far as possible up my left nostril. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 38

By apeshit94 - 03/07/2016 18:48 - United States - Anderson

Today, I accidentally hit my neighbors car while backing out, because of their horrible park job. The cop said he would write me a ticket unless I call the front desk to further explain my insurance policy. This included me getting cussed out and getting a ticket anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 81

By Anonymous - 03/07/2016 18:31 - United States - Ellsworth

Today, i gave up my baby for adoption. For nine months I thought this would be easy. Now that i gave birth and finally got home, Im incredibly depressed and want my baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 623

You deserved it 123

By stereotypicalme - 03/07/2016 18:02 - Canada - Kingston

Today, I was sexting with my boyfriend who's away for the weekend. I decided to send him a picture of my laying down in bed in my underwear. Instead, I ended up dropping my phone on my face and now my nose won't stop bleeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 447

You deserved it 93

By swaddison - 03/07/2016 17:38 - United States - Miami

Today, my mom read my journal. She called me up crying and says we're going to have a long talk when I get home from vacation. This week is going to be torture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 458

You deserved it 40

By Bigvic7804 - 03/07/2016 17:25 - United States - Pearsall

Today we were at my wives grandmother's funeral, when everyone was silent in prayer my 4 year old son decides to yell out "what the f***?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 430

You deserved it 41

By Yikes - 03/07/2016 17:20 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I went to grab my boyfriend's ass. It wasn't my boyfriend. It wasn't an ass either. I grabbed some random man's junk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 80

By Yorkiepoo24 - 03/07/2016 17:14 - United States - Dallas

Today, I was looking through my boyfriend's phone and discovered he'd been watching porn, something he said he'd ever watch. In his history, I saw my PornHub channel videos...of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 76

By fatass - 03/07/2016 17:12 - United States - Tallahassee

Today, since February 29th I've been on a strict diet of 1200 calories a day. I've lost 30 pounds and 3 inches off my waistline, but I still have a large gut. My doctor is making me stop, and now I'm going to gain all that weight back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 44

By is it still me who makes you sweat - 03/07/2016 17:09 - United States - King George

Today, I got back from a sailing trip exhausted, with a rat's nest of hair, and in need of a shower. Despite that, my mother insisted on taking me out for lunch and grocery shopping. All through the afternoon, I only managed to run into one person I know- my crush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 32

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The Top

Today, I overheard my parents planning on how to get me to move out of the house. It's my house. They only came to visit and forgot to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 963

You deserved it 3 200

Today, I skipped class and went to back my apartment early. I found out that my roommate had broken into my room and was laying in my bed wearing my underwear, taking pictures of herself. Apparently, she's been doing it all semester. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 991

You deserved it 790

Today, I was shopping for socks and I went to look in the men's section. Dad said, "You don't want those, they're for men." I asked what the difference was. He looked around, and then leaned in and whispered, "Men have a penis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 985

You deserved it 498

Today, after getting back from a year-long world trip, I nearly fell on my knees and cried when I saw boxes of Twinkies at my local gas station. Finding out they were back was the highlight of the year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 159

You deserved it 7 423

Today, I was at the doctor's getting a check up. He asked me if I was allergic to anything, to which I blurted out, "Cats." He gave me a weird look and said, "Don't worry, I won't give you cats." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 571

You deserved it 7 156

Today, my husband and I got a new stainless steel microwave. When we took it out of the package, we noticed it was blue and got angry. We were about to return it, but we called in our 12 year-old daughter to see what she thought about it. She then took off the blue protective plastic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 248

You deserved it 88 921