Nearly FMLs

By Anonymous - 28/06/2016 21:20 - United States

Today, for the second time, my girlfriend completely forgot that we split the rent on our apartment and is currently have a small meltdown because she wasn't prepared to pay her share. And she says I'm the financially irresponsible one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488

You deserved it 50

By FU2 - 28/06/2016 19:52 - United States - Tacoma

Today, I was in tears after my doctor told me I cannot have kids despite only being 22. She then excitedly told me that I'll need to find another provider because she's pregnant and going on maternity leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 33

By Butwhy - 28/06/2016 18:27 - United States - Burlington

Today, the 2 year old I'm babysitting makes herself bleed so she can wear Barbie bandaids. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 291

You deserved it 29

By LozKoz - 28/06/2016 18:23 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I helped my boyfriend's mother with pulling weeds in her garden. She told me that I should never marry her son. we have been together for four years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 254

You deserved it 27

By Mr_Cellophane99 - 28/06/2016 18:11 - United States - San Antonio

Today, after being a loyal employee for a year and improving training methods and business efficiency. I realized I was being paid less than the people I trained. To rub salt on the wound, turns out I'm being replaced in 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 250

You deserved it 22

By QueenAwkwardIV - 28/06/2016 18:02 - United States - Haymarket

Today, my friend crept up behind me to pour water down my shirt, when my suspender strap came undone and hit him in the face. I turned to laugh, then the other one came undone and hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 226

You deserved it 28

By TJMPFD - 28/06/2016 16:25

Today, a customer returned a toilet to the store but an associate didn't check it. Later a customer wanted to buy said toilet and upon inspection me and the customer found that there was a gigantic shit in the toilet that no one noticed. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 552

You deserved it 80

By Failed Cook - 28/06/2016 16:21 - United States - Elk Grove

Today is my mom's birthday. She's always said she want me to make her a meal, and I've already refused because I think I'm not good at it. This morning I went over early and made her breakfast and served it to her in bed. Without even looking at it she got up and dumped it in the trash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 500

You deserved it 47

By ShadowReiku - 28/06/2016 15:48 - United States - Bethesda

Today, I'm using the restroom at work when the cleaning lady came in. I'm bladder shy. She won't leave until I'm finished and I can't go until she leaves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 41

By Anonymous - 28/06/2016 15:31 - United States - Shippensburg

Today, a co-worker and I realized that we've finally found true love together. The co-worker is married and I'm engaged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 87

By phalangesenfuego - 28/06/2016 15:29 - United States - Seattle

Today, my very married friend has been trying to set me up with this guy. Turns out, she's having an affair with him, the whole time she's been setting us up. Um, ew. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 33

By ow - 28/06/2016 15:28 - United States - Marietta

Today, in an elaborate prank, my friend started a small fire in my yard. I tried to put it out and he used a remote controlled snake to freak me out, causing me to fall on the fire and get third degree burns. And now there is a giant black spot where my grass used to be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 29

By Cassafrass - 28/06/2016 15:12 - United States - Sevierville

Today, I woke up to my husband nuzzling my arm in his sleep. It would have been very sweet had he not been nuzzling directly into the injection site of the tetanus shot I had to get due to a softball sized infection on my other arm. Now both arms are in agony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 26

By astrodick - 28/06/2016 15:10 - United States - Harrisburg

Today, this group of girls asked if i could flex my six pack for them and while doing so i farted really loudly and it smelled so bad. On the bright side atleast i know why my stomach was hurting. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 54

By Bishdontkillmychive - 28/06/2016 15:06 - Australia

Today, whilst in bed with my girlfriend naked, she reached down, grabbed my balls and yanked up. She thought it was the blanket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 43

By softie - 28/06/2016 15:03 - United States - San Francisco

Today, after struggling with Erectile dysfunction I finally got an erection while my wife was home, she wasn't in the mood until after I had gone soft again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 38

By frustrated_friend - 28/06/2016 14:41 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my friend who I let move in so he wouldn't be homeless has now missed his 4th shift. he's only had this job a week. . . .FML

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 16

By Winterbelle - 28/06/2016 14:32 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I'm on my first vacation to Disneyland. Today my parents also called me to tell me my dog died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 198

