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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my skinny co-worker complained that sitting just underneath the AC vent was making her too cold. My boss had us switch places, because "my mass keeps me warm anyway". FML

#21288043
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12228) - you deserved it (1796)

On 10/29/2014 at 10:41pm - work - by OfficeFatty - United States

Today, I woke up to a text from my manager, saying "Hed's up dude, ur gettin fired tomoz. CEO's pissed. No hard feelins m8". Great. FML

#21287630
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20536) - you deserved it (1544)

On 10/29/2014 at 11:46am - work - by fired tomoz (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I had my first job interview. The manager asks me to sell him his pen. Thinking I'm all smart, I reenact the scene from the Wolf of Wall Street and say, 'Write down your name'. He calmly reaches into his drawer, takes out another pen and writes his name down. He then looks at me and laughs. FML

#21287428
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23407) - you deserved it (5935)

On 10/29/2014 at 12:55am - work - by shadysheikh - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to a first aid training course. I had to lie on the floor and pretend I was unconscious. We were supposed to be doing the recovery position, but the guy I was working with decided to perform CPR instead and grope my boobs in the process. FML

#21287010
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26058) - you deserved it (2375)

On 10/28/2014 at 2:35pm - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I reprimanded three students for sleeping, five for not having books, and kicked three out for texting in class. One student yelled at me for a bad grade, and another stormed out for a failing exam score. I teach at a four-year university. FML

Today, I watched my co-worker throw the mother of all temper tantrums. He's a radio personality, and just learned that he's not famous enough to use the "Don't you know who I am?" line to get out of a traffic ticket. FML

#21286268
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26765) - you deserved it (2417)

On 10/27/2014 at 12:25pm - work - by Radio GaGa (man) - Canada

Today, I overheard my co-workers talking about how they don't need flu shots because everyone else gets them. These people are in the medical industry. FML

#21286250
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28031) - you deserved it (2682)

On 10/27/2014 at 11:40am - work - by Silbax1 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was shopping at my workplace, out of uniform, with my husband. A customer recognised me and wanted me to serve him, but I couldn't since we can be fired for doing so while off-duty. He complained to my manager, who wasted no time publicly bitching me out. FML

#21285416
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30959) - you deserved it (2061)

On 10/26/2014 at 1:53am - work - by iskiel (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was at work and a lady screamed at my manager for about 15 minutes, saying I needed to be fired because I couldn't get rid of all the flies buzzing around her food. She was the one who chose to eat on our patio. FML

#21285397
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28841) - you deserved it (1976)

On 10/26/2014 at 1:17am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to a big job interview. As I walked in, I tripped and fell flat on my face. Other highlights include my voice cracking multiple times, sweating profusely and getting uncontrollable nervous giggling. The interviewer eventually stared at me in disbelief and asked if I was high. FML

#21285028
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31176) - you deserved it (4136)

On 10/25/2014 at 2:27pm - work - by not on life, that's for fucking sure (man) - United States

Today, after my first day at work at a local daycare, I found out that I'm not entitled to breaks because I'm the only worker there who doesn't smoke. My boss asked me, ''What do you need a break for?'' FML

#21284495
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34847) - you deserved it (2534)

On 10/24/2014 at 4:52pm - work - by Anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I tried to download some network-monitoring software for the office as I suspect that one of my staff has been constantly downloading torrents. It wouldn't download because someone was using all the bandwidth. FML

#21282944
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28027) - you deserved it (2717)

On 10/22/2014 at 4:09am - work - by Thewatcher (man) - Mauritius

Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML

#21282836
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31423) - you deserved it (3318)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm - work - by Australian Lifeguard - United States (Arizona)



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