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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my boss called me over to his office; he wanted me to fire four hardworking employees. One of them was the girl I was going to ask out. FML

#20447887
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31564) - you deserved it (2127)

On 01/08/2013 at 11:40am - work - by AnonUser464 (man) - United States

Today, an intoxicated gentleman stumbled into my shop requesting alcohol, which I do not sell. When I informed him of this, he expressed his disappointment by urinating on the floor. FML

#20445898
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18783) - you deserved it (1590)

On 01/07/2013 at 6:11am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, someone sent my boss a CD full of documents for an upcoming trial. It's my job to sort through the evidence, so he gave it to me. I looked on the CD. There's only one file; a 1020-page PDF of all the documents we need, and the pages weren't scanned in order. FML

#20441300
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23502) - you deserved it (1215)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:36pm - work - by fucked five ways to friday (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was cleaning one of my disabled clients because he pooped himself, so I started to undress him for a shower. I took his dirty diaper off and set it on his bed, then I bent over to take off his socks at which point he put the diaper on my head like a hat. FML

#20438439
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42992) - you deserved it (3348)

On 01/02/2013 at 10:49am - work - by habassistant - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got fired from my job because I "look too grumpy." FML

#20437963
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23869) - you deserved it (7070)

On 01/02/2013 at 2:28am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boss put me on suspension, a week after granting a subordinate time off to recover from surgery. When I signed the paperwork, I was too embarrassed to admit I didn't understand her writing, which apparently said she was getting treated for "dangerously low levels of dick". FML

#20434482
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7545) - you deserved it (17031)

On 12/31/2012 at 5:42pm - work - by offtothejobcentre (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

#20434472
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32278) - you deserved it (2705)

On 12/31/2012 at 5:36pm - work - by shattysituation - United States

Today, my workplace was having a raffle and was giving away a Venus shaving kit. A co-worker won, but instead of keeping it, she walked over and handed the basket to me in front of everyone, said "You need it more" and walked away. FML

#20433619
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23994) - you deserved it (4171)

On 12/31/2012 at 5:17am - work - by shaving kit (woman) -

Today, while helping out at a retirement home, I had to get a book off a bookshelf. When I reached up, my watch got stuck on my shirt, resulting in my shirt lifting up. I just flashed my man-boobs to at least 20 senior citizens, and one of them even asked if he could have a feel. FML

#20433442
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21564) - you deserved it (4452)

On 12/31/2012 at 2:58am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my dad asked me when I was going to start looking for a job. Jokingly, I told him next year. He got pissed, started to yell, then realized Tuesday is New Year's Day and grounded me for "being a dumbass." FML

#20432925
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21690) - you deserved it (6074)

On 12/30/2012 at 10:51pm - work - by BAMN2187 - United States

Today, I'm sharing a hotel room with co-workers on a business trip. The walls are paper-thin, you could hear a pin drop, and I'm trying to make my explosive diarrhea as close to silent as possible. FML

#20431241
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28057) - you deserved it (1761)

On 12/30/2012 at 1:14am - work - by avoid the sour cream - United States

Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML

#20430634
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20675) - you deserved it (2011)

On 12/29/2012 at 8:01pm - work - by nose hurts (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, at the hospital I work at, I had to deliver my best friend's baby. I later found out that my ex boyfriend was the father. Normally this wouldn't faze me, but it did because we broke up last month. FML

#20429423
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36041) - you deserved it (1847)

On 12/29/2012 at 3:25am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



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