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Wednesday 6 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I learned that my big, tough, strong dog is terrified of spiders when he jumped, knocked over a table and then peed on the spider to drown it. FML

#20495511
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31612) - you deserved it (4453)

On 02/06/2013 at 8:59am - animals - by DogLover (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML

#20499722
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31602) - you deserved it (4384)

On 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I finally figured out why I've been getting diarrhea so often over the past six months. It only happens whenever I do something "sneaky". My body reacts strongly to how I stress over potentially getting caught. I'm a private investigator, and I apparently need a new career. FML

#20500655
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31395) - you deserved it (3791)

On 02/10/2013 at 5:41am - work - by screwed - United States

Today, my roommate found an eviction notice on our door for unpaid rent. Our apartment building caught fire and we haven't been living there for well over a month because it was legally unlivable. Today was our first day back. FML

#20500469
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31313) - you deserved it (1886)

On 02/10/2013 at 1:08am - money - by fireenginemad - United States (Washington)

Today, my son threw the biggest fit in history about going to the dentist. He broke a whole stack of plates, overflowed the bathtub, let the dog loose, and kicked his father when he tried to calm him down. My son is 17. FML

#20495428
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31280) - you deserved it (33089)

On 02/06/2013 at 6:12am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the guy I like and his friend came home with me to work on a project. I opened my front door and my mum was at the top of the stairs completely naked, bent over, drying her hair with the hairdryer. It took a few moments for her to realise we were there. FML

#20504733
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31255) - you deserved it (2623)

On 02/13/2013 at 6:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (North Ayrshire)

Today, my manager asked me for the password to my Internet so she could Skype family since she can't pay her bill. This is the same woman who just a week ago tried to evict me because my rent was an hour late. Trying to be the bigger person, I gave her the password. She changed my password. FML

#20496640
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31127) - you deserved it (16406)

On 02/07/2013 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML

#20502122
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31057) - you deserved it (28140)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I hired out a motel room so I could stay there by myself and lie to my mother and grandmother about having friends. This is the third time. FML

#20492687
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30887) - you deserved it (13861)

On 02/04/2013 at 2:45am - love - by lonelyloser - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I found a cup full of urine in the bathtub. No one in my family knows where it came from. This is the second time it's happened. FML

#20498051
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30755) - you deserved it (2419)

On 02/08/2013 at 10:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after weeks of practice, I proudly did 9 chin-ups on my chin-up bar. As soon as I was done, my 11-year-old daughter came over and banged out 12 of them. Then she wiped her sweaty hands off and did 8 more. Then she gave me pointers on my technique. FML

#20493569
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30700) - you deserved it (6694)

On 02/04/2013 at 8:00pm - health - by WeakerThanaLittleGirl (man) - United States

Today, after three and a half years of working dead-end jobs with a bachelor's degree, I got a call from a potential employer in my degree field, who wanted to set up an interview. The problem: the interview is across the country, and I'm too broke to pay the travel expenses. FML

#20498605
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30419) - you deserved it (2344)

On 02/08/2013 at 7:19pm - work - by goingnowherefast (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was making lunch, when my two-year-old ran up to me and handed me an empty bottle of baby powder. I soon realized I'd be spending the rest of my day cleaning the entire house. FML



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