Nearly FMLs

By Sendhelp - 06/07/2016 08:17 - United States - Gretna

Today, after a shift working on the ambulance, I almost passed out, and was taken by my ambulance company to the hospital. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 84

By Anonymous - 06/07/2016 05:12 - United States - Ellijay

Today, my dog has learned how to get on the bed. Due to her recent stitches I can't forcibly remove her and my husband won't move either. Guess who gets the floor tonight. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 383

You deserved it 40

By Chlo1996 - 05/07/2016 22:12 - United Kingdom - North Ferriby

Today, at work, I politely informed a customer that he could only purchase two packs of pain relief tablets, in response, he politely threw the remaining four packs at my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 445

You deserved it 43

By rachb2284 - 05/07/2016 21:24 - United Kingdom - Leicester

Today, I was in my garden having a cigarette when I took a sip of my coke. Then realised it was the other can that I had left earlier and put a finished cigarette in. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 266

By Missed opportunity - 05/07/2016 20:44 - United States - Roseville

Today, I missed an interview for a job that pays 3x as much as my current, because I would have been fired by my supervisor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 59

By Anonymous - 05/07/2016 18:11 - United States - Carroll

Today, I was walking home from school. When I was halfway home, it started to drizzle, and within seconds it was a downpour. I had forgotten my umbrella, so I had to keep walking. I stepped through the door, absolutely soaked, and the rain stopped within seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 72

By James - 05/07/2016 17:30 - United States

Today, I just deleted half a weeks work. My project is due today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 418

You deserved it 68

By Anonymous - 05/07/2016 16:39 - United States - Arlington

Today, my boss called me stupid in front of a customer... it's my first day working there... FML.

I agree, your life sucks 464

You deserved it 46

By pissedoff - 05/07/2016 16:10 - United States - Birmingham

Today, well it was actually Saturday, but one of my clients took a cinderblock to my car and busted out both of my tail lights, my window, and both of my side view mirrors...so now my week long vacation is going to be trying to figure out what I'm going to do...FML.

I agree, your life sucks 485

You deserved it 65

By bad luck - 05/07/2016 15:54 - United States - Birmingham

Today, We went to Chicago for the first time. We parked at the station and took the train. I thought I was being smart by locking my purse in the car. Now I'm down a window, any way I have to prove who I am, and all of my money and debit card. Fml.

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 159

By Soconfused - 05/07/2016 15:46 - United States - Canyon Country

Today, after years of denying him because I was afraid it would ruin our friendship, and years of him assuring me that nothing would change between us, I finally slept with my best friend. Now he won't even answer his phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 60

By frenchfry_48 - 05/07/2016 15:37 - United States - Saint Augustine

Today, I got to listen to my entire family argue and bicker on the vacation that I paid for. The whole vacation I've been treated like a concierge and haven't gotten to do anything I want to. Now they're expecting me to pay for the next vacation as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 430

You deserved it 30

By Anonymous - 05/07/2016 15:32 - Canada - Noyan

Today, I flew overseas to attend an event I've been wanting to attend for close to a year. While I thought of many ways it could go, an unexpected trip to the emergency room in the middle of said event, however, never crossed my mind. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 292

You deserved it 21

By kyu_Q - 05/07/2016 15:31 - United States

Today, while my wife an I were in the middle of an orgasm, my 5 year old used a coin to open the locked bedroom door. Not only did we probably scar her for life but I might also have a budding criminal on my hands, FML.

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 28

By mylifesafrickenmovie - 05/07/2016 15:25 - Canada - London

Today, my 66 year old father introduced me to his 28 year old girlfriend. The day after my mother introduced me to her girlfriend. They just split up last month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 24

By damnyouRCA - 05/07/2016 15:18 - United States - New Windsor

Today was my first day at work. Well it would have been, that is, if my Alarm clock hadn't malfunctioned for the first time in eight years. I don't have a job now FML.

