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Monday 12 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after finishing a test, I decided to draw to pass the time. My teacher looked at the drawing and gave me a referral to the principal for drawing an "anti-Semitic picture." I'd drawn Superman. FML

#20163905
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14220) - you deserved it (979)

On 11/15/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Superman (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom sold my Magic box at a garage sale because I "never use it." Locked inside it was my fake ID, a couple of hundred bucks, and a bag of weed. She can't remember who she sold it to. FML

#20170086
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14000) - you deserved it (29557)

On 11/19/2012 at 9:04pm - misc - by karmaquestionmark (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my mom has officially lost 100 pounds due to a lap-band surgery. After sharing her excitement, she also shared her troubles. She said, "Everything hangs now, even my cooter. Can they fix that?" Thank you for the mental image, mom. FML

#20159898
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13569) - you deserved it (978)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:25am - health - by KtSue - United States

Today, I had to stand next to my wife at the supermarket, beet-red and pretending not to exist; about half an hour into our shopping, she completely lost her shit at the advertising on the loudspeaker, turned to another patron, and screamed into his face to shut the fuck up. FML

#20164356
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13264) - you deserved it (1678)

On 11/15/2012 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland

Today, my daughter had a meltdown when I told her I donated some of her old toys to Goodwill. It turns out Toy Story has taught her that toys have feelings and that she has a meaningful relationship with them. She's in her teens. FML

#20167023
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13235) - you deserved it (21508)

On 11/17/2012 at 5:31pm - kids - by susan (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after working out and feeling really confident, I entered a mixed wrestling competition. My first match was against a woman who was over a foot taller than me. She managed to easily lift me over her head and toss me out of the ring within seconds. Confidence: gone. FML

#20160946
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11388) - you deserved it (4901)

On 11/12/2012 at 8:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I put on a shirt that said "skilled in every position." My boyfriend took one look and said, "since when?" FML

#20167475
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8926) - you deserved it (24311)

On 11/18/2012 at 12:05am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my family was celebrating my grandma's 90th birthday. I pulled a little prank and got candles that keep relighting. After a few blows, my grandma fainted. FML

#20164153
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8272) - you deserved it (39777)

On 11/15/2012 at 9:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I bought an $80, "invincible" phone case. One test drop later, my phone had turned into an expensive paperweight. FML

#20161826
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7462) - you deserved it (26654)

On 11/13/2012 at 1:24pm - money - by bummed and broke - United States

Today, I was working at the checkout of a nearly empty store, so I picked up an empty box, closed my eyes, and slow-danced with it to the 80s love ballad playing on the radio. I don't know what's worse, dancing with a box, or opening my eyes to see ten or so wary customers waiting to be served. FML

#20161561
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6818) - you deserved it (28612)

On 11/13/2012 at 5:23am - work - by foreveralone (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to see my favorite band. It was all amazing and great until I decided to go crowd surfing. I was maybe too heavy because people jumped away instead of catching me. I fell right on my tailbone. FML

#20166417
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6748) - you deserved it (27162)

On 11/17/2012 at 8:56am - health - by lekijkerd - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I was looking at tattoos and fell in love with a really cool looking one, so I decided to get it. I later showed it to a friend who is a cop. He informed me that it is a gang tattoo. I think I just put a target on my ankle. FML

#20162265
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6568) - you deserved it (25001)

On 11/13/2012 at 8:03pm - misc - by scaredinnyc - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I discovered both how much I really talk to myself when I'm drinking alone and how thin the walls of my apartment are. I heard my own slurred voice coming from my neighbor's apartment. They had recorded me and made a mixtape of some of the more interesting things I had said. FML

#20162727
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6434) - you deserved it (12635)

On 11/14/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by talker (man) - United States (California)



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