Let me open by saying that I'm sorry that you felt that suicide was the answer, but glad you are still around. Some people react to loss, and near loss, by projecting how they feel about the matter into someone else, but I can understand that your mother not stating that she would have been upset had you succeeded would be upsetting. As someone who's been in a situation similar to yours, (though, admittedly I didn't follow through on the attempt and instead went to the hospital after hours of staring at the method I had considered) I feel like I should say that there isn't really anything that will make the urge go away immediately. Recovery isn't something that will be fast, or easy, but hopefully you'll find the struggle as something worth fighting for, even if things look bleak now.

your*

I'm glad you didn't succeed. Please give people that love you (like your sister)a chance to show their love.

As a person who has attempted, I know it's rough. I hope you get the help you need

It's not at all unusual for parents to consider the impact on their children to be more important than anything that happents to themselves. She was probably struggling for what to say and didn't handle this terribly well. I'm sorry that you felt that you have nothing to live for and I realise that nothing I can say will change how you feel. However, most things do improve with time, if you can just find a way to make it there. It sounds like you sister loves you very much (and I'm not sure the above is really evidence that your mother doesn't) so maybe you could arrange to call her if you feel things are becoming too much for you again. Just speaking to someone who cares for you might make all the difference and I'm sure she would rather take a few calls from you saying that you are feeling down tonight than take a call from the police to say that they have found your body. Stick with it - one day at a time - it will get better in the end.