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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Today, I was breaking into a house when three police cruisers pulled up. They ran my social, my license plates, and asked me twenty minutes worth of questions, before allowing me to go back to work. I work as a locksmith; the homeowner had lost their keys. FML

#18968105 (147)

I agree, your life sucks (7326) - you deserved it (632)

On 02/01/2012 at 11:11am - work - by ABBenzin (man) - United States

Today, I submitted my 208th job application in less than a year, and went to my 83rd and 84th interviews, only to be told once again that I'm over-qualified for the first, and under-qualified for the second. FML

#18960811 (120)

I agree, your life sucks (7230) - you deserved it (398)

On 01/31/2012 at 1:45pm - work - by hastobeajoke (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, at work, a customer threatened to punch me in the face because the store I work at doesn't have shopping baskets, only carts. FML

#18958245 (120)

I agree, your life sucks (5695) - you deserved it (451)

On 01/31/2012 at 1:12am - work - by chubbyreddevil - United States

Today, I went to deliver some reports to my boss in his office. He was facing away from me and ranting about his "useless employees", so I slipped in and waited for him to put the phone down. Turns out he was talking to himself. When he noticed me, he bitched me out and threatened to fire me. FML

#18954883 (66)

I agree, your life sucks (5183) - you deserved it (923)

On 01/30/2012 at 7:20pm - work - by robert (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I learnt there's a woman who comes into my store only to hear my Barry White-like voice. My boss knows who it is, yet refuses to tell me because it's "hilarious." I'm now cautious of every customer. FML

#18950332 (42)

I agree, your life sucks (5217) - you deserved it (709)

On 01/30/2012 at 4:00am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I arrived at the pizza place I work at to find that I'd been fired. Apparently, the class stoner came in last night and not only demanded a free pizza, but also claimed that I always gave him one. I've never talked to this kid in my life, but my boss still doesn't believe me. FML

#18947150 (88)

I agree, your life sucks (6547) - you deserved it (460)

On 01/29/2012 at 9:36pm - work - by LowerCrust (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after having finally summoned the nerve to report a guy at my workplace who has been sexually harassing me for months, I got a phone call from my boss. He said that there was nothing he could do about it, because the guy "wouldn't confess." FML

#18929517 (182)

I agree, your life sucks (7527) - you deserved it (500)

On 01/27/2012 at 10:41pm - work - by jaycee (woman) - United States

Today, I had to work late. I missed the last bus so I called a cab. That was 3 hours ago. I called my dad for a ride. That was 2 hours ago. I guess I'm sleeping under my desk tonight. FML

#18922050 (88)

I agree, your life sucks (7406) - you deserved it (674)

On 01/27/2012 at 12:35am - work - by Wendizzle (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I cut my finger with a knife while cooking. I work in a hospital and have to use hand disinfectant at least every twenty minutes. It hurts badly. I have to work for eight hours. FML

#18917374 (203)

I agree, your life sucks (5620) - you deserved it (953)

On 01/26/2012 at 4:57pm - work - by StupidNurse (woman) - Germany

Today, I got stuck for a while in a hallway between two security doors due to a malfunction. I'm not claustrophobic, but I sure am sensitive to horrifying smells coming from a nearby bathroom stall. FML

#18906586 (61)

I agree, your life sucks (5435) - you deserved it (486)

On 01/25/2012 at 10:50am - work - by replik - Russian Federation

Today, a coworker thought it would be funny to put a tack on my chair. When I sat down, it went directly into my butt. When I sprang up, I hit my head on a lamp. I then hit my head on my desk on the way down. FML

#18904057 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (8361) - you deserved it (726)

On 01/25/2012 at 12:03am - work - by Benjamin - United States (California)

Today, the office tough guy learned how to use the fire extinguisher. On me. I wasn't on fire. FML

#18902746 (88)

I agree, your life sucks (6044) - you deserved it (645)

On 01/24/2012 at 9:58pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, it's -20°C outside. Half way through my thirty minutes walk to work, my boss pulled up beside me in her car, said "You look cold. I'll see you at work." And then drove away. FML

#18898578 (248)

I agree, your life sucks (9262) - you deserved it (750)

On 01/24/2012 at 1:07pm - work - by emma209 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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