I agree, your life sucks 283

You deserved it 27

By mrfailmaster - 05/07/2016 15:16 - United States - Texarkana

Today,my brother decided to wear a wrestling singlet around the house. Neither of us have any idea where it came from. This jackass is 18.FML

I agree, your life sucks 193

You deserved it 16

By seriously? - 05/07/2016 15:14 - United States - Rutherfordton

Today, while making out with my boyfriend he began to moan like a 16 year old girl for no apparent reason. I didn't even touch the boy. if that wasn't bad enough after we stopped kissing he barked at me like a dog to kiss him again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 187

You deserved it 20

By DoctorBitch - 05/07/2016 15:06 - United States

Today, My cat I've had since I was 3 died. I would have had no issue with this as she was suffering, except that I was a complete asshole to her the last time I saw her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 187

You deserved it 34

By MyEarsStillHurtFromFlashbangs - 05/07/2016 14:57 - Denmark - Helsinge

Today, my neighbours dumbfuck kids decided to swat me. 3 hours, stacks upon stacks of paperwork to fill, broken doors and windows, and 10 armed officers later, my neighbour decided not to punish his kids because they said that it was just a prank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 215

You deserved it 15

By Mrs. Melton - 05/07/2016 14:54 - United States - Four Oaks

Today, I told my best friend of ten years who has been in love with me all this time that i was in love with him, he has finally found happiness with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 162

You deserved it 38

By Anon - 05/07/2016 14:29 - Canada - Corner Brook

Today, my boyfriend finally was ready to take intimacy between us a bit further and actually have sex. Which would be be great, if he had lasted more than 30 seconds. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 24

By 7iven8nine - 05/07/2016 14:19 - United States - Redmond

Today, I was told to change the password on a network. I ended up killing the whole connection. Oh yeah, and my career choice is cyber security. FML

I agree, your life sucks 147

You deserved it 14

By MeMyselfandI43 - 05/07/2016 14:18 - United States - Riverside

Today, my boyfriend came home stupid drunk. He passed out sprawled across the living room floor. I went to bed and left him there covered in a sheet. A bit later I woke up to a strange sound. Turned on the light to see him pissing on my fan like it was the toilet, it was on high. FML

I agree, your life sucks 164

You deserved it 13

By gross - 05/07/2016 13:55 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sun in my window, birds chirping, and my cat throwing up on my feet.

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 22

By Kobbs - 05/07/2016 13:41 - United States - Le Roy

Today, I learned that my girlfriend's strep throat might have been still contagious, and I may have also contracted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 31

By nzomgole - 05/07/2016 13:38 - Turkey - Antalya

Today, I got a snap from my girlfriend saying that she will fuck the guy from the bar. The snap was not to me, but it was to her other boyfriend who she's about to cheat on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 160

You deserved it 14

By why me - 05/07/2016 13:27 - United States - Bay Shore

Today, I got home from an extremely stressful day of work, hoping to play with my rabbit to relax a bit. As soon as I walk in the door my father tells me she passed away about an hour before I got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 163

You deserved it 13

By ashley0526 - 05/07/2016 13:26 - United States - Saratoga Springs

Today my one year old daughter woke up at 3 in the morning and puked all over me and her father. It was all rotten milk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 148

You deserved it 13

By ScratchCatPower - 05/07/2016 13:19 - United States - Camillus

Today, as usual, my summer allergies acted up. I also woke up with a huge pimple in my left nostril. I can barely breathe through my nose to begin with, due to allergies, but now the pimple makes it near impossible. When I breathe through my mouth, I wheeze so badly I sound like a dying hyena. FML

I agree, your life sucks 147

You deserved it 19

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The Top

Today, I found out that my mother, who's been against me seeking treatment for my cancer, has been going to different churches and charities to get donations for her "poor ailing daughter." I've not seen a dime of this money, and my mom just tells me to pray my cancer away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 013

You deserved it 156

Today, I went to my parents house to secretly collect all of their home videos and convert them to DVDs as a Christmas gift. Among them I found a sex tape my parents had made. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 803

You deserved it 3 677

Today, I was at a bar with my friend, when I noticed a young lad at a table near to us. I thought it'd be funny to jeer and flick peanuts at him. I went to the restroom, only to come back to my friend face-down on the floor. Turns out the guy fucked him up instead, and now he won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 239

You deserved it 60 944

Today, my boyfriend thought the garbage can in our kitchen smelled bad. Instead of cleaning it, he had it equipped with a Wunderbaum. Our entire house now smells like "New Car". FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 183

You deserved it 3 823

Today, I found out that I’m pregnant even though I've had the implant for a couple of years. I don’t know what’s worse, the fact that I got knocked up after only seeing the guy for a few weeks, or the fact that I had a boyfriend for five years and it never happened. The new guy thinks I lied and bailed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 028

You deserved it 316

Today, my Marine friend got back from his tour of duty overseas. We went out for drinks to celebrate his return. His own form of celebration was to pick a fight with a returning Navy SEAL and his friends. We lost. Badly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 374

You deserved it 14 147