You deserved it 16

By Tengoku - 28/06/2016 14:20 - United States - Gallipolis

Today, I realized I'm madly in love with my best friend. Too bad she's currently married to my boss.... FML

I agree, your life sucks 195

You deserved it 15

By Anonymous - 28/06/2016 14:10 - Finland

Today, I came back from a 2 week vacation to find out my dad and stepmother divorced. She took the washing machine and I have no clean clothes left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 179

You deserved it 20

By anonomousy - 28/06/2016 14:10 - Canada - Mackenzie

Today, my stepmother told me that she and my dad won't be coming to my wedding unless her foster children are in my wedding party. The wedding is in a week. fml.

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 25

By Adonis0 - 28/06/2016 13:52 - Australia - Shailer Park

Today, I woke up to find out I had a violent dream last night. At least that's what I'm inferring from my dislocated jaw FML

I agree, your life sucks 169

You deserved it 20

By fluffycorns - 28/06/2016 13:45 - Australia - Fitzroy

Today, I was laying down and the ball of my lip piercing was loose and it went down my throat, I had no other choice but to swallow it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 23

By tobuscus9412 - 28/06/2016 11:37

Today, I "accidentally" kissed another girl while wasted at a party. My friend convinced me being honest was the right thing to do, so I told my girlfriend. She broke up with me on the spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 447

You deserved it 21 688

By themrman - 28/06/2016 09:35 - United States - Boise

Today, I walked in on my boss and coworker having sex, I don't know whether I should ask for a raise or resign. FML

I agree, your life sucks 502

You deserved it 93

By anonymous - 28/06/2016 07:08 - United States - Montgomery

Today, I found out at the ripe age of 24, I may never have children due to what my doctor said were "weird circumstances." FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 27

By this little piggy - 28/06/2016 05:15 - United States - Lafayette

Today, after we put our toddler to sleep, me and my husband decided to get intimate, mid performance, my husband say something is touching my feet, come to find out, our son woke up got out of his crib and decide to tickle daddy's feet that were hanging over the bed.

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 63

By minissaussette - 28/06/2016 05:15 - France - Cergy

Today, my boyfriend once again accused me of cooking food with too much fat, making him gain 35 lbs in 3 years. He was ranting while eating chips and pasta because he had refused to eat the vegetables I cooked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 36

By MessedUp - 28/06/2016 04:42 - United States - Modesto

Today, despite being in a dead marriage, I realized the only reason I'm not leaving my husband is because I love my mother-in-law so much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 69

By Anonymous - 28/06/2016 04:25 - Malaysia - Ipoh

Today, as a dentist, I was performing simple tooth extraction when I realized that the X-ray was flipped the wrong way the whole time. I had to lie to the patient that the tooth that I accidently extracted needed to go as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 894

You deserved it 20 341

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The Top

Today, my 24-year-old brother tried to convince me that Hogwarts is real, because there is no way a person could have written that based on imagination. My parents agreed with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 242

You deserved it 4 510

Today, I was dining out with some friends when a hot guy on the table next to us smiled at me. Flattered, I smiled back at him several times. On his way out, he laid a napkin with his number at my table. I didn't notice, too busy looking at the yellow dress and the pink pumps he was wearing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 605

You deserved it 6 743

Today, I discovered that airbags aren't nearly as comfy as they look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 973

You deserved it 4 589

Today, I took mine and my sister's dog for a walk in the park near my house. The dog managed to find a large piece of rotting, frozen meat buried in the snow and tried to eat it. I had to pry it from his mouth and can't get the smell out of my gloves and coat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 871

You deserved it 794

Today, I was feeling frisky so I promised my husband he’d get some at bedtime. He promised not to hold his breath. When I asked what he meant, he told me it’s been 83 days since our last shag, and in that time we almost had sex 16 times, only for me to change my mind, hence not holding his breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 698

Today, I was cleaning out my deceased father's closet and found 4 boxes of BDSM porn videos, magazines and DVDs. To save his dignity, I hid them in my room to throw away on garbage day. My mom found the boxes in my room and now wants me to go to therapy. I'm only 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 678

You deserved it 197