Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I got a call from work stating that my employment was being terminated. This was after being suspended while they investigated my sexual harassment claim. Their reason for firing me: misuse of company time. Yes, I suppose reporting being sexually harassed is a huge waste of time. FML

#20681249
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16726) - you deserved it (1577)

On 05/23/2013 at 3:24am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML

#20680679
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24031) - you deserved it (1753)

On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I confronted my boss to find out why I was denied a promotion that she promised to me. Her response? "You should know by now I'm a liar. Not my fault if you believe the things I say." FML

#20680205
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16372) - you deserved it (1373)

On 05/22/2013 at 5:48pm - work - by Snurkles McGee (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at work, my boss made me go outside and wash people's cars for free. I work at Verizon. FML

#20677176
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32207) - you deserved it (2882)

On 05/21/2013 at 2:31am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had my first job as a wedding planner. I'd spent a year making sure everything was right. After the wedding my friend comforted me by saying, "You had to have known it wasn't going to be perfect." I knew that it wouldn't be perfect, but I had expected the groom to at least show up. FML

#20676942
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32859) - you deserved it (2098)

On 05/21/2013 at 12:10am - work - by future walmart employee (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was notified that the company did not give me a raise two months ago like I thought. The increase was a typo. Two months ago I wrote a thank you for the raise email to my boss. Now I get to write a check to the company to pay back my "raise." FML

#20676088
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27074) - you deserved it (2102)

On 05/20/2013 at 7:07pm - work - by Check Writer - United States (California)

Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML

#20673456
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38934) - you deserved it (2974)

On 05/19/2013 at 5:27pm - work - by harrington61 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went for an interview regarding a seasonal position I'd been offered at a grocery store. The manager showed up 45 minutes past the scheduled interview time, cheerfully greeted me, and took me back to his office, just to tell me that they don't hire seasonal help. Ever. FML

#20671268
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36544) - you deserved it (2819)

On 05/18/2013 at 4:36pm - work - by ineedayob (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got my third promotion at work in as many years. My husband congratulated me very briefly, before asking if this meant he no longer had to look for a job. FML

#20671146
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32630) - you deserved it (3943)

On 05/18/2013 at 3:27pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Guanajuato)

Today, while sitting at a red light with my window down, the asshat next to me flicked his still-lit cigarette away. It landed in my car and wedged between me and my seat. It burned a hole in my shirt and my seat, and burned my back and hair. FML

#20665470
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39073) - you deserved it (2540)

On 05/15/2013 at 5:47pm - work - by Seriously? (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was babysitting a 4-year-old, and we decided to play a game of hide and seek. Before he started to count, he looked me straight in the eyes and said that if I hid in his spot, he'd murder me with a knife when he grows up. I have to babysit this kid for the rest of the summer. FML

#20662885
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39004) - you deserved it (2933)

On 05/14/2013 at 12:48pm - work - by sumhub94 - United States

Today, I gave my boss a gift card as a late birthday present, since I wasn't in the office on his actual birthday. He accused me of trying to bribe my way to a promotion, and suspended me on the spot. FML

#20660668
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33431) - you deserved it (3269)

On 05/13/2013 at 12:01pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was told I would not be getting the job I was offered because I failed my drug test. They never gave me a drug test. FML

#20660591
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42336) - you deserved it (2253)

On 05/13/2013 at 10:39am - work - by Confused (man) - United States (Maine)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML’s Roommates from hell
  • If we could, we’d probably all live on our own. Exotic dancers would do our cleaning and housework; bartenders would serve us glamorous cocktails with mini paper umbrellas in them every hour on the dot. We would…

Monday 20 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: