Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my co-worker told me that my other co-worker is in the process of getting a divorce. I got really excited because his marriage is very toxic. He overheard me say, "He deserves that divorce!" I meant it in a good way, but I don't think he took it that way. FML

#21268618
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20395) - you deserved it (6980)

On 09/30/2014 at 10:20pm - work - by oopsydaisy (woman) - United States

Today, while running an event, my belt loop got caught in those metal whorls that outdoor chairs have. I couldn't get it undone and had to greet guests by standing up and bringing the chair with me, hanging from my ass. My coworker finally had to cut the belt loop to set me free. FML

#21266851
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25514) - you deserved it (3244)

On 09/28/2014 at 7:40am - work - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I got yelled, screamed, and cursed at by a customer until I was reduced to tears. This was all because I double-checked to make sure she wanted large fries. FML

#21266131
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33249) - you deserved it (3031)

On 09/27/2014 at 12:22am - work - by heretoserve (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was asked to order a new lockable cash tin for work. When my boss returned to ask which one I'd selected, I said, "An 8-inch black one". Her giggle said it all. FML

#21265697
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28742) - you deserved it (5448)

On 09/26/2014 at 9:03am - work - by dicksonthebrain (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, we had a meeting at my job and we had to introduce new ideas to our boss. Earlier, I was talking to one of my close friends who also attended the meeting about my idea. As we start the meeting, she decides to steal my idea and take complete credit for it. My boss loves "her" idea. FML

#21265023
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34579) - you deserved it (5680)

On 09/25/2014 at 8:18am - work - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, after waiting well over a month for a work visa in Germany that should only have taken 3 weeks to come through, I finally received my long-awaited answer. Unfortunately, that answer was "We lost your paperwork." FML

#21264505
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31692) - you deserved it (2110)

On 09/24/2014 at 1:17pm - work - by AdriftInTheSeaOfPaperwork (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I went to use the porta potty at the construction site I work at and found two homeless people having sex in it. I almost got fired, because my advisor blamed me. FML

#21264426
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33408) - you deserved it (2596)

On 09/24/2014 at 9:58am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it's been two months since I started a three-year contract at a new job. So far, 5 people have resigned. Pretty sure I've joined a sinking ship. FML

#21264311
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29278) - you deserved it (2554)

On 09/24/2014 at 3:15am - work - by SinkingShip (woman) - South Africa

Today, after a solid month of hard work, I finally finished modeling and animating a 3D insect character for a scene. After presenting it to the rest of my team, one of my teammates pointed out that it looks exactly like a flying penis. FML

#21263953
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28217) - you deserved it (5022)

On 09/23/2014 at 5:12pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, we spent an entire day without being able to do work because our internet connection was down. Turns out, only the router had crashed and nobody bothered to reset it "to avoid doing further damage". FML

#21263926
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26205) - you deserved it (2798)

On 09/23/2014 at 4:19pm - work - by disconnected (woman) - Brazil (Rio Grande do Sul)

Today, my boss changed some company calendar settings on my computer to see what they'd be like. He didn't like it, so he told me to change it back, then left. I have no idea what he changed. FML

#21263813
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28340) - you deserved it (2314)

On 09/23/2014 at 1:29pm - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, it's the first day of fall. It's also the day that over 20 people have made jokes about my name being "Autumn" like they're the funniest, most original people alive. It's not even 8 am. This is going to be a long day. FML

#21263689
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30471) - you deserved it (2860)

On 09/23/2014 at 8:00am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my co-workers threw me a surprise 30th birthday party. After lighting sparklers on the cake and singing happy birthday, we all enjoyed a few moments of sparkly, happy fun time. Then the building's fire alarm tripped and over 200 people had to be evacuated. FML

#21259630
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30791) - you deserved it (3737)

On 09/16/2014 at 7:23pm - work - by so so old now (